I went through my usual Saturday morning ritual of paying bills and going to the bank and spoke with my dear friend Dreana who called to check-in on my recovery. I told her I was doing great and that Carolyn and I would love to have dinner with she and Greg  that evening. Carolyn and I then went to our favorite vegetarian restaurant for lunch -  Life Alive – as we do each and every Saturday.  Ahhhh, finally my life is completely back to normal.  Or so I thought.

After lunch, Carolyn and I went back home where I learned about one of the side effects of Oxycodone- constipation.  This was another first for me. I’ve been on the planet for 48.5 years and had never experienced this problem before.  The prior day I had the painful choice of To Pee or Not to Pee.  Today, I learned the second verse to the song -To Poo or Not to Poo. Dreana called to confirm dinner during this painful episode.  Funny, but I was not in the mood for eating. We postponed our dinner with friends to another day. On that day I learned to appreciate another one of life’s simple pleasures that I always take for granted.  Prayer played a significant role during that process too.

On Sunday morning, less than 48 hours after surgery I was back at the gym and on an elliptical machine.  It felt great to exercise after being idle for two days, even if I was only working out at about 70%-80% of my normal level. Routines – when they’re healthy routines that contribute to the happiness of yourself and others – are wonderful!

On Monday, I jumped on a plane and headed to San Jose feeling great. I knew that heading into the surgery at a very high level of health would allow me to recover very quickly and get on with life.

Upon my return from San Jose, I’ll meet with the urologist to determine how I’m going to deal with the remaining kidney stones and how to prevent future stones from forming- if that’s even possible. I have a strong feeling that there will be modifications coming to my already very clean diet.

We can and should try to do everything to the best of our capabilities to prevent disease – regular exercise, healthy eating, proper amounts of rest – but even then there are no guarantees. Once we identify a problem, we can maintain the activities and habits that are serving us, eliminate the ones that are causing problems and replace them with new habits.

Change is constant.  We’re constantly making modifications that will bring us closer to our ideal. Our goal is to maintain a healthy body, a positive mind and a peaceful, loving soul. Every day is an opportunity for us to make progress in all three areas.

If I didn’t know it well enough before, this episode has reinforced my desire to cherish today, love to the best of my capabilities today and be grateful for each of life’s simple pleasures.

The next thing I knew, David, the orderly, came into our room with a rolling bed and asked me to jump-on so that we could head to the operating room. Showtime! Outside the operating room, I had fun with the anesthesiologist who was surprised at several of his observations: 1) the fact that I wasn’t on any medication, 2) my exceptionally low blood pressure and 3) that I had never had any prior surgery.  The medical community is not used to dealing with proactive people who are in relatively good health.

While waiting to go in for the surgery after speaking with the operating room nurse, I had another opportunity for prayer.  I’ve learned to pray for God’s will instead of my will or my desires.  I now know that each thing that occurs in my life will somehow bring me closer to God – even if it’s painful.  My prayers are always answered even if I don’t like the answer.

My body must have taken very well to the anesthesia because the last thing that I remember is being rolled into the operating room.  I never saw my surgeon in the operating room. I don’t remember counting backwards from 100. I have zero recollection. The next thing that I remember is waking up in the recovery room feeling unbelievably happy. Was it the medication or the joy of being conscious and back in this world again? It think that is was a little of both, but mostly the latter.

My sense of joy was tempered by the fact that I had an overwhelming desire to urinate. So much for being in that state of bliss for very long.  I asked the nurse if she could take me to a bathroom.  She responded by saying  that she had a few things to do and that she would wheel me back up to my room as soon as she finished. That sounded to me like I might have a little wait on my hands – or lower.  Could I wait?  Once I arrived in my room, I was greeted by my wife who looked relaxed and beautiful as she sat reading a magazine. I think that she really enjoyed 3/4 of a day of uninterrupted silence at home without her loud husband coming into the kitchen every couple of hours for hugs, kisses or conversation.  After a very quick “hello” to my wife, I asked the nurse if I could please visit the bathroom.

What I had anticipated as being a moment of tremendous relief turned out to be a time of equally tremendous pain. In order to remove the kidney stone from the bladder, the surgeon goes in and removes it without making an incision.  That’s my best clinical language for saying that they go in through the penis when operating on a male (sorry to share that disgustingly graphic factoid!) The pain and burning associated with trying to urinate was now balanced by the tremendous urge to purge.  To Pee or Not to Pee, became the question of the moment.  Which is the lesser of the two pains?

After that awful experience in the bathroom, I got dressed and went back out with my wife while waiting to be discharged from the day-surgery.  While sitting there, the pain in my back and abdomen (similar to the kidney stone pain) came on in full force.  The nurse then mentioned that I could have an Oxycodone (for the pain) and that I could pick up  some pills if I was experiencing any burning sensation while urinating. I knew for the first time in my life what real pain felt like and  how much I desired both of those medications. The nurse gave me one Oxycodone at the hospital which seemed to do nothing to alleviate the pain and I impatiently waited alone at home while my wife went to conduct  the drug deal at the pharmacy.

The second Oxycodone significantly helped with the pain and I finally felt well enough to eat and drink for the first time after 20 hours of fasting at about 8PM.  I really like eating!

Talk about life’s simple pleasures.  I was ecstatic to be sitting at our kitchen counter eating two of my son’s frozen Eggo waffles with fresh blueberries and for the ability to be able to go to the bathroom with a little less pain. Thank you drugs. Thank you Carolyn. Thank you God!

After a great night’s rest, I was up at the crack of dawn thankful to be back into the old routine – meditation, reading of scripture, affirmations and breakfast- and off of the Oxycodone!!!!!  I even thought about going to the gym, but the nurse asked me to wait until Sunday. Life is good!

More to come!

The following day at about 10AM, I received a call on my cell phone from the urologist stating that I had a large kidney stone in my bladder that needed to be removed quickly and several smaller ones in my left kidney.  It was Thursday  morning and I was jumping on another plane on Monday afternoon for a speaking engagement in San Jose.  I could either have the surgery on Friday and risk not recovering well enough for my flight on Monday or put-off the surgery for a few weeks and hope that I didn’t have any more mobile rolling stones while traveling for the next two weeks. Isn’t there a third option?

I made the decision while on the phone with the urologist to have the large stone removed the following morning at 11:30AM. Although the doctor wanted me to have the surgery, he was very concerned about my ability to be ready to fly 74 hours after surgery.  I was counting on the fact that my healthy body and mind would allow me to recover much quicker than the patients that he was accustomed to treating.  I was hoping and praying that the years of daily exercise, clean eating, positive thinking and a lifetime of faith would pay dividends at this time.

Going in for surgery is a religious experience for at least two reasons: The first reason is that you have to fast (no food, no water, no nothing!) from midnight the night before the surgery and the second is that times of sickness or fear cause us to reach out to God for help.  When things in our lives are going well, we may not always spend a lot of time in prayer, thanks or conversation with God.  When sickness, or loss-of-job or some other catastrophe causes us to slow down, we somehow end up filling some of  that time with prayer.

I had planned on a little reading and some additional prayer during the two-hour span between my arrival at the hospital and the surgery.  I ended-up sharing a room with a wonderful man named Bill who was having surgery that morning to make sure that his cancer surgery two months prior had removed all of the cancerous cells.  Bill wanted to talk.  I’m glad that he did.  Usually when our plans are altered by an outside influence, the new event is much better for our souls than the originally planned activity.

More to come!

While my wife and 3 of our friends were trying to make dessert selections at a restaurant while celebrating my wife’s birthday on May 1st, I quietly squirmed in my chair in pain.  The pain in my lower left back came on quickly and intensified to the point that I excused myself from the table and went outside.  Stretching didn’t help. Standing up didn’t help. Fresh air didn’t help. Help!

Was it the worst case of stomach gas ever?

After leaving the restaurant, my wife gave me a Tylenol as I fidgeted in the passenger’s seat on the drive home while unsuccessfully trying to find a comfortable position.  The Tylenol seemed to help as I was pretty much out of pain by bedtime. I wonder what I ate that caused that to happen?

On May 17th while flying home from London on an eight-hour flight, it happened again. This time I was on a packed plane sitting in coach with very little room to roam, stretch or lay down. After somehow making my way through the long flight, I was very happy to get into my car at the airport knowing that I’d finally be home in 35 minutes.  I got onto route 93 heading north on what should’ve been an empty highway and saw nothing but red lights – night time construction! There was not supposed to be traffic at this time of the night – it was 8PM! For the next 75 minutes, I tried to find a sitting position that would allow me to safely drive in the stop-and-go traffic and manage the excruciating pain. As soon as I got home and Carolyn saw me on the couch rolling around, she brought  me some Tylenol. This time the Tylenol didn’t help at all and I stayed in pain for about 18 hours. Was it something I ate again?

Because I had only experienced the pain twice and had not had any symptoms in over a month, I hesitated to mention the symptoms to my doctor during my annual physical on June 21st. Carolyn had reminded me to bring it up and I didn’t want to go home and have to face her and tell her that I didn’t ask the doctor about it. So, I brought it up during the physical in an oh, by the way fashion. Just to be safe, my always thorough and cautious doctor scheduled an ultrasound of my left kidney for the following week.

I knew it wasn’t great news when the person who conducted the ultrasound at the hospital asked me to wait in the room while she phoned my doctor. Over the next 8 hours, I went from the hospital, back to my doctor, off to the urologist and then back to the hospital for a CAT scan.  They could tell from the ultrasound that I had dark spots in the kidney that didn’t belong there, but the urologist needed the Nuclear CAT scan to tell him exactly what he was dealing with. I was less-than-thrilled to have radiation injected into my bloodstream.

Eat organic food. Exercise daily. Drink spring water. Inject body with radiation. Which one of these doesn’t belong?

More to come!

A friend recently told me about her financial advisor who always responds to the “How are you doing?” question by saying, “Livin’ the dream, livin’ the dream.”  She said that his response is always oozing with cynicism.

Her comments brought a smile of recognition to my face as I thought about a particular friend at the gym who responds to the same question with, “Just another day in paradise” with the same cynical tone.

It sounds like in both cases the individuals are going through life’s motions, but not enjoying the ride.  They’re pushing themselves through another joyless day. They’re not able to savor each of life’s precious moments. How sad.

Why are so many of us unhappy with our lives and unable to see our way through the sadness?

I think that it’s because we find ourselves in situations – careers/jobs, relationships, lack of relationships, addictions to food, alcohol or drugs – and feel like we’re stuck.  We feel like we have to stay in this situation forever.  We’re feeling hopeless. We’re feeling like we’ve dug a very big hole and we no longer have the energy or know-how to climb out.

We’ve all felt that way at some point over the course of our lifetime.

What’s gotten many of through these predicaments in the past?  Some of us have faith in ourselves and our ability to persevere. We can have a difficult morning, day or weekend, but we’ll eventually pull ourselves out of the rut and move on. 

Others have a strong faith in God and believe that God  is always listening to us and responding to our prayers – even when we don’t get what we’re praying for!!! We believe that we’re getting exactly what we need in response to each prayer in order grow, evolve and maximize our potential.  We believe that there is no problem that cannot be overcome with faith in God.

Tough jobs, difficult relationships, physical sickness and all of life’s difficulties are opportunities for us to develop resiliency and faith. Situations like these cause us to slow down, listen to our souls, pray and contemplate change.  We want to change because we realize that something is just not right.  It’s time for a chiropractic adjustment of our life so that it’s in alignment with our soul.

If you’ve felt this way lately or are feeling this way today, try looking upon your current situation as a blessing – as grace from God.  Try to figure out what good can possibly come from this situation.  Something good results from every situation when you’re looking for the good and for the opportunity to learn.  Ask yourself, “what message is this obstacle asking me to listen to so that I can learn and make the necessary modifications to how I’m living my life?”

Realize that you’ve been presented with an obstacle – a gift -  that you’re capable of solving.  It’s going to cause you to think. It’s going to cause you to get creative. It may cause you to go silent and listen to your soul. It may bring you to your knees in prayer.

It may be calling you to release whatever it is that you’re holding onto that is causing you to feel angry or sad and refocus your life on your special mission or purpose.

The result of your contemplation and prayers will be a decision for you to make changes in one or several aspects of your life.  It may be a new job or vocation. It might be a new way of caring for your  physical health. It might be to seek counseling to repair a relationship.

You are capable of bringing joy and happiness into your life.  When you slow down and listen to yourself and listen to God, you’ll remember why you’re here and what you’re supposed to be feeling – love.  We are love. When we’re not feeling that way, we understand that we’ve somehow alienated ourselves from our core identity.

In the future when you respond to the question, “How are you doing?”, make sure that your response is authentically happy because you realize that each day is a gift and a blessing and that you’re committed to living each day in alignment with your highest self.  We’re called to be genuinely Livin’ the dream!

I was awakened last night at 11:56PM by flashing lights and loud trucks in the street in front of our home. There was the sound of spraying going on and off in a staccato-accented cadence. It took me a few seconds to figure out that the Department of Public Works was spray painting new lines on the road to give drivers clear visuals to safely guide them on their journeys.

A little annoyed at being awakened in the middle of the night I wondered, “Why are they doing this at midnight?” And then very quickly it dawned on me that night time is the best time for street painting because the roads are practically empty. It’s easy to paint when the streets are a blank canvas and when cars will not run over the wet paint causing it to streak and create errant marks on the road.

Thinking about the lines being painted when the streets are quiet and empty caused me to contemplate the parallels to meditation. Meditation is the silencing of our minds from all of the congestion of loud thoughts that clog and bombard our neural pathways. It is the act of deliberately slowing or silencing of our thoughts so that we can listen to God’s thoughts. When our minds are full of noise, traffic and congestion, it’s impossible for us to hear our intuition. We can’t listen to our soul speak to us when its’ voice is being drowned out by the sound of our screaming egos and incessant external noise.

Public works workers know that it’s easiest to create new fresh lines and landmarks to point us in the right direction when the streets and highways are empty and quiet. The same thing is true with our minds. By deliberately taking time to silence our thoughts at a time and in a place where there is solitude, we’re able to hear the tranquil voice of our soul.

If you’re feeling stressed, tired or out of control, begin the practice of silencing your thoughts – meditation- on a daily basis. It’s one of the best ways to improve our mental, spiritual and physical health and to be sure that our lives have purpose and direction that are aligned with our soul.

The answers to every major question you’re asking yourself exist deep within your soul. Give yourself the gift of silence on a daily basis so that you can listen to the answers. The clarity you receive will be like painting fresh, bright guiding lines in your mind and soul every single day.

Serenity comes from within.  External solutions to our problems only offer temporary solutions.

Recent college graduates with large loans to repay are desperately trying to find work and quickly losing hope.

Highly successful professionals are having trouble sleeping as the stress from being unemployed for several months is mounting at a time when their spouses are worried about losing everything – including their homes.

Financial planners are dealing with unprecedented anxiety resulting from the hostility coming their way from their normally sane clients who are irate over losses in net worth.

There are many ways of dealing with stress.

Exercise is great for temporarily reducing stress because it allows us to take our minds off of problems while getting our heart rates elevated and sweating out toxins.  Some of my best ideas are created while at the gym exercising and mentally preparing for the days, weeks and months ahead.  If I could exercise all day, I might be able to permanently eliminate fear.

Recitation of affirmations (statements of fact or belief) is another great habit because it allows us to fill our minds with the kinds of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. The repetition of our goals in present tense, sentences full of emotion enables us to create behaviors and attitudes that will become  2nd nature to us.  When these affirmations are only based upon our goals and our ideas only, the mind of God is separated from our own minds.

If you’re exercising and reciting affirmations on a daily basis, you are already in the habit of proactively taking care of your body and mind.  Congratulations!

There is another habit that I’d like to introduce to you if it’s not already part of your daily routine.  I’d like to encourage you to begin the practice of daily meditation as part of your proactive health. This is a practice that positively impacts your body, mind and spirit.

Meditation is the practice of silencing each of the 60,000+ thoughts per day that we engage in long enough to listen to ourselves – our divinity within.  Meditation allows us to relax our bodies while we’re focusing or silencing our minds.  Deep, slow breaths begin the process of slowing down and becoming comfortable with ourselves and with the solitude.

You can meditate in many different positions. You can meditate while walking or exercising.  When meditating in the silence of your home, it can be done in the lotus position with a little practice.  I will frequently stop my work day and meditate while sitting in my chair in front of my desk for 5-10 minutes.  You can also meditate while lying on a couch or in bed as long as you’re not so tired that you’ll fall asleep!

The practice of daily meditation allows us to answer meaning-of-life questions such as:

Who am I? Why am I here? What do I want?
Where am I going? Where did I come from?

Meditation is starting to become part of our culture in the west, but is nowhere near as popular as it should be. Many of us today are absent of silence except when we’re sleeping. We wake up to the sound of the radio or iPod.  The radio or television is on while where preparing for work or school.  The radio or iPod is on while we’re driving or commuting. The computer is mesmerizing us for 8+hours per day at work or school. Those of us who aren’t married to the computer are either in meetings or conference calls throughout the day or having an affair with our Blackberrys and iPods. After work, it’s radio in the car, iPod while at the gym and television during dinner and then back on the computer or television until it’s time for sleep.

Do you ever allow yourself the luxury of silence?  Do you ever allow yourself to slow down and become silent enough to pay attention to your breath or pulse?  Have you ever slowed down long enough to answer the 5 questions above?

There are several different types of meditation.  Some meditations involve focusing  our thoughts by paying attention to our breath. When first meditating, we have to get used to the habit of not thinking.  The Buddhists call a mind that is jumping haphazardly from one subject to the next like a monkey swinging from branch to branch a monkey’s mind. By practicing focusing on an object such as a candle flame, light or object or paying attention to our breath (deep and slow versus shallow and fast), we become aware of the art of focus or mindfulness.

One of the meditations that I gravitated to when I was new to meditation and have maintained involves Buddhist prayers for self and others.  I use this meditation as a process for praying for specific individuals in my life who have either asked for my prayers or desperately need them.  While sitting or lying in silence I think of the individual and silently pray, “May you be happy, may you be peaceful, may you be free from suffering.” It’s also an excellent individual prayer.  With eyes closed after taking several deep, slow cleansing breaths, I repeat: “May I be happy, may I be peaceful, may I be free from suffering.”

This particular style of meditation really helped me to grow in the art of unconditional love. It’s easy praying for people that you know and love.  It’s still pretty easy praying for people we feel neutral about – someone from work, church or the gym – that need our prayers.  Buddhists would have us feeling unconditional love towards everyone – even people who have hurt us mentally or physically.

This prayer meditation allows us to pray for ourselves, individuals who fall into all 3 categories (people we already love, people we feel neutral about and people who we find it very difficult to love – sometimes called hatred) and for entire groups of people.  Can you imagine unconditionally loving every human in the world – starting with yourself?  Baby steps…

Another style of meditation involves the repetition of a word or phrase.  You can repeat words or phrases such as:

Love is the answer | Peace is within me | Patience | Don’t worry, be happy

There are meditations that allow you to meditate while walking or exercising. I’ve used the walking meditations while on an elliptical machine at the gym and been amazed at how fast the workout goes by as I’m lost within my deliberately focused mind.

One of the ways that I’ve been very successful using meditation is to slow down and relax my mind and body enough to be able to fall back to sleep in the middle of the night.  By the time I get to bed at night, I’m usually so exhausted that it’s very easy for me to fall asleep. Frequently, I’ll wake-up in the middle of the night on my own or as a result of an elbow (intentional?) from my wife.  Once I wake up, my mind frequently starts working and racing.  When it’s still too early for me to get up, I implement a meditation that allows me to relax my body beginning with my feet and then working my way up to my head.  I can’t tell you how much that practice has helped me to make sure that I’m getting enough sleep. Prior to implementing the practice of meditating to fall back to sleep, I’d frequently get up and begin my workday at 1, 2 or 3AM rather than stay in bed fidgeting and disturbing my wife.

I first began the practice of meditating after reading the book Eat, Pray, Love. My initial intention was to develop a deeper relationship with God. From reading that book and several others, I became aware that God is found in the silence of our minds. It’s our absence of thoughts that allows us to create room for God. It’s hard to listen to God when there is always loud, external stimulation present. My goal was to silence my ego enough to eliminate my thoughts and listen to God’s. Because I was guilty of the non-stop lifestyle that I mentioned earlier, I wanted to develop the habit of being able to listen to myself and to God. I realized that because I was always doing something, listening to something or saying something (even if it was prayer), I was never just being or listening. I was always doing.

Could my prayers be better if I slowed down long enough to listen for answers?

Would I be able to better deal with all that was going on in my world if I deliberately asked God to be with me in specially carved time for silence and co-creation?

Could I use meditation to really focus on words of scripture to understand the true meaning of words that I professed to be the foundation of my faith?

I mentioned students, executives and financial planners as real examples of people who are living with fear – fear of not getting the first job, fear of not getting a new job, fear of losing people’s hard earned retirement savings.  I’d recommend meditating on components of scripture such as the following verse: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.  For fear has to do with punishment, and he who fears is not perfected in love.”

What could the meditation be for each of us to eliminate fear from our lives?  “Dear God, fill me with your love and eliminate my fear” or “God, I love you and trust you”.

If you’re experiencing fear in any aspect of your life, you can begin meditating this instant by simply doing the following:

• Go someplace that is quiet – office, bedroom, conference room, car, etc.
• Either lay down or sit comfortably in a chair with good posture
• Close your eyes and take several slow, deep breaths while allowing yourself to focus on your breath
• Once you’ve slowed yourself down and relaxed, simply repeat the phrase or mantra of choice such as “God, I love you and trust you”.
• Repeat your prayer or mantra slowly several times for at least five minutes
• Over time, you’ll become comfortable meditating for longer periods of time.

A close friend of mine recently told me that she felt guilty taking the time to meditate. I am convinced that it’s our absence of time caring for ourselves and divorcing ourselves from God that has caused many of our physical, mental and spiritual problems.

Our fullness and completeness comes from our relationship with God. The emptiness that we feel inside us and in our lives is created by the space where God is supposed to reside.  When we allow God’s words to infiltrate our minds and his Spirit to reside in our souls, we begin to develop trust in God and ourselves.  We are filled with love for God, love for ourselves and love for others.  The love that fills our minds and souls pushes out the fear that used to occupy that space.

Allocating time to meditate on a daily basis is an investment in your mental, physical and spiritual health.

Meditation allows us to become comfortable enough with ourselves to slow down, focus and listen to our own thoughts on a daily basis.  If you have the desire to incorporate spirituality into your meditation, this will become part of your daily practice to improve your relationship with God and proceed toward enlightenment.  Meditating is a practice that complements prayer, reading of scripture, serving others and group worship.

Making time to listen and co-create is yet another way of inviting God into your life each and every day.

Listen to this post!
 

Listen to this post!
 

Fearful.  Lacking in trust. Worried. Who experiences these feelings?

The homeless | The middle class | The upper class

These feelings exist in the void that is created when we distance ourselves from God. To be even more specific, these feelings manifest themselves when God’s words of trust and love are not on the top of our minds and tips of our tongues and when God’s spirit is not running through our veins.  The God gap gets filled-in with fear, worry, mistrust and other destructive emotions.

We can be good without God in our minds and spirit in our soul. My mission is to let every person in the world know how the invitation of God into our minds and souls will take us from simply good to great.

When it’s cold outside, we rush toward the heat of a fireplace, space heater or warm room.

When it’s late at night and we’re alone in an area that appears to be dangerous, we scamper as quickly as possible to the safety of our automobiles.

When we or someone from our family is in trouble, we rush back to the security of the outstretched arms of our loved ones.

We’re always seeking something outside of us when all of the everlasting answers come from our divinity within.

There are plenty of things in the material world to worry about- financial security (money), job security, war (personal security), security in personal relationships, etc. These are the realities that we’re dealing with on a daily basis.

Is it possible to eliminate our fear, distrust and worry? Yes, but it takes diligence and commitment on our part.

The answer to our insecurity is to invite God’s security into our being. It’s a transformation from in-secure to secure-in.

I spoke with a business friend yesterday who I had the pleasure of meeting within the last year.  When we met, he was participating in a program that I was delivering for his company. During each of the two days of training, he and I ran-into each other in the hotel gym at about 5AM each morning. Because we were both working in a location outside of our home time zones, I was impressed with his commitment to his health routine.

I conducted another program for his company in October at a hotel in another different time zone.  Any guess who I saw at the gym at 5AM that morning?  Yes, he’s still committed to his exercise habit and still looking exceptionally healthy.

During our telephone conversation, I learned that in the very short period of time at his new company, he’s become one of the top producers . I also learned that this very healthy, top-of-the class performer is worried about his job, his relationship with his manager, his relationship with his wife and his uncertain future.

At the end of our conversation, he asked me if during our next conversation we could discuss any ideas that I might have to help him with the distrust, fear and worry challenges that he’s facing.  I didn’t know when or if we were going to speak again and this was way too important to let go so, I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer and dug down deep to figure out how to broach this subject.

I asked him a question that doesn’t tend to come up in most people’s every day conversations.  “Are you a person of faith?”, was my question.

I could hear a lot of myself and some of my other friends in his response.  He said, “My mother raised me Catholic and sent me to Catholic school. For various reasons,  it’s currently not a big part of my life.”

His various reasons were very real and very common:

• Disgust over the sexual scandal within the Catholic Church
• Frustration with local parish priests that are old, aren’t that charismatic, who don’t inspire and who don’t resonate as well with his young daughters
• Felt a little “out-of-touch” with the larger, non-denominational Christian Churches they had visited

He then said something else that I hear frequently.  “I live within driving distance of a beautiful mountain range. Can’t I just go out and pray or meditate or read scripture in the beauty of nature?”  The answer is yes.  We can pray and meditate and read scripture anywhere. But, unless we’re intentional about it, most of us don’t make it part of our daily practice – part of our routine.

I shared with my friend that my faith is the foundation that allows me to remain serene (most of the time) while dealing with life’s typical trials – money, relationship issues, family problems, unresponsive customers and prospects, worries about war and the economy, etc.

Faith that God is with us every second of every day in each of your thoughts and actions allows us to effectively  stay in a place of love, patience and kindness when what’s going on outside is anything but.  This deep-rooted faith is a result of inviting God to be a part of our entire life – the good, the bad, the happy, the sad.

Faith allows us to know that there isn’t any financial, relationship, career or any other problem that is too big for the combined consciousness of you and God.

One of the lines from scripture that recently touched me enough to write down on a 3 X 5 index card and carry with me so that I can memorize is, “Blessed is the man who endures trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life which God has promised to those who love him.”

Promises like this from the God that I know and love provide me with tremendous amounts of stamina, endurance and patience when things get tough.

Hearing words like this is good.

Writing them down to help reinforce them is better.

Internalizing them so that they are a part of who you are is best.

Because my friend had a fundamental knowledge of his faith, my few sentences of encouragement offered in response to his question were well received.

I then offered a suggestion that also made sense to him.  Make your relationship with God – the divinity within you -  a part of your daily life the way that you make your health part of your routine. I mentioned to him that I had purchased a 20-minute per day Bible that gives me the ability to read the Bible in its’ entirety within 365 days.  He quickly embraced the idea because he knows that he – like every person on the planet – has at least 20 minutes per day to allocate to something that he thinks is important.

He quickly asked me if he could purchase one at BarnesandNoble.com. I said “yes” unless, you’d prefer to buy one today from a local retail store. He’s going to welcome the word of God into his life on a daily basis starting today. I think that his plan is to allocate about 20-30 minutes before or after his exercise routine.

The key word is routine.  Relationships that we care about require daily nurturing.

When these words become imprinted in his mind, I know that over time his feelings of worry, fear and mistrust will melt away and be transformed into God-like feelings of love, understanding, trust and compassion.

Love God, love yourself and it becomes very easy to love others.

Trust God, trust yourself and it becomes very easy to trust others.

Develop Faith in God, faith in yourself that’s in alignment with God and it becomes easy to have faith in and expect the best from others.

Conscious of God, Conscious of divinity within, Conscious of divinity within others.

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This weekend, I attended a wake and funeral for a long-time friend’s Dad. Funerals and wakes are great places of unity because people of all backgrounds, faiths and incomes come together in one place to pray for and respect the deceased and to support those who are living.

Because the services were on Cape Cod in Massachusetts (about 2 hours from my home), I had the chance to spend Friday afternoon and evening after the wake and Saturday morning prior to the funeral with my in-laws.  During several hours of conversation over dinner, they asked me about one of my recent posts about Unity Consciousness. When I started engaging them on this topic, it brought back memories from 26 years ago for the three of us.

That was when I asked their daughter to marry me.  They were petrified because their 20-year-old Congregationalist (Protestant denomination) daughter was engaged to a 23-year-old Catholic. Beyond the usual parental sentiment that no one would ever be good enough for their daughter, my in-laws had several fears based on this inter-faith match:

• Catholicism teaches that our faith is the right faith and everyone else’s is wrong. | Fear #1: we would be married in a Catholic church and they would feel uncomfortable to the point of not attending their own daughter’s wedding.
• Catholics have traditionally not treated Protestants well. | Fear #2: my future bride would not be seen by me and my family as an equal in our marriage because she didn’t share our faith.
• Catholicism teaches against birth control. | Fear #3: Carolyn would become pregnant and be unable to earn her college degree and unable to support the baby should we get divorced.

I give you that background because fear is a very strong emotion that gets in the way of our ability to love and our ability to learn. Fear frequently puts up an artificial barrier which prevents us from hearing, seeing and learning the truth.  Fear inhibits our senses and ability to receive new, helpful and valuable information (fear causes us to act sense-less).

A natural instinct for many of us is to focus on the differences which exist between people rather than focus on and appreciate all that we have in common. After 25 years of marriage, my in-laws and I laugh at the fear that wasn’t funny for any of us at the time. Not only do we attend each other’s church services when visiting each other, my fantastic father-in-law sings with our choir on Christmas eve each year.  Each of the fears has been transformed into tremendous love and understanding.

My basic definition of Unity Consciousness is an awareness that each person in the world is our brother and sister and is connected to us and to God by the spirit of God that resides in each of us.

Each of us was born innocent and good.  For a variety of external reasons, some of us have turned away from good and hold bitterness, hatred and fear in our minds and souls. Ignorance, hatred and fear are signs of an absence of God.

An awareness of Unity Consciousness, allows us to look at each person with God-sense.  God-sense is perceiving humans with God’s senses of love, understanding and compassion.

It’s through a conversion of mind and soul that disenfranchised people will come together and live in happiness and peace with all humans.

As I began thinking about states of mind and faith that each of the 6.7 billion people in the world might fall into, I came up with the following categories:

People of differing faiths who believe in God, whatever his name may be

People of differing faiths who don’t believe in a God, but practice actions that are similar: love, compassion, wisdom

People who were raised within a faith community who do not make their faith – God or Spirituality – a part of their daily lives

People who have been raised without any practical knowledge of God, spirituality or religion

In my opinion, there is a huge overlap between the first two categories. What I mean by that is people of faith – whether they worship a God or not – display many of the same characteristics.  The faith that they follow allows them to pursue a life that is led with love, compassion, wisdom and a pursuit of peace (internal first, external after that).

Are there gaps that exist between different faiths? Yes.

Are the gaps easily filled in as a result of conversation and understanding? Yes.

Can each of us learn from faiths that are different than ours? Yes - once we are open to expansion of thought.

In every relationship that we have, we have to choose whether we want to focus on all that we have in common and on all of the good that exists within the other person or whether we’d like to focus on the thing(s) that we don’t have in common or that we don’t like about this individual.

If we chose to distance ourselves from people who are different than we are or from people who display traits that we don’t find attractive, we’d all be hermits. When we choose to focus on all things that unite us, we’re able to surround ourselves with friends from every nation, faith and socio-economic class. We become full of love and compassion and absent of fear.

The third and fourth categories have much in common too. These two categories also have people with gaps in their potential. In these cases, the gaps exist because of religion gone bad or because of a gap in knowledge – education.

I define religion gone bad as when an individual becomes turned-off to faith because of an interaction or incident with a relative (parent, grandparent, sibling), or clergy that has caused them to divorce themselves from that faith, and frequently from all organized religion.

I love this passage from James (1:27): Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. Religion in and of itself is good. It can be abused and misused by people.  The tongue is a very useful and helpful body part.  It too can be misused and become an instrument that harms rather than heals.  I choose to keep religion and my tongue but, endeavor to use both as tools of love and peace.

I would say that the gaps in knowledge that exist in each of us can be easily filled-in with education. When one becomes exposed to the words of Jesus by reading the new testament or to Buddhism by reading the writings of the Dalai Lama, how could anyone not embrace these ways of thinking, acting and living?

Until each of us reaches perfection and comes into perfect truth, fullness and knowledge of God, gaps exist in each of us. Those gaps are filled through a daily practice that is designed to close the gaps (distance) that exist between us and God.

Buddhists have created the antidotes to the afflictive emotions of lust, hatred and ignorance.  The antidotes are love, compassion and wisdom.

Enlightenment comes as a result of a daily pursuit of faith, hope, love and knowledge.  It comes to us via prayer, meditation, reading, service to others and worship. It’s an environment where everyone is welcomed and appreciated. The more that we serve God and others and come to understand God and others, the more we come to know and understand ourselves.

At wakes and funerals, everyone is welcomed and appreciated. They are a time to focus on our spiritual life on earth and our spiritual life after the death of our earthly bodies. We go to wakes and funerals out of service to others and end up reflecting on our own lives and our own spirituality.

Unity Consciousness is our united relationship with God and with all humans.

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Have you ever felt disappointed or discouraged? We all have. Was it disappointment in yourself or was it disappointment in something or someone external to you? Let’s see if we can differentiate between the two.

One of my favorite definitions of disappointment is, “It’s when I had an appointment with myself that I failed to keep.”

I frequently ask groups of people that I’m speaking with “Are people more likely to keep commitments that they make to others or to themselves”? The almost unanimous answer that I receive is that most people are more likely to keep commitments that they make to another person than the commitments that they make to themselves.

Is that because we tend to love others more than we love ourselves? Is it because I don’t want to disappoint you but, I’m okay disappointing myself?

Love your neighbor, love yourself, love your God.  Sometimes we forget the one in the middle!

The official Webster’s II definition of disappoint is, “To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of. To Frustrate.”

The Webster’s II definition of discourage is, “To deprive of confidence, hope or spirit”.

Now that we’ve officially defined the meanings of the feelings of discouraged and disappointed, we can now talk about why we feel that way and how to limit those feelings in the future.

When a baby is born, that child gives great joy to everyone around because it is just being itself.  Babies don’t yet have roles and responsibilities such as mother, father, manager, daughter, son, employer, employee, provider, etc.  As we grow up, roles are either assigned to us by parents, coaches and teachers or taken on by us willingly.

Babies have the ability to bring us joy by simply being with us. We are moved to smile by their cooing, by their drool, by their beautiful eyes and by their smile.  How can they bring us so much joy without the ability to say a single word or do anything for us?

Did you ever notice how happy we are just being in silence with them?

I think that we tend to look at babies as special gifts from God who have this perfect, beautiful spirit about them. That’s because they do.  You and I do too. We are Perfect Spirits.

I wonder if you and I could begin looking at ourselves in the same way that we look at these beautiful little innocent babies?  That’s how our parents and God looked at us when we were born. I believe that’s how God still looks at us today.

“I am a Perfect Spirit.” Try saying that several times a day.  See how long it will take for you to believe it!

The Spirit that dwells in each of us is hungry to be fueled and ignited by our connection to God.  It is our relationship with, connection to and understanding of God that allows us to nurture and develop our Spirit.

We feel a special connection to an infant when we simply hold that child in our arms in silence. We feel that same connection to God when we slow down enough and become silent enough to allow God to hold us and embrace us with the same kind of unconditional love.

Can you and I begin looking at ourselves as beautiful, innocent Perfect Spirits who were created in the image and likeness of God’s Spirit?  Can we acknowledge that we too can bring tremendous pleasure to everyone around us by simply just being present and smiling and listening?

You are lovable just by being you. You don’t need any material possessions to make you lovable. You were lovable at birth, you’ll be lovable when your earthly body is dying and you’re lovable today.

Can we realize that our value was very high in God’s eyes at birth and it will continue to be quite high in God’s eyes every single day for ever and ever. Our value – our True Net Worth – is consistent throughout our lives because we were born with tremendous value and potential. That value and potential remains inside of us whether we choose to use it or not.

Potential for what?  To develop spiritually. To become the loving and compassionate people that we’re all capable of being.  If our spiritual development becomes our main priority and we’re feeling content in knowing that we’re doing all that we can, would we not feel encouraged and like we had truly kept our appointment with ourselves?

Our True Net Worth has nothing to do with our financial net worth. At the end of our life, we will not be rated based upon our accumulation of cars, homes, jewelry, art and money. Instead of evaluating ourselves based upon our financial net worth, how about if we started focusing more heavily on our Spiritual development – our True Net Worth?

Let’s go back to the definition of discourage: To deprive of confidence, hope or spirit.  Spirit is the piece of divinity that resides within each of us.  It is a gift that is given to us that can never be taken away without our permission.  No one can deprive you of your Spirit.

Our jobs can be taken away from us. We were born without jobs and we’ll leave this plane of existence without a job.

We can lose our cars or homes for a variety of very good reasons. These are assets that frequently depreciate. We were born without a home and we trusted in our parent(s) and God to provide for us when we had nothing.

A person can divorce us or die on us leaving us without our partner on earth. We were born without a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend and we will leave this earth without one too.

Your value as a child of God does not diminish when unemployed, carless, homeless or without a significant other.   Our True Net Worth was high when we entered this world before we started accumulating roles and possessions. Our True Net Worth will be very high when we leave this world and it should remain very high on a daily basis.  This feeling of very high True Net Worth should not fluctuate because we have a strong spiritual connection to God and to each other.

The development of our Spirit is the one asset that we have that is guaranteed to appreciate and can never depreciate without our permission.

Unity Consciousness is our spiritual connection to God and our awareness that we are united with every human on the planet via a spiritual connection.  When we understand that our source of strength and power comes from the Spirit that dwells within us and from the relationship between our Spirit and God, we feel valuable and connected on a daily basis.  We know that our source of strength that is with us today and that will be with us for eternity will always provide for us.  It is that faith in God and our faith in our brothers and sisters in the world that assures us that we are never alone and that there is always hope.

With faith in God, there is always hope. When we’re working on improving and developing our relationship with God and our God-like attributes of love, faith and compassion we’re much more likely to feel tranquil and understanding as the things around us that are not in our control – the economy, a company’s success, the behavior of other people – are disappointing us.

External things can disappoint us but our developed Spirit (internal peace, love and serenity) and relationship with God will never do that!

Here is the Webster’s II definition of courage:  “The quality of state of mind or spirit enabling one to face danger or hardship with confidence and resolution”.

The definition says that courage could be the quality of state of mind enabling one to face danger or hardship with confidence and resolution.  In that definition, I only include state of mind (I’m excluding spirit). What might that state of mind sound like in our minds?

I remain calm when danger is around me.

I know that I have the ability to overcome any hardship that comes my way.

I am a strong individual who only gets stronger when events in my life become tougher.

These would be pretty good states of mind would they not?  With a strong state of mind, I am alone in my thoughts and strength. I am disconnected from God and from other people.

Let’s change the definition to the quality of state of spirit enabling one to face danger or hardship with confidence and resolution.  What types of spiritual thoughts would be imprinted in the mind?

I remain calm whenever danger is upon me and feel assured God is with me at all times and will always open a door or window when another one closes.

I am filled with confidence and courage at all times because I know that my ability to overcome every obstacle presented to me is a reality and well within the power of God.

My Spiritual connection to God and to other people assures me that I am never alone which is why I happily welcome challenges into my life.

In these examples, I keep my strong state of mind. I also bring-on the best security guard available. God is with us at all times to assist us in dealing with every single thought, problem, adversity and disappointment that life brings us.

In the first set of thoughts above, I presented strong, positive thoughts that were present in my mind.  In the second set of thoughts, I supplemented the very positive thoughts with the addition of God’s Spirit.  In the second examples, it’s our strong faith in God and belief in our developed Spirit which makes the confidence and courage in us even more powerful.

When I choose to build my biceps and other muscles, I commit to a daily regimen of exercises that will keep my muscles toned and growing. This is the same routine to build our spiritual muscle.  Our faith in our ability to bench press our body weight comes from frequent practice that give us confidence knowing that we can lift the weight whenever we’re called upon to do so..  Our Spiritual muscle – the Soul – is built in the very same manner. Our meditation, prayer and assimilation of God’s messages into deeply carved pathways within our minds enables us to build our Spiritual muscle on a daily basis so that it’s always ready to lift us up and sustain us when life’s speed bumps seem to appear from nowhere.

As you commit to a daily routine to keep your body healthy, be certain to commit to a daily routine to nurture and develop your Spirit. It is your Spiritual Muscle that will sustain you and assist you in dealing with every speed bump along the highway of life.

You control how you feel about your spiritual maturity, your relationship with God and your relationship with (how you treat) other humans.  When you give yourself high grades in these areas, all of the disappointment and discouragement is truly external and seems small and insignificant in comparison.

It is your strong Spiritual Muscle that builds your True Net Worth.