About a month ago, I found out that one of the two priests from our parish was in the hospital. This particular priest is not just any priest to me.  This priest is Fr. Ouellette.

Fr. Ouellette was one of the many priests at my parish when I was a young boy.  Way back then, daily mass was said several times per day at our church and altar boys were assigned to serve at each mass.  I served with Fr. Ouellette many times at these daily masses, for funerals during the school week and at weddings over the weekend. He always treated me – any everyone else -  like gold. He was one of the most appreciative people that I’ve ever known. He taught me how to show sincere appreciation for the smallest acts of kindness shown by others.

Somewhere around 1973, the Christmas masses were so crowded that we had two midnight masses – one in the beautiful, ornate upper church and a second in the darker, dingier but, just-as-large lower church. On this particular evening, this 12-year old was sick, but still wanted the honor of serving at midnight mass (even though I was relegated to the downstairs dungeon!).  I must’ve been sicker than I thought because I fainted right in the middle of the mass.  This was not just any lazy, quiet, not-get-noticed, graceful faint either.  My entire pudgy body smashed against the kneeler and caused it to crash against the solid marble altar floor with a resounding boom!  My older brother, Bill, and  my Dad rushed up to the altar to carry me into the sacristy as Fr. Ouellette looked-on to make sure that I was okay. Fr. Ouellette followed my Dad and brother into the sacristy to make sure that I was okay before proceeding with mass.  He taught me kindness and compassion.

One of the reasons that he’s been assigned to our parish almost continuously since 1973 is that his dear Mother lived in our city.  The great part of that is that he frequently incorporated stories about his family into his homilies. He wasn’t  a boring priest who spoke in monotone about God,God,God.  He was a human who had a real family. He frequently spoke about real family responsibilities and challenges from first-hand experience. He spoke of each challenge in his life with faith in God and hope and confidence that things would always turn out well. He taught me how to honor and appreciate family-especially when things are not perfect.

The St. Vincent de Paul Society is a group within the Catholic Church that cares for the poor within the parish. Its members collect food and money from the parishioners so that they’ll be able to provide for the poor on a weekly basis throughout the entire year. Fr. Ouellette has always been our biggest ambassador and salesperson. When he speaks about a topic, he never uses notes and always speaks from his heart with tremendous passion.  He doesn’t act like he cares…he cares.  He taught me sincerity and authenticity.

When I went to visit my 83-year old friend a few weeks ago, there were signs all over the door to his hospital room. Disinfect hands before entering. Caution: Infectious matter. Put-on gloves prior to entering. Dispose of gloves before leaving room. Nurses must put on gowns prior to entering. I was afraid to go in.

Once in the room, I saw my friend in bed with visible tubes everywhere  – his nose, mouth and arms.  He was having difficulty breathing. The nurse told me that he’d been unable to eat solid food for three weeks. He looked awful. His mouth was open. His lips were chapped. His arms were badly bruised from all of the the IV’s there were inserted into his veins.  I pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed and began to pray. My mind immediately came to a standstill.  Because of his age, poor health, and the obvious pain that he was in, I wasn’t sure if I was praying for him to recover or for him to die quickly and peacefully.  After a little consideration, I proceeded to pray for about 30 uninterrupted minutes for God’s will and not mine. He was so bad that I expected any one of his gasping breaths to be his last.  I was giving up hope.

All of a sudden, the silence in the room was broken. A chipper nurse entered the room to check on his vital signs. I took that opportunity to step out of the room to give my friend some privacy. From just outside the door, I could hear the nurse wake up Fr. Ouellette and tell him that he had a guest.  When I re-entered the room, he rolled over to face me.  The man who looked like he was ready to breathe his last breath, opened his eyes and said with a top-of-the-mornin’-tone, Hello Bob. I thought that he was about to die and within a matter of a few seconds, he began engaging me in conversation just as he had since 1973. How are you? It’s so good to see you.

Although his body was failing him, his teacher’s mind was as sharp as ever.  He asked me how Virginia (my Mom) was doing.  He told me what a great man Oscar (my Dad) was.  He and my Dad both went to the same high school. He went on to compliment my wife Carolyn and say what a valuable member of the parish she’s always been (not bad for a convert!).  He praised both of my kids (again by name). He then asked me about both of my brothers and sister by name. Because each of my siblings lives out of state, he hasn’t seen any of them in years. His name recollection was better than mine and I was not currently on drugs!

A few minutes ago I was considering praying for this man to die and he’s now speaking to me with his usual compassion and the memory of a teen-ager.  What was I thinking?  God does know better than I do.

Fr. Ouellette never complained (he did mention that he missed having turkey on Thanksgiving) during either of my hospital visits. For his entire life he was grateful and appreciative. He’d been lying in bed for weeks without solid food, without the ability to say mass and his thoughts were on God’s will – not his. His thoughts were on me and my family – not himself.  He always looks out for the well-being of those around him.

That is the exact attitude that he’s been preaching from the pulpit and living in his everyday life since I’ve known him. He has an unwavering faith in God. He has trust in God. He knows that God’s will is better than his. He always talks about the importance of family. He talks about how faithful and generous his parishioners are. He makes the people around him feel good about themselves.  He knows that we all make mistakes but, we can always recover.  He always has us leaning in the right direction – towards the positive, towards the good, towards God. I learned each of these things from him.

That is the type of attitude that has made Fr. Ouellette one of my family’s favorite priests -ever!  When our parish had the luxury of having 5+ priests on staff, we’d never know which priest would be celebrating at any given liturgy.  I can remember family members returning home from church saying with pleasure and thankfulness, it was Fr. Ouellette!  It was like someone had won the lottery.  He was always the gift that was given freely.

At mass last Sunday, another dear friend, Fr. Sannella walked down the center aisle of the church, leaned over, put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, Fr. Ouellette died last night.

Although I was a little sad, a smile came to my face after a few seconds of thought.  His entire life was dedicated and focused on helping people get to where he has now taken up residence. As I said prayers that night, I knew that I was not praying for Fr. Ouellette to get into heaven. He created heaven on earth for himself by living a Christ-like life each and every day.  He brought God’s presence with him wherever he went.  He now has a permanent residence in His Father’s mansion.

A friend’s daughter just walked into the coffee shop where I’m writing today. I told the beautiful 19-year old about Fr. Ouellette. She said with a proud smile, Oh, I love him, he baptized me!

Fr. Ouellette made the world a better place because of his presence: may you and I do the same each and every day.

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My faith is based upon my unshakable belief that the Son of God came to earth 2000 years ago to show us the way to life, happiness and enlightenment. He came to bring us the knowledge of his Father in heaven and how to live whole lives that are full of love and peace. He lived along side of us to show us that we’re more than capable of living the way that he did.

He’s given us the secret sauce. All we have to do is follow the recipe.  Are you good at following a recipe or do you prefer to wing-it? I find that when I wing-it, my results are not consistently good.

He came to tell us that we were off-track. He didn’t come to reinforce the ways we were thinking and behaving, but brought us new and simple ways of thinking and living. He came to show us the path to becoming beacons of light whose love radiates throughout the world.

I was raised in a Catholic family and encouraged to live the Catholic life of attending church, praying, receiving the sacraments and serving others.  I lived at home during college and maintained these habits until graduation.

Carolyn and I got married when I was 23 and she was 20. We lived in a two bedroom condo that was on the campus where she was attending college. I don’t think that I ever entertained the thought of stopping the practices that had served me well for the first 23 years of life.

In every aspect of my life, when I learn a best-practice, I commit to adopting it and living it until I learn that there is a newer, better way of doing something.

I think that one of the problems with faith and God is that there is nothing new. It seems like God’s been around forever. Maybe if Jesus came back to earth again today, he’d be saying the exact same things but, with earbuds, jeans and sneakers instead of a robe and sandals. The message that Jesus brought thousands of years ago is 100% relevant in 2009. We either have to commit the time to learning what he said on our own or pray that a new, hip messenger will allow us to pay attention to his message and begin applying it to our lives.

Because Carolyn was a Protestant and I was a Catholic when we married, we made a decision that it would be easier to raise our future children with one faith and house of worship rather than two. Her preparation to be received into the Catholic Church caused me to deepen my faith at the same time.

As I look back, a seed was planted in me by my parents and like a seed from a mighty oak – it’s grown a little each year.  I can almost look back at the rings of annual growth in my faith like each of the visible rings in the trunk of a tree. With each passing year, the roots of my faith get deeper and the branches extend more toward the light.

Here is a high-level overview of some of the major milestones that added a new layer of growth to a faith that keeps getting stronger with each passing day:

• Faith from my parents – worship at church, prayer with meals, sacraments
• 8 years of Catholic grammar school education
• Participation in religious education classes while in high school
• Teaching religious education and confirmation preparation while a newlywed in my early twenties
• Carolyn and I were facilitators in marriage preparation programs for engaged couples for the first several years of our marriage
• Becoming a Eucharistic Minister (distribute Holy Communion at Mass and to the homebound)
• Participation in the sacraments for our two children – Baptism, Holy Communion, Reconciliation and Confirmation
• Becoming a Lector (reader of scripture at Mass)
• Studying the Bible and other faiths

While growing up in our family of six (two brothers and a sister),  participation in the practices of our faith wasn’t a choice.  It was something that was made mandatory by my parents as something that was essential to living life.  It was a requirement for my brothers, sister and I just like we were required to attend school.

This is what faith means to me at this stage of my progress:

• I believe that God created the world and is still present in all of life today.
• The spirit of God dwells within each of us. We get to decide whether or not that spirit has a leading role in our life or is an understudy who never gets on the stage,
• I believe that he sent his Son Jesus to give us the recipe for how to live life.
• I believe that we need a relationship with God just like children need their parent or guardian growing up.
• When I was growing up, my parents served as mentors – people I aspired to be like.
• As I got older, I developed mentors within the workplace and people who were best-in-class within their fields.
• Today, I use Jesus as the mentor to emulate. I base my thoughts and actions upon his words, actions and miracles.
• I believe that after Jesus spent his time on earth, he and his Father sent us the Holy Spirit to live and dwell inside each of us to assist us on a daily basis and to reinforce our faith. I know that I’m never alone. I know that the Spirit of God has made a permanent residence inside the temple of Bob.
• If I were to sum up the message that Jesus brought us in one word it would be Love. We’re called to love ourselves, love our neighbors and love our Father in heaven.
• Reading and meditating upon the New Testament allows us to fill our minds with God’s words, which reinforce His love for us and promise to always believe and trust in Him.
• The words of God give us clear advice on how to interact and establish rapport with our 6.7 billion neighbors:
• Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you
• To him who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also
• Give to everyone who begs from you
• Do so unto others as you wish they would do to you
• Do good and lend and expect nothing in return
• Show mercy to others
• Judge not, and you will not be judged
• Condemn not, and you will not be condemned
• Forgive and you will be forgiven
• Give and it will be given to you

People who take care of their bodies knows that it requires daily discipline. For many of us it includes exercise, attention to the quantity and quality of food consumed and proper amounts of sleep.  We spend a lot of time maintaining a piece of our being that will only be with us while we’re on earth.  Our bodies are the temporary dwelling places for our spirit.

When we come to the awareness that our spirit will be with us forever – long after our physical body has decided that its has given us all that it’s capable of giving – we’ll start devoting a significant amount of time to the development of our spirit and to increasing our knowledge of and relationship with God.

Enlightenment – living with the light of God within us – is supposed to happen while we’re on earth. The earlier in our life that we choose to live with and within this light, the happier our lives will be.

As this faith in God and relationship with God is developed and nourished, we come to understand that when working in alignment with God – the source of all creation – there is nothing that you and I cannot accomplish. When working alone, life can be lonely, tiring and difficult. When working in concert with God and with the divinity within us and others, we know that we’re capable of miracles. We’re never alone anymore. Even when there is no other human present, we’re confident that God is present and happily living within us at all times.

I had faith in my parents when growing up. One of my parents has since died and the other is in assisted living.  My parents did their job by giving me all of the tools required for a healthy and happy life. Thanks Mom and Dad.

I’ve had a few credible mentors along the pathway of life. Somehow, mentors give us the knowledge and tools required to progress to the next stage of our journey. Thank you to each of my mentors.

I am working on a daily basis to manifest the lessons of the ultimate mentor. Thank you for the gifts of the example of your life, words to fill my mind and spirit that nourishes my soul. You are the mentor who inspires me on a daily basis.

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Do we have to hit bottom to change?

A great friend of mine asked me that question recently.  In my typical gregarious fashion I blurted out “of course not!”.  She then responded saying that many people don’t think about change until it’s imposed upon them from the outside.

What are some examples of changes that get imposed on us from the outside that cause us to consider changing?

Sickness. It frequently takes a scare of sickness to cause some people to consider becoming proactive about care for their bodies.  There is a better way to live!

Layoff or firing. Some people don’t think about their viability in the marketplace until their job is threatened or eliminated completely.  There is a better way to live!

Separation or Divorce. Sometimes it takes the tragedy of a separation or divorce to cause a person to invest in himself and work at a marriage that has gotten old and tired. There is a better way to live!

An internal promotion opportunity or a call from a recruiter. When the phone rings with the offer to send a resume for a position at another company or when we notice an internal posting for a position within our own company we start asking the question of whether or not we should consider the new opportunity. There is a better way to live!

Promotion of another person within your department or company. We occasionally take notice of another person who may have started at our company at the same time or prior to us who is progressing faster than we are and wonder “why?”. There is a better way to live!

In each of the above examples, we are reacting to an outside influence. Except for the internal promotion or call from the recruiter, each of the instances was one of “bottoming out” like my friend mentioned to me.  We do not have to bottom out in order to contemplate changing or improving our lives.  People at every age and stage of success can develop a proactive attitude toward continuous, ongoing improvement.

Have you ever had a great mentor in your life?  For many of us, we’re very fortunate if we get one or two of them over the course of our lifetime.

Mentors are people who see the potential inside of us before we see it in ourselves.  Good mentors will speak to the people around them as if they’re already using the skill or talent or behaving in the way that they know is possible.

Parents can frequently see significant potential in their children. Good managers have the ability to identify the untapped potential in each of their employees.  If we wait for someone – parents, managers, coaches, spouses, friends, etc. – to take notice of all of our wonderful traits, skills and potential before we take any action, we may be waiting a very long time!

There is a better way to live!

The person on the planet who best knows how much potential is still unrealized inside of you and who should be most responsible for being your mentor is YOU!  The other outside counselor that I’d encourage you to seek when considering change is God.  God is the one who gave each of us our unique skills, talents and traits and knows how they can be best put to use.

One of the reasons that we wait for change to be imposed from the outside rather than proactively seeking it on a daily basis is that there is too much noise and activity in our lives that is preventing us from the silence our our own minds and hearts and from listening to God.

When we proactively take time on a daily basis to shut-off the television and computer, take out the ear buds, turn off the cell phone and iPod, we can begin to ask ourselves and God the following types of questions:

How am I doing with my life?

Why am I here?

What is my purpose?

Am I using the special skills and talents that I’ve been given?

What am I passionate about?

Who can I serve?

How is my physical health?

How is my spiritual health?

Are my thoughts loving, kind and compassionate about myself and others?

How would I rate my relationship with my partner or spouse? What can I do to improve the relationship?

How would I rate my relationship with my parents?

How would I rate my relationship with my children?

If I were living the ideal life, what would I be doing?

Don’t you get excited just thinking about the answers to those questions!  Why? Because we both know that we all have tons of potential for improvement.  Improvement – just the thought of improvement – puts a smile on our face and gets our heart pumping.

Can you imagine coming up with an answer to a couple of those questions every day and then implementing what you’ve come up with?  Wow!!!!!!

We can feel that way every day!

This is a process  to become mindful and aware about what is truly important for you during the very short time that we have in this lifetime.

You do not have to be an expert in meditation in order to begin this practice.  All you have to do is sit down in a quiet area, close your eyes, take a couple of deep cleansing breaths and contemplate any of the above questions or any other question.  Slowly repeat the question over and over for several minutes.

Allow your body and mind to become silent, relaxed and peaceful.

Before you begin your reflection time, you can say hello to God and invite God into your thoughts and prayers as a friend in your contemplation.  I think that you’ll find that with that decision making team in place – you and God – you’ll come up with phenomenal ideas for change and improvement in almost every ever area of your life.

I always know that when I give myself enough time to slow my life down and invite God into my thoughts that I’m always able to leave that contemplation time smiling and relaxed and very frequently with the answers to my biggest problems or challenges.

I just need to take the time to slow down and become silent.

The answers to ever problem, challenge or opportunity that we have can be found in the silence.  God can only be found in the silence of our hearts and minds.

Are you comfortable with shutting out the outside world and inviting God in on a daily basis?  Try it, you’ll love the results!

“Nothing in the world is difficult for those who set their mind to it.”   Taoist Master

After much consideration, outside input and one-on-one sessions with Michael Vick, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell decided in favor of Vick’s return to the league. If he’s picked-up by an NFL team, Vick could be fully reinstated by the sixth week of the upcoming NFL season and also be eligible to play in the final 2 preseason games. I am so happy for Michael, his family, his friends and the NFL.

I’ve been reading and listening as much as I possibly can about Vick’s story, his 20 month prison sentence and his 2 months of home confinement. On sports radio in Boston, many of the hosts and callers did not want Michael reinstated.  “He should be banned from the NFL forever!”  “What he did to those dogs is unforgivable!”

Why?

He was convicted of a crime and served his term. He’s been given interviews with Goodell and has convinced the commissioner that his remorse is sincere. At what point should we forgive another human being and allow that person to proceed with his or her life?

Are the people who are calling into sports radio living lives so perfect that they’ve never had to ask for forgiveness from anyone?  I absolutely love Jesus’ quote, “he who is without sin can cast the first stone.”  Can’t you just visualize the body language of the people with large rocks in their hands as they slowly bow their heads in shame and drop their rocks to the ground. Whenever I even remotely consider judging Michael or anyone else, that quote comes to mind.  Yes, I am a sinner and have been guilty of sin for my entire 47 years on the planet. Yes, I’ve had to ask for forgiveness from family, friends, customers and God.  Thankfully, most of them said the magical three words I was praying for:  “I forgive you.”

I was also very impressed with Goodell’s forecast for Vick’s future: “We are not looking for failure. We’re looking to see a young man succeed.”  Great mentors always hold a better vision for us than we hold for ourselves.  Great mentors get other people to buy into that new, stronger vision and commit to a new level of excellence. Roger Goodell can be one of Michael’s mentors as he moves forward. Goodell expects Michael to succeed. He is showing faith in Vick’s sincere remorse and his commitment to change. Faith and conviction are contagious.

Another mentor for Michael is the former coach of the Indianapolis Colts – Tony Dungy.  Tony has always come across to me as a person of strong faith who exhibits love, compassion and patience for his family, his players and for the community. Part of Dungy’s community service is to share his faith, hope and love with prisoners.  They’re a segment of society that we find very easy to hate, judge and look down upon with self-righteousness. They are a segment of society that most of us have given up on. Tony hasn’t. He’s there to provide them with hope in the present and for the future. Tony has tremendous credibility because he’s successfully coached, mentored and trained some of the best athletes on the planet with his proven formula for success.  He’s capable of giving that same formula to prisoners and to Michael Vick, and inspiring stellar results.

One of the reasons we don’t feel compassion and forgiveness towards others is that many of us aren’t that great at providing compassion and forgiveness to ourselves. We keep beating ourselves up over mistakes we’ve made in the past. At what point is it okay to forgive ourselves?

I know that God forgives me for my sins. If God will forgive me then, I should be willing to forgive myself and proceed with my life free from guilt.  Once I get comfortable forgiving myself, it makes it much easier to forgive Michael Vick, and family members and friends who have somehow offended us.

God doesn’t give upon us until we give up on ourselves!

Goodell has shown compassion and forgiven Michael Vick.  Let’s make forgiveness contagious. Who should you forgive today?

Dungy is going to mentor Michael Vick. Who could use your mentoring today?