Prior to the Fort Hood killings, Reverend David Rinas, a Lutheran Minister in Chelmsford, Massachusetts and Imam Hafiz Abdul Hannan from the Islamic Society of Greater Lowell (MA) had planned an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service. The timing of their service could not have been any better. It was a great time for people within Massachusetts to learn more about Islam and other faiths different than their own.

When I saw the notice in my local paper announcing the service, I immediately tore the clipping out and entered the 7PM service into my Blackberry.  That slot was locked-in on my calendar for several days until I found out on Sunday morning that the New England Patriots-New York Jets games started at 4:15 (which meant it wouldn’t end until about 7:30PM)  The interfaith service would significantly cut-into an evening of relaxing football!

As it got to be about 5:30PM, it was pitch black, cold and raw in Massachusetts.  I was comfortably settled in front of the football game with the gas fireplace in our family room cranked to the temperature of a pizza oven. I had to decide whether to finish the football game while toasty warm, or change clothes, freshen-up and head-out into the dark, dreary night.

Why does doing the right think always make us feel good?

I strolled into the Trinity Lutheran Church at about 6:55PM after listening to the Patriots game on my car radio in the church parking lot up until the last minute.  Like most church services that I’ve ever been to, most of the people there were seated in the middle of the church toward the back.  There were plenty of seats available at the front on the left-hand side, so I headed in that direction so that I’d be able to see and have a little breathing room (H1N1 is everywhere!).

At about 6:58, about 6 people and an infant chose the row directly in front of my pew and settled-in comfortably making sure to completely obstruct this 5 foot 8 inch man’s perfect view of the lectern and altar.

After a short greeting by Rev. Rinas, John Kurland from Congregation Shalom lead us in this prayer:

God of all creation, we stand in awe before You, impelled by visions of the harmony of humanity.   We are children of many traditions–inheritors of shared wisdom and tragic misunderstandings, of proud hopes and humble successes.  Now it is time for us to meet and worship–in memory and truth, in courage and trust, in love and promise.

In that which we share, let us see the common prayer of humanity; in that which we differ, let us wonder at the freedom of all; in our unity and our differences, let us know the uniqueness that is God.

May our courage match our convictions, and our integrity match our hope. May our gratitude and thankfulness which brings us together today unite our hearts in love. May our faith in You bring us closer to each other.  May our meeting with past and present bring blessing for the future.

Amen.

What football game? At about 7:02, I knew that I had made the right decision to leave the pizza oven and venture into the cold church that was full of warmth.

The 80 minute service alternated between music and prayer. A member from each faith lead us in a prayer that was deemed appropriate by each of the clergy prior to the service.  They got together to decide how to focus on all that we had in common rather than focus on our differences.  I love that!

One of the guys in front of me who was obstructing my view had the red hymnal open but, was not singing.  It appeared as if he had a piece of paper in the hymnal that he was studying while pretending to be looking at the hymnal.

When it came time for the recitation from the Quran, that man got up and proceeded to the lectern. The most touching part of the evening for me was scripture sung from the Quran in Arabic.  His voice trembled from nerves at the beginning most likely because he was out of his comfort zone–I think that everyone else was too. He quickly settled in to singing the Word of Allah.  Muslims are serious about their faith.

Knowing the little that I do about meditation, the body is divided into 7-8 chakras (energy centers) that start from the base of the spine and proceed up to the tip of the head (the crown chakra). The chakras are called energy centers because these are the places where we have large collections of nerves that can frequently become stuck.  Yoga, meditation and chiropractic are all ways of making sure that these chakras are working properly. When each of them is working properly, our body is at ease and free from dis-ease.

Each of the chakras is related to a unique color and  note from the musical C-scale.  Having the scripture sung to me seemed to touch each of my chakras as his chanting resonated with each energy center from the base of my spine up to my crown.

What I now realized is that I had been lucky enough to sit in the section where the Muslims decided to sit.  In addition to the man who chanted from the Quran, the Imam’s wife was to my right and immediately in front of me was a young couple who had a 5-month old infant in a bassinet in-between them.  Amir (the Dad) could not have payed any more attention to his beautiful little daughter if he tried.  She was gorgeous as she sat there sleeping through most of the service waking up only to have the pacifier returned to her mouth or for a sip from the bottle. When Amir’s daughter occasionally woke up, her beautiful, sparkling eyes were looking directly into mine as if she were peering into my soul.  Her Dad turned around and looked at me for the first time to try and figure out who or what she was looking at so intently.

The keynote speaker was the Imam from the Islamic Society.  If I ever had a doubt about our ability to have Unity Consciousness become our collective reality across the globe, that thought was quickly removed. The Imam and each of the clergy from every faith focused on a common God and the common spirit present in every human.

While Imam Hannan was talking about Islam and how Muslims pray 5 times per day, he also told us how they are thankful for so many things including simple things like clothing.   He reminded us that each of us has so many things to be thankful for that we could never count all of Allah’s blessings bestowed upon us.  Well said.

He went on to say that although Thanksgiving is largely a North American tradition, we should include each member of our global family into our prayers of Thanksgiving and not restrict our thanks and blessings to the United States or Canada only.

The service ended with Rev. Rinas, suggesting that we introduce ourselves to each other before going into the hall for coffee and baked goods. Because of the H1N1 virus precaution, the Lutheran church members have stopped shaking hands and instead started touching each other’s wrists. Because Muslim women are prohibited from touching other men, we were asked to either bow or give a visual hello or sign of peace to each other.

I said hello to the man who had sung the Quran scriptures and told him what a great voice he had. He smiled with appreciation. Amir (the little girl’s Dad) had left the church for a few minutes when his daughter had started crying and didn’t hear the announcement about no hand shaking.   He gave me a big, bright smile that came close to matching the brightness of his daughter’s eyes as he extended his hand as a sign of peace. I ignored the no-hand-shaking rule and eagerly extended my hand to my new friend as I told him how lovely his daughter was.

I didn’t want to leave the football game and drive 15 minutes to get to get to the service. Amir and his wife got their 5-month old daughter bundled up and drove 45 minutes to get to the service to hear his friend – Imam Hannan – speak.  What was I thinking?

Our world is small.

We are all the same at our core.  We’re humans who fall in love with other humans.  We care deeply for our children.  Many of us have come to know God through the faith we learned as a child or deliberately chose as adults.  The more that we learn about each other, the more it becomes easy for us to love each other.

Knowledge brings us together, but it is knowledge of God’s love for us that makes it easy to love each other.

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Do you purchase a car because of its’ curb appeal and sleek exterior or do you purchase based upon what’s underneath the hood?

Because I’ve had my own business since 1999, I’ve been leasing my cars since that time. My accountant advised me 11 years ago that it made more sense from a tax standpoint for business owners to lease rather than purchase.

After taking my wife to lunch on Saturday, I asked her if she’d like to join me in taking a look at the Volkswagen CC at a dealership that’s close to our house. I thought I should start looking because my current lease expires at the end of February and I was quickly approaching the mileage allowance on the existing car. In just 60 more miles, I’d begin paying $.25 per mile for every mile driven until February.

When we pulled up to the front door and took the key out of the ignition, Carolyn didn’t budge from her car seat.  I asked her if she was coming in with me to give me her opinion on the car and to keep me company. That’s my idea of a romantic Saturday afternoon after 25 years of marriage! She responded sheepishly with “no thanks, I’ll just wait here for you”. Even though she’s been married to a salesperson since 1984, salespeople still make her so uncomfortable that she’d rather sit in our car alone than have to deal with their sales tactics and insincerity.

After a few words of encouragement from my best “Mr. Suave impression”, she finally agreed to venture inside the lion’s den. I hadn’t yet finished closing her car door when one of the lions came out licking his lips like we were deer. I don’t know who was more uncomfortable, Carolyn or Kevin, our VW salesperson.

It’s not just Carolyn and Kevin.  Most salespeople are uncomfortable calling or approaching prospects/customers and most people feel uncomfortable dealing with any kind of salespeople.

After Kevin’s over the top but nice hello, he opened the door to invite us into the showroom where right inside the door were 10 other lions hanging around waiting for their next deer: with nothing to do but slurp coffee and consume whole donuts in a single bite. The testosterone-filled room of trained killers was making Carolyn even more uncomfortable.

As Kevin asked us to sit so he could ask us several questions, I think Carolyn felt we were being offered poisoned apples from the Queen like Snow White: she was sure “come here my pretty” was the next line out of Kevin’s mouth.

I told him the truth as I always do. I still had 4 more lease payments to make and my current lease didn’t expire until March 1st.  The only reason that we had stopped by that day was to take a look at a car that had caused me to rubberneck a couple of times within the last 30 days or so. I wanted to get an idea of whether or not the VW CC should be on my list of possible cars.  I already like the exterior. I wanted a chance to see what the inside looked like.

We went out to the lot to take a look at what they had in stock. Because I drive in 3-4 rental cars per month, I wasn’t even interested in test-driving the car. I was pretty confident that a Volkswagen would handle very well.  Upon their insistence (it’s part of their sales process), I agreed to take one out for a quick test-drive. I didn’t feel any different about the car after doing so, but they were happy that I had.

When we returned from the test drive, Kevin asked one of the sales managers to talk with us about our options – lease, purchase, etc.  At this point, Carolyn was trying to hide within the confines of the chair as her scrawny 148-pound husband was being pounced upon simultaneously by multiple lions.  Though they were really very nice, Carolyn already had her mind set into thinking that this and all car purchases should be bad experiences. I was pretty confident that this would be a good experience whether we decided to buy a car or not.

We always get what we expect!

Carolyn was so uncomfortable as I was mulling over the lease versus buy options that she left the showroom again seeking shelter within the car we came in.  Because I genuinely liked the car I had test-driven, the salespeople were good, and the price was great, I was strongly considering getting this action item checked off my “to-do” list while I was here.  After a little positive pressure from the sales guys and a little thought, I decided that this would be a good deal for everyone concerned.

Kevin said that he would process the paperwork, work with the insurance company and registry of motor vehicles, have the car serviced and detailed and have it ready for me to pick up Monday afternoon.  Even with the sale done, I wasn’t completely confident that the car would be ready on Monday and I had to be certain that if I returned my lease on Monday, the new car would be ready so that I could get to a speaking engagement early on Tuesday morning.

On Monday, Kevin sent me a text message saying that the car would be ready to be picked-up between 2 and 4PM.  Carolyn dropped me off and barely slowed-down enough to push me out of her car prior to speeding away from the scary zone. I think she thought that if she actually stopped the car completely, Kevin or one of the other lions would coerce her into buying a car against her will!

Kevin greeted me with a sincere smile, handed me the keys and quickly guided me through the owner’s manual prior to escorting me out to the perfectly detailed car. He continued respectfully calling me “Sir” throughout the entire process as he patiently familiarized me with the car.  It was only at this point did I realize that I could be old enough to be his father.

When he had finished showing the old man how to use all of the electronic gadgets and was still seated in the front passenger seat, he leaned towards me enough to pull something out of his right coat pocket.  It was a white paperback book with red ink lettering on the cover.  The title was, The Greatest Salesman In The World.  Kevin said, “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of this book, but I read a chapter each day  in order to……”.

I responded very quickly while he was still in mid-sentence because I was so excited saying, “Kevin, not only have I read this book, but I’ve internalized each of the 10 concepts for success in life into my mind.”  “I’ve given motivational talks around the world based upon the concepts in this exact book. In addition, I’ve read every word ever written by one of the best inspirational, motivational, Christian self-help authors in the world – Og Mandino.” “He has been inspiring me to new levels of success since one of my sales managers gave me that exact book in 1990”.  We both smiled at each other about how much we had in common.

Although I was pretty confident in my decision that purchasing this car was the right thing to do, there was still a little apprehension in my head over the weekend about buying the first car that I looked at from the first salesperson at the first dealer that I visited.  I had also been wondering whether it made sense to buy a new car when I still had 4 hefty lease payments to make on a car that I would be turning in 4 months early.

When Kevin pulled that book out of his pocket, I had received a sign from God that I had absolutely purchased the perfect car at the perfect time at the perfect den from the perfect lion. And, for Carolyn, it showed that no seven dwarves were needed to rescue us (though I’m sure she’d say “this time”)!

Although I never cared to look under the Volkswagen’s hood, I was fortunate to glimpse what was underneath Kevin’s.  He’s put into action the concepts that he has disciplined himself to read on a daily basis.

All people are good underneath the hood.  It’s our job to see what’s beneath the rust, grease, dents, dings and cracks that are visible on the exterior.

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I’ve written to you quite a bit about the best practices for keeping your mind, body and Spirit healthy on a daily basis.   Today, let’s speak about what happens when the real world – outside influences – try to take us off course.

As a way to level-set, here are some of the best practices that assist me on a daily basis to ensure that I’m physically, mentally and spiritually prepared to deal with life’s curve-balls:

To nourish and feed the Spirit: daily reading of Scripture; daily meditation; daily prayer

To maintain a positive mind, healthy self-esteem and focus on goals: read present tense statements of belief (affirmations) at least two times per day (the best two times are upon rising in the AM and just prior to falling asleep in the PM); affirmations are one-sentence statements of fact or belief about how you choose to be in the future that are stated in the present tense so that you can visualize yourself that way – NOW.

To maintain an always healthy body: daily exercise; 5-6 small meals every 3-4 hours; consistent sleep (ideally 8 hours – I rarely hit the ideal on this one)

So now, it’s about 8AM and your exercise, affirmations, meditation, prayer and breakfast have all been completed. I really enjoy getting these activities accomplished before the rest of the world awakens because it’s my “no excuses” time of day.  You can determine when the best “no excuses” time of the day is for you. It’s a way for me to make sure that my priorities for the day are accomplished before outside influences begin interfering.

Because the world around you is now awake, this is when some of the outside influences begin trying their hardest to start cracking your eggshell – that tough exterior designed to repel verbal and mental grenades.  This is when we get the flat tires. This is when we get the call from school telling us that we have a sick child.  This is when the prospect calls us and tells us that we didn’t get the business. This is when we notice that the roof is leaking and our ceiling and walls are damaged.

When we are focused on the direction that we want our life to take and when we’re committed to the ideal “end-result”, each setback or obstacle along the way is just a minor irritation that can bring a smile to our face.

“I smile in the face of adversity.”  That’s one of the thoughts that I repeat often in my mind that I’m pretty sure came from one of Og Mandino’s books.

As these setbacks occur in my life on a daily basis, I’ve noticed that my response to myself (inside my head) and to others out loud is, “Thank God that this is my biggest problem!”

I am constantly thanking God that the problem(s) that I am facing – regardless of how big it seems at the time – is just a puny, little speed bump along my destination.  It’s a minor detour. It may cause me to go out of my way for a block or two, but it will not derail me.

On the way home from church two weeks ago, my car seemed to be handling a little funny. When I got into my driveway, I realized that I had a flat tire.  The flat tire is on a lease that is expiring in a couple of weeks. “Why is this happening now?” was an initial thought that I had which I quickly turned into, “Thank God that this tire is my biggest problem!”.

When I went to the tire shop the next day, I was notified (of course) that the $300 special tire had to be ordered and would not show up for 4 days.  That meant that I’d be driving around with the spare tire (donut) on my car and unable to safely drive more than 50MPH for five days.  “Thank God that this is my biggest problem!”

That Friday, the tired showed up midday. “Finally, my car is back and I can drive the speed limit again.”  It was now 3PM and I had dialed into a conference call on my cell phone as I left the tire shop.  About 30 yards down the road from the tire shop, a warning light came on the dashboard that said I had a problem with my brakes.  Because I was on the conference call and assumed that the authorized dealer would have to fix this electronic problem, I drove 30 miles to the dealer to see if they could fix the problem.

“I am bigger than any problem that is presented to me.” (We can repeat affirmations that strengthen us all throughout the day.)

The service manager came out to look at the car and noticed in 3 seconds that the new tire that had been put on my car not 40 minutes ago was a truck tire and was therefore too big for my car. Having 3 tires that are one size and a fourth tire of a different size is the problem that was causing my warning light to come on.  When he told me that, I took a very deep, cleansing breath and repeated to myself, “Thank you God for allowing this to be my biggest problem.”

Rather than focus on the reality that was being presented me, I triggered my forethought to focus on what was going to occur later that evening. As I visualized a couple of hours into the future, I knew that I was going to get dressed up and take my beautiful wife to a dinner with the President of my daughter’s high school.  It would be a great evening of cocktails, dinner, conversation and laughs with my wife and with other parents of high school boarding students. When that event was over, I’d get to pick-up my daughter (who I hadn’t seen since the prior Sunday), give her a big hug and kiss and take her home with us for the weekend.  How fortunate I am!

You and I always get to choose whether we dwell on the negative or keep our thoughts focused on what we do want.  Successful people do not get bogged-down in their present reality.

I called the dealer on my way home but, it was too late for them to do anything about it at 3:45PM on a Friday and I assumed that they would have to “reorder” the correct tire again.  I knew that the car was unsafe to drive so, I’d have to go the weekend without my car.  “Thank God….”

Each time an obstacle is presented to me, this is the thought that goes through my mind, “Is this problem bigger than me OR am I bigger than it?”  This is a very key decision point for me.  I know with 100% certainty that I will never be presented with a problem that I can’t deal with as long as I have God’s Words inside of my head, the Holy Spirit inside of my being and God’s assistance in solving the problem.  I am never alone. I don’t have to deal with life’s small problems or big problems by myself – ever.

That belief allows me to literally smile in the face of adversity because I know that there is an answer to every single problem that we have to deal with on a daily basis.  I know that God is constantly challenging me to see how much or how little I’ll rely upon Him and include Him into my thought process and creativity.

Thank you God for making each problem a small problem in your eyes.

Thank you for the faith that allows me to know that you are always with me every second of every day.

Thank you for allowing me the ability to choose my thoughts and actions and for helping me to choose love, patience, understanding and compassion as my go-to responses to each of life’s pot holes.

I am now at the point of being almost 100% absent of fear.  It doesn’t matter what an e-mail says or what the phone message will be or what someone might say or do.  Each of these things will just be a very small detour along the pathway to a successful day: trust that God’s plan won’t make you drive 60 mph on your spare “donut” tire.

Staying positive on a daily basis is significantly easier when the foundation for your optimism is based upon Faith and Hope.

In the August 6th USA Today, Sharon Jayson writes a great article about Positive Psychology – Happiness: Staying positive in negative territory.  The piece focuses on “positive psychology” which emphasizes the benefits of optimism and having a positive outlook.

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I truly believe in optimism and having a positive outlook and practice cognitive psychology concepts daily. A positive attitude is only one component in your recipe for a happy, meaningful and successful life. There is another component that carries additional significance which provides the foundation for the support of your positive, optimistic outlook.

What is the one thing that will give us a reason to have an optimistic attitude and a  positive outlook every day?

Money?  Nope. Employment? Wrong again. Relationships?  People tend to disappoint us. They all help but, they come and then they sometimes disappear – at least temporarily – don’t they?

The one thing that will allow us to feel positive and optimistic on a daily basis is FAITH in God – the ultimate relationship! Once we develop this Faith, we receive the gift of Hope and eventually learn how to Love.

Are you looking for cyclical happiness – one that is based upon each day’s events and circumstances and fluctuates daily? Or do you desire a happiness that is constant, everlasting and blossoming on a daily basis?  I choose the latter please!

Faith is defined as a “Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing”. It’s also defined as a “Belief and trust in God”. The definition of Hope according to Webster’s Dictionary is “To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment”.

Faith in God and Hope for the future (everlasting life) provide us with genuine reasons for optimism each and every day of our lives.  People of Faith know that regardless of what happens today, God loves us, is watching over us and has a purpose for us while we’re on the earth.  I feel even better just saying that!

Belief and trust in God becomes significantly easier when we truly know God.

How do we get to know God?  There are several ways:  Reading God’s Word, Praying to God (talking to God), Spiritual Meditation (listening to God), serving God (sharing your gifts with others) and Worshiping God (with other believers).

In the Old Testament we learn that

“You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.” -Isaiah 26:3.

When you truly trust someone, you stop worrying.  I can’t think of anyone better to trust than God.  Can you?

In the New Testament John tells us that

“Well-formed love banishes fear.  Since fear is crippling, a fearful life-fear of death, fear of judgment- is one not yet fully formed in love.” -1 John 4:18.

He also tells us that

“Whoever accepts and trusts the Son gets in on everything, life complete and forever” John 3:36.

If I’ve been promised to have “life complete and forever”, what do I have to worry about?    Nothing! Everything else is just the “details along the way”.

Calls to action:

1. Nourish and nurture your existing Faith or set-out on a journey to develop your relationship with God.
2. Learn everything you can about positive psychology (there are two books referenced in the USA today article are Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth by Robert Biswas-Diener and Ed Diener, and Bounce: Living the REslilient Life by Robert Wicks that I recommend) and how your mind works and then use your genuine Faith in God as your foundation for your optimism and positive outlook.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope”.  Romans 15:13