During our Christmas celebration on Friday evening, a friend told me that he liked one of last week’s blogs about forgiveness.  He asked me if I had really forgiven everyone in my life because he was having a hard time forgiving one particular person – and for a very good reason.

How long does it take to be ready, willing and able to forgive another person?

When my friend questioned my 100% forgiveness of others statement, part of my response to him reminded me that in some cases, it had taken me years from the time of the incident to even become ready to communicate with the individual. I knew as soon as I answered him that my forgiveness had taken way too long.

Did it need to take me years to be able to forgive or apologize?  No.

Forgiveness in its best form can be instantaneous.  The mind says, I think that I’ll forgive this person and the lips start moving, I forgive you.

Lots of people have written many great things on the topic of forgiveness. Below are a few of my favorite quotes on the topic along with a few comments and sample affirmations to use to assimilate the new mindsets:

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten — Buddha

Buddha is challenging us to decide whether we’d prefer cherishing resentment or if we’d prefer to be resentment-free and cherish feelings of peace and serenity.  As with all the changes that we choose to make in ourselves, this one requires a mindset to be deleted and replaced with a new mind.    In this case, it’s the mind of Buddha.

Affirmation: I happily and easily forgive each person at the time of the incident and cherish my resentment-free mind.

Jesus is very clear about when and how often we’re supposed to forgive in Luke’s Gospel, “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times and says, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

It sounds like Jesus is letting us know that forgiveness should be ongoing and instantaneous. Can you imagine the same person offending you seven times in the same day?  Could you imagine forgiving that same person seven times?  That’s what he’s telling us to do. Can I do that?

Jesus’ words are always giving me a better vision of myself than how I am currently living.  Although the gap between where I am currently and where he’s calling me to be seems big at the time,  I am able to lessen and eventually close the gap with repetition of his words. Mentors always see a better picture of us than we see of ourselves. The key for us is to surround ourselves with the best mentors available – whether they’re still physically roaming the earth or not.

Affirmation: Forgiving the same individual multiple times for the same offense comes naturally to me because I am patient and understanding

Whether one believes in a religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion – Dalai Lama

Which type of hurt bothers you more?  Is it the feeling of having hurt another or the feeling of having been hurt by someone else?  For me, the feeling of thinking that I’ve hurt another person is much more painful.  Apologizing and receiving the gift of forgiveness from another person takes a tremendous burden off my mind and soul.  Because I know that feeling well, I want to be sure to give that same gift to others as soon and as frequently as possible.

It’s always possible to forgive.  Forgiveness is a choice.  We either choose to forgive or we choose to hold on to our anger and resentment. The more that you’ve been hurt by the other person, the larger the gift that you give them with your forgiveness.  Give large gifts to others.

Affirmation: I show kindness and compassion to others by graciously forgiving offenses whether large or small

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it – Confucius

A short and sweet message from Confucius. My mother has a great trait of having a very poor memory for bad things done by people. This is not a trait that was acquired later in life as a result of a fading memory. She’s always had the Confucius-like quality of not holding on to bad memories.  Either I received this gene from her of I’ve been able to develop the qualities of living in the present and forgetting the bad that happened in the past.

Affirmation: I am a master of remembering the kindness that is shown toward me and am equally good at forgetting offenses

If we practice an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, soon the whole world will be blind and toothless –Mahatma Gandhi

I really enjoy people who have the skill to deliver a message in a humorous fashion. We’re being encouraged this time by Gandhi to forgive rather than to get even. What a great trait this is.  It’s a choice to act in a God-like manner rather than in a malicious manner.  When we forgive, we’re sharing the gift of compassion and kindness with another person. We’re showing them that it’s possible to love and forgive rather than retaliate or harbor grudges.

Goodness, kindness and forgiveness are the result of an increase in our awareness. They’re the result of becoming aware through mentors like Gandhi, Jesus, Confucius, Buddha and the Dalai Lama that we have the potential to be more compassionate than we are today.

It’s an awareness that the peace and serenity that result from our forgiveness of others feels so much better than the painful repetition in our minds of how we’ve been wronged by another.

What good comes from holding on to our anger, hurt and resentment?  I can’t think of any.

What good comes from forgiving another person?  You feel better and the other person feels better.  A burden has been taken off your shoulders and your soul.  Your soul has become a little bit brighter as a result of the dark emotion being removed and replaced by love.

Because I believe Jesus’ words, I know that I will be forgiven for every offense if I’m truly sorry. That same belief allows me to forgive myself after I’ve been off-the-mark or off-my-game. If I expect to be forgiven quickly and if I want to forgive myself quickly, then it makes sense that I offer the same consideration to others – quickly.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were –Cherie Carter-Scott

Over the last few days, perhaps like you, I’ve heard from many family members, friends and followers. While some people shared good tidings, it’s clearly a time of year when many of us are taking stock of our relationships. As much as holidays are meant for us to celebrate, inevitably they also cause us to reflect on the state of our lives. Each gathering brings memories and perhaps evokes visions of what we think our lives should be.

Several people who reached out to me shared very emotional thoughts; revealing anger, sadness or remorse over the loss of a loved one, an estrangement or simply a conflict that doesn’t seem to be resolvable.  You can read some of these in my comments section.

People are in tears over their inability to hug, kiss or talk with a person that they loved. For those dealing with a death, it doesn’t seem to matter whether the loss was predictable given their loved one’s condition, or completely unexpected. The people “left behind” are spending sleepless nights, questioning themselves about what might have been. Many are crying nearly uncontrollably, with an emotional hole in their hearts.

In addition to those suffering “real” loss, I’ve spoken with many other people who are not participating in holiday events – parties, dinners, worship – because of tension between family members. This is another kind of loss, and it’s fundamentally more difficult to comprehend.

This second type of emotional pain also doesn’t seem to be connected to whether the tension was predictable given the history of the relationship, or a fracture that came from a single event. Sometimes the argument started over money. For some, it’s about how-to-care for a parent. For still others, the struggle is over the inability to exchange material gifts of equal value with family members. It seems logically impossible, but many people don’t even know why they’re not speaking with the other person. Maybe there was a series of small schisms that were never addressed, and therefore never healed. Lastly, some anger just wells up and we can’t frame it in order to express it, even to ourselves.

In any case, loss is loss. In my experience, the feelings of losing someone to death are very similar to the loss of an important relationship with someone who is still living on earth.

Bad feelings happen. I don’t think that most people intentionally hurt others. On any day in a myriad of ways, even people of great integrity and intention somehow manage to hurt those we love the most.

Is there a lesson for people who are angry with a loved one, to learn from people who are grieving the death of a loved one?

Would it help if I could bring these two groups of people together? If I were able to get them into the same room, would those who’ve lost a loved one to death, be able to convince those who are suffering from tension with a family or friend forgive, forget and love again?

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty good and strong person. My Dad had impressed upon me the quality of “being the bigger person” and apologizing to another with the hope of returning to peace. He was right then and he still is.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mahatma Ghandi

I learned that quote a little over a year ago. It felt like a nurturing slap in the face when I heard it. It got me thinking, “Are there any people on the planet who need my forgiveness or who are waiting for an apology from me?” Wouldn’t it be great to go through the rest of my life without any anger, envy or resentment in my life? Wouldn’t it be phenomenal to have this person (or these people) back in my life where he belongs?  I liked those ideas a lot.  All of my ideas seem to be good ones!

At that point, I made a list of the people in my life who had distanced themselves from me, and people toward whom I harbored some sort of anger or resentment.  One by one, I picked-up the phone and either had a conversation or set a time to meet with that person.  What were the objectives? I wanted to either apologize and be forgiven by that person if I’d hurt them, or to say “I forgive you” to someone who had hurt me.

I’m sorry. I apologize. I love you. I forgive you.

I think I did something that caused you to feel hurt. I’ve given it a lot of thought but I’m not sure what I did. Will you please help me understand what it was, so I can apologize and do my best not make the same mistake again?

You are really important to me. I feel a hole in my life that’s created by your absence. My hope is once you receive my apology or if it’s appropriate, I receive yours, we each feel forgiveness, and move on to a life filled with love and laughter.

When you or I have done every thing within our power to bring peace to a relationship, it gives us a feeling of serenity.  We control how we think and how we act. We do not control how others respond. Just because we forgive, apologize or extend our hand in friendship, there’s no guarantee another person is in a place to act similarly. This was an important lesson in maturity for me.  Just because I’m ready to love and have peace in my life, it doesn’t mean that the other person is there yet.  When this happens, I’m now prepared to flex my understanding muscle and let the other person know that I’ll be ready to speak, meet and reconcile whenever they’re ready.  What a great feeling!

Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. -Gautama Buddha

No one wants to receive coal on Christmas or any other day.  Drop each of your hot coals and watch them dissipate and cool off.

The same thing happens with anger, hostility and resentment when we drop them and replace them with love.  The afflictive emotions that cause us to frown, go away.

They are replaced with love and joy, which cause us to smile in peace.

I was recently asked to speak about a topic that I’ve never given a lot of thought to prior to this request. The subject is guilt.

Here is the definition of guilt according to Wikipedia: Guilt is a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person realizes or believes — accurately or not — that they have violated a moral standard, and is responsible for that violation.

Within the world of archery, the term “sin” means to be off-target.   I think that we feel the emotion of guilt when we believe in our own minds, hearts and souls that we’re “off-target” for how we believe we should be acting in our every day lives.

Our internal idea of our moral standards has 3 stages…

Stage 1: We’re born with an internal sense of all that is good.

Stage 2: We learn many dos and don’ts and rights and wrongs from our caregivers – parents, grandparents, coaches, teachers, clergy, etc. These may or may not be the ultimate truths but, when we’re young we frequently take these words from our elders as gospel.

Stage 3: I believe that we begin to create for ourselves our true sense of on-target or off-target by combining our internal morality compass with what we’ve learned from our caregivers with information that we’ve learned as adults. When we’re young and impressionable, we’re overloaded with opinions, beliefs and doctrine that are thrown at us by well-meaning individuals. As adults, it’s our responsibility to acquire enough wisdom and knowledge to accurately determine how we choose to run our lives.

Guilt manifests itself when we’re off-target for how we believe we should be running our lives. It also manifests itself when others attempt to make us feel guilty for not complying with their requests.

Let’s deal with the first situation: In this instance, we’re violating our own idea of what’s good enough. One of my suggestions for us to have happy, balanced and guilt-free lives is for us to have goals for every major area of our life: social, spiritual, financial, career, family, education, health, etc.

When we go through the work of deciding what our ideal life would look like if we lived up to our potential in each area, we begin developing an internal vision of a newer, better self. Smiles usually appear on our faces and in our minds when we start thinking about our potential.

In order for us to improve and begin working toward our vision, we will set-up daily activities that will cause improvement in each area. Examples of daily activities that we might develop to help us realize our goals are exercise, prayer, meditation, reading with our children, daily conversation with our significant other and reading.  Once we set the goal for ourselves and tell ourself how often we’d like to participate in this activity, we’re setting up a plan for how we’re choosing to spend out time in the future.  An example might be that we’d like to exercise for 30-minutes per day 5 days per week.   If it’s our goal, as opposed to someone else’s goal being pushed upon us, we should go after the activity with gusto and use language like love to, choose to and want to when describing this idea to ourselves.  Those word choices reinforce the concept that this activity is my idea.  Many of us use language like I have to exercise.  The improved language would be I love exercising! When we tell ourselves that we have to do something, we trying to coerce ourselves into doing something that we really do not want to do.  If you do not want to do something, stop bullying yourself into doing it.

Guilt may rear it’s lovely head when we’ve made a commitment to ourselves to do something and then do not do it.  I refer to that as self-inflicted guilt which is a result of making a commitment to ourselves and then not keeping it.  Another word for this is disappointment.  We had an appointment with ourselves which we did not keep. In this case, guilt can be a very good thing and be a motivator for change because it will cause us to decide whether or not we’d really like to be the type of person that we had in mind when we set the goal.  If so, we can develop our resolve and continue our pursuit of this vision.  If not, we can take the pressure off ourselves because there are very few have-to’s in this life.  Once we understand that there are very few have-to’s and that there are consequences for every one of our actions and non-actions, we get to choose how we’d like to live our lives – guilt-free.  You’re worthy of an ideal life.  You get to decide what ideal means to you.

Are we more likely to make and keep commitments to ourselves or to others?  When I ask this question in front of a group, the majority of people admit that they are more likely to make and keep commitments to others than to themselves.  Does that mean that we love others more than we love ourselves?  Please give that question careful consideration.

The affirmation that I developed for myself that you’re welcome to borrow is, “I make commitments to myself and keep them because I love myself as much as I love others.”  I chose to develop that affirmation because I was guilty of keeping commitments made to others but, would break commitments that I had made to myself.

Once you’ve set goals for your life, you’ll find that your calendar becomes very full of activities that are related to your ideal life.  When your calendar is genuinely full of activities related to your goals and others ask you to do something in a time slot that you’ve already committed, it makes it very easy to politely say, “I’m sorry that I cannot attend (or help or assist or volunteer) because I have another commitment on that date and time.”  There is no guilt because you DO have another commitment!

It’s very easy to say no to another person when we have another commitment. I’ve noticed that guilt sometimes comes from saying no to a request from another when we don’t have anything else that we’re supposed to be doing.  In those cases, guilt surfaces because of a fabrication (sometimes called a lie). That is another good reason for self-inflicted guilt.

Guilt may also surface because of our feelings of being over responsible. Although you and I contribute greatly to the happiness of others, it is not our responsibility to make others happy. Happiness is the responsibility of each person. Anyone who has ever tried to make someone else happy knows that this is an impossible task. Happiness is a choice. Because we cannot physically be in two places at the same time, we’re required to choose.

Sometimes others try to cause us to feel guilty when a task is not done by us the right way. Maturation allows us to know that there are many right ways of doing something and there is no one right way. You realize that you’re a smart and creative person who may have figured out another right way of accomplishing a goal with the same or better end-result.

Around the holiday season, we sometimes feel guilty for our inability to purchase everything that our children would like to receive.  Holy Days are not about material gifts.  Gift-giving is a secular concept that has somehow replaced the original Holy Day with a secular holiday.  As an example, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ  and is reminder of His birth and His promise to return to earth again. It’s that reminder that  is supposed to cause us to conduct a self-assessment of how we’re living our lives versus how we’ve been called to live them.  It’s a wonderful time for loving, serving, praying, worshiping and renewing our relationship with God and others.  We can really show our love for others in ways that have much more meaning than material gift giving.

In Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, he tells us that we can spell and live the word love, t-i-m-e.   If we want to communicate our love to the people that we truly do love, we can give them our most precious gift – time.

When we give others the gift of our time, love and conversation, we’re giving them a gift that always fits and will never have to be returned.

When guilt is self-inflicted, we understand that we’re off-target based upon our idea of how good we’d like to be.  This is a great time to reset our internal compasses.

When guilt is thrown at us from others, you can gracefully reject the feelings and emotions that are being thrown your way. No one can make you feel guilty without your consent.

You and I either have a purpose, plan or cause or we become part of someone else’s.

Live life with intention and absence of guilt.

Prior to the Fort Hood killings, Reverend David Rinas, a Lutheran Minister in Chelmsford, Massachusetts and Imam Hafiz Abdul Hannan from the Islamic Society of Greater Lowell (MA) had planned an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service. The timing of their service could not have been any better. It was a great time for people within Massachusetts to learn more about Islam and other faiths different than their own.

When I saw the notice in my local paper announcing the service, I immediately tore the clipping out and entered the 7PM service into my Blackberry.  That slot was locked-in on my calendar for several days until I found out on Sunday morning that the New England Patriots-New York Jets games started at 4:15 (which meant it wouldn’t end until about 7:30PM)  The interfaith service would significantly cut-into an evening of relaxing football!

As it got to be about 5:30PM, it was pitch black, cold and raw in Massachusetts.  I was comfortably settled in front of the football game with the gas fireplace in our family room cranked to the temperature of a pizza oven. I had to decide whether to finish the football game while toasty warm, or change clothes, freshen-up and head-out into the dark, dreary night.

Why does doing the right think always make us feel good?

I strolled into the Trinity Lutheran Church at about 6:55PM after listening to the Patriots game on my car radio in the church parking lot up until the last minute.  Like most church services that I’ve ever been to, most of the people there were seated in the middle of the church toward the back.  There were plenty of seats available at the front on the left-hand side, so I headed in that direction so that I’d be able to see and have a little breathing room (H1N1 is everywhere!).

At about 6:58, about 6 people and an infant chose the row directly in front of my pew and settled-in comfortably making sure to completely obstruct this 5 foot 8 inch man’s perfect view of the lectern and altar.

After a short greeting by Rev. Rinas, John Kurland from Congregation Shalom lead us in this prayer:

God of all creation, we stand in awe before You, impelled by visions of the harmony of humanity.   We are children of many traditions–inheritors of shared wisdom and tragic misunderstandings, of proud hopes and humble successes.  Now it is time for us to meet and worship–in memory and truth, in courage and trust, in love and promise.

In that which we share, let us see the common prayer of humanity; in that which we differ, let us wonder at the freedom of all; in our unity and our differences, let us know the uniqueness that is God.

May our courage match our convictions, and our integrity match our hope. May our gratitude and thankfulness which brings us together today unite our hearts in love. May our faith in You bring us closer to each other.  May our meeting with past and present bring blessing for the future.

Amen.

What football game? At about 7:02, I knew that I had made the right decision to leave the pizza oven and venture into the cold church that was full of warmth.

The 80 minute service alternated between music and prayer. A member from each faith lead us in a prayer that was deemed appropriate by each of the clergy prior to the service.  They got together to decide how to focus on all that we had in common rather than focus on our differences.  I love that!

One of the guys in front of me who was obstructing my view had the red hymnal open but, was not singing.  It appeared as if he had a piece of paper in the hymnal that he was studying while pretending to be looking at the hymnal.

When it came time for the recitation from the Quran, that man got up and proceeded to the lectern. The most touching part of the evening for me was scripture sung from the Quran in Arabic.  His voice trembled from nerves at the beginning most likely because he was out of his comfort zone–I think that everyone else was too. He quickly settled in to singing the Word of Allah.  Muslims are serious about their faith.

Knowing the little that I do about meditation, the body is divided into 7-8 chakras (energy centers) that start from the base of the spine and proceed up to the tip of the head (the crown chakra). The chakras are called energy centers because these are the places where we have large collections of nerves that can frequently become stuck.  Yoga, meditation and chiropractic are all ways of making sure that these chakras are working properly. When each of them is working properly, our body is at ease and free from dis-ease.

Each of the chakras is related to a unique color and  note from the musical C-scale.  Having the scripture sung to me seemed to touch each of my chakras as his chanting resonated with each energy center from the base of my spine up to my crown.

What I now realized is that I had been lucky enough to sit in the section where the Muslims decided to sit.  In addition to the man who chanted from the Quran, the Imam’s wife was to my right and immediately in front of me was a young couple who had a 5-month old infant in a bassinet in-between them.  Amir (the Dad) could not have payed any more attention to his beautiful little daughter if he tried.  She was gorgeous as she sat there sleeping through most of the service waking up only to have the pacifier returned to her mouth or for a sip from the bottle. When Amir’s daughter occasionally woke up, her beautiful, sparkling eyes were looking directly into mine as if she were peering into my soul.  Her Dad turned around and looked at me for the first time to try and figure out who or what she was looking at so intently.

The keynote speaker was the Imam from the Islamic Society.  If I ever had a doubt about our ability to have Unity Consciousness become our collective reality across the globe, that thought was quickly removed. The Imam and each of the clergy from every faith focused on a common God and the common spirit present in every human.

While Imam Hannan was talking about Islam and how Muslims pray 5 times per day, he also told us how they are thankful for so many things including simple things like clothing.   He reminded us that each of us has so many things to be thankful for that we could never count all of Allah’s blessings bestowed upon us.  Well said.

He went on to say that although Thanksgiving is largely a North American tradition, we should include each member of our global family into our prayers of Thanksgiving and not restrict our thanks and blessings to the United States or Canada only.

The service ended with Rev. Rinas, suggesting that we introduce ourselves to each other before going into the hall for coffee and baked goods. Because of the H1N1 virus precaution, the Lutheran church members have stopped shaking hands and instead started touching each other’s wrists. Because Muslim women are prohibited from touching other men, we were asked to either bow or give a visual hello or sign of peace to each other.

I said hello to the man who had sung the Quran scriptures and told him what a great voice he had. He smiled with appreciation. Amir (the little girl’s Dad) had left the church for a few minutes when his daughter had started crying and didn’t hear the announcement about no hand shaking.   He gave me a big, bright smile that came close to matching the brightness of his daughter’s eyes as he extended his hand as a sign of peace. I ignored the no-hand-shaking rule and eagerly extended my hand to my new friend as I told him how lovely his daughter was.

I didn’t want to leave the football game and drive 15 minutes to get to get to the service. Amir and his wife got their 5-month old daughter bundled up and drove 45 minutes to get to the service to hear his friend – Imam Hannan – speak.  What was I thinking?

Our world is small.

We are all the same at our core.  We’re humans who fall in love with other humans.  We care deeply for our children.  Many of us have come to know God through the faith we learned as a child or deliberately chose as adults.  The more that we learn about each other, the more it becomes easy for us to love each other.

Knowledge brings us together, but it is knowledge of God’s love for us that makes it easy to love each other.

Listen to this Post!
 

- Being with God is being at peace with yourself and the world. It’s like coming home to a place that is safe, warm and comfortable. It’s going back to our original home.

Why is inviting God back into our lives like coming home?  Because with God is where we originated and it’s where we’ll return when we leave our earthly bodies.

If we thought about it for a little while, most of us would admit that we came from God and that we’re hoping to return to God upon our physical death.  Why don’t we call home or visit more frequently?

Living a life without God’s love and grace is like living at a Ritz Carlton all the time.  Dining out all the time is fun and I enjoy not having to make my bed , but there is always something much larger, warmer and more comfortable that is calling me back home – where I belong.

When someone is breaking into our home we call the police and are thankful when they arrive.

When we’re sick, we rush to the doctor and trust that she will be able to restore us to physical health.

If we have a problem with our heating system, we eagerly await for the plumber to arrive.

There seem to be external answers for each of our external problems. We just need to figure out which specialist to call.

Who do we call when we’re feeling cold and incomplete – when we know that something is missing – when we realize that we are somehow lacking (on the inside)?

Who do we call when we’re feeling dissatisfied with work, relationships, debt, friends or family? Are we the problem or is it everyone at work, school and in our families and social network?

When we’re experiencing lower levels of consciousness and experiencing feelings such as pessimism, irritation, impatience, doubt and anger, can we do a Google search or call directory assistance?

In each of the examples above, we’ve called-in a specialist to provide us with assistance in areas where we’re deficient.

Where do we turn when we finally acknowledge that the feeling of deficiency is not external , but internal? It’s time to call-in the Ultimate Specialist.

All we have to do is invite the light of God back into our lives.  Any darkness that we feel or experience is only an absence of light within our minds, hearts and souls.  That absence of light is the empty space where God should be dwelling and happily living on a daily basis.

We’re yearning to go home and God’s eager to make a home inside of us. Isn’t that ironic?

Repentance is a “bringing back” of God into our lives. One of Webster’s definitions for repentance is “to feel such regret for previous behavior as to change one’s mind about it”.

Here are two of my numerous personal repentance examples:

When I was in college, I decided to drop out during a semester that was especially tough for me.  Over the summer, I repented and went back and finished college on time.

About 7 years out of college, I was working at a company that I felt was underpaying me.  I left the company after being recruited by a person who I thought really valued me and my skillset.  After that person resigned from the new company after I was there only a few months, I repented and went back to the former company.

What is it that we regret about our behavior when we’re feeling this hunger inside ourselves that can’t seem to be satisfied? We’ve ignored the most important relationship in our lives for too long – our relationship with God.  We repent because we’ve sometimes developed our minds, developed our bank accounts, developed our physical bodies and yet somehow still feel incomplete. We regret ignoring the Holy Spirit within us who is eager to establish higher levels of consciousness with us.

What is it that we’ve “changed our mind” about?  We thought that we could do “it” alone. We thought that we were complete without God’s grace in our minds and hearts on a continuous basis. We thought that we could live a life completely removed from our Creator.

It’s like the story in the Bible of the Prodigal Son who leaves his home and his father and squanders everything given to him. After losing everything given to him by his father, the son returns home and is welcomed with open arms by his father.

When we re-establish our relationship with God, our hunger is satisfied and we experience feelings of joy and wholeness.  It is through this relationship with God that our minds are filled with the thoughts of peace, joy and love.

We experience an absence of fear because we know that God created us with his thought and filled us with his Spirit and our Spirit will return home to Him when our time on earth is complete.

As we consciously fill our minds with God’s knowledge, we develop an unshakable faith in the understanding of who we are, where we came from and where our ultimate destination will be.

There is a very large piece of divinity residing inside each of us.  It is that Spirit within us that was created in the image and likeness of God our creator.   That Spirit understands how to feel and experience everlasting joy.  It is the connecting of our Spirit with the Source of that Spirit – God – which enables us to experience higher levels of consciousness and feelings of empowerment. We feel empowered because we are literally powered with the energy and creativity of the Universe’s creator.

The power that you feel is God’s light being generated and manifested with your thought. It is a light that once lit will never go out.

Welcome home. God is here to greet you with wide-open arms, a big hug and ready to let His light live and shine in YOU!

We’re always looking to go back home.

It seems to me that there have been a lot of people in the world of sports to forgive lately–Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz (possibly), Michael Vick, Rick Pitino just off the top of my head. Joe Posnanski writes in a Sports Illustrated website article “ It’s time to forgive Pete Rose for his sins against baseball.”

Why is it so important that we forgive those who have wronged us and to apologize to those whom we’ve hurt?

Forgive your neighbor the wrong he has done, and then your sins will be
pardoned when you pray.
Sirach 28:2

One  reason to forgive others is that most of us are looking for forgiveness after we’ve done something wrong. When I’ve wronged others, I’ve decided to institute the “do unto others” principle and apologize.  I don’t control whether or not people will accept the apology but, I do control whether or not I offer it.  Whenever I apologize, I feel better. Even if the apology was not accepted. Did you ever try asking someone for forgiveness and have them refuse?  I have.

Maybe people like holding on to their anger because of what Ghandi said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” I liked that quote so much that I turned it into an affirmation:  “I am a strong individual who easily and happily forgives others.”

On the path to becoming enlightened, the Buddhists implement a strategy to free themselves from what they call “afflictive emotions” — anger, hatred, desire, jealousy, etc.  There are great meditations that allow us to promote happiness, peace and freedom from suffering for ourselves and others. When our minds are full of happiness and peaceful thoughts (Spirit), we don’t allow much room for negativity, anger and resentment. It’s so much easier to forgive others when we’re feeling good about ourselves.

I listened to Deepak Chopra’s “Secrets of Enlightenment” CD at the gym this morning for the first time.  Boy did he pack a lot of information into 60 minutes! One of his comments that I really enjoyed is “When we’re in the state of Love, it’s impossible to hurt or be hurt.”  Meditate on that thought for a while!  Can you imagine and visualize being so full of Love that you’re incapable of hurting others or being hurt by someone else?

Lewis B. Smedes tells us that “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” When we’re holding on  to a hurt feeling that’s been caused by someone else, we’re the ones who are suffering.  When we’ve hurt another person and don’t apologize, we just don’t feel right.  Once we say those magical words, “I apologize” or “I forgive you”, that huge weight is lifted from our shoulders and souls.

Does a man harbor anger against another, and yet seek for healing from the Lord?
Sirach 28:3

Have you ever tried asking forgiveness from another person or from God when in the back of your mind you remember that you have not forgiven someone else?  Now that’s not going to work out real well is it?

Because I’m looking to forgive myself and to be forgiven by God and others, I’ve decided to become God-like when it comes to forgiveness.

Forgive others when they’ve offended you.  Apologize to people at the first sign that you “might have” possibly hurt them. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Who are the people whom you should forgive today?   Who are the people who are waiting for an apology from you?  Give them a call or go and visit them.

I agree with Joe Posnanski. Let’s forgive Pete Rose.

I say goodbye to you today with a laugh from Oscar Wilde: “Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.”

After much consideration, outside input and one-on-one sessions with Michael Vick, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell decided in favor of Vick’s return to the league. If he’s picked-up by an NFL team, Vick could be fully reinstated by the sixth week of the upcoming NFL season and also be eligible to play in the final 2 preseason games. I am so happy for Michael, his family, his friends and the NFL.

I’ve been reading and listening as much as I possibly can about Vick’s story, his 20 month prison sentence and his 2 months of home confinement. On sports radio in Boston, many of the hosts and callers did not want Michael reinstated.  “He should be banned from the NFL forever!”  “What he did to those dogs is unforgivable!”

Why?

He was convicted of a crime and served his term. He’s been given interviews with Goodell and has convinced the commissioner that his remorse is sincere. At what point should we forgive another human being and allow that person to proceed with his or her life?

Are the people who are calling into sports radio living lives so perfect that they’ve never had to ask for forgiveness from anyone?  I absolutely love Jesus’ quote, “he who is without sin can cast the first stone.”  Can’t you just visualize the body language of the people with large rocks in their hands as they slowly bow their heads in shame and drop their rocks to the ground. Whenever I even remotely consider judging Michael or anyone else, that quote comes to mind.  Yes, I am a sinner and have been guilty of sin for my entire 47 years on the planet. Yes, I’ve had to ask for forgiveness from family, friends, customers and God.  Thankfully, most of them said the magical three words I was praying for:  “I forgive you.”

I was also very impressed with Goodell’s forecast for Vick’s future: “We are not looking for failure. We’re looking to see a young man succeed.”  Great mentors always hold a better vision for us than we hold for ourselves.  Great mentors get other people to buy into that new, stronger vision and commit to a new level of excellence. Roger Goodell can be one of Michael’s mentors as he moves forward. Goodell expects Michael to succeed. He is showing faith in Vick’s sincere remorse and his commitment to change. Faith and conviction are contagious.

Another mentor for Michael is the former coach of the Indianapolis Colts – Tony Dungy.  Tony has always come across to me as a person of strong faith who exhibits love, compassion and patience for his family, his players and for the community. Part of Dungy’s community service is to share his faith, hope and love with prisoners.  They’re a segment of society that we find very easy to hate, judge and look down upon with self-righteousness. They are a segment of society that most of us have given up on. Tony hasn’t. He’s there to provide them with hope in the present and for the future. Tony has tremendous credibility because he’s successfully coached, mentored and trained some of the best athletes on the planet with his proven formula for success.  He’s capable of giving that same formula to prisoners and to Michael Vick, and inspiring stellar results.

One of the reasons we don’t feel compassion and forgiveness towards others is that many of us aren’t that great at providing compassion and forgiveness to ourselves. We keep beating ourselves up over mistakes we’ve made in the past. At what point is it okay to forgive ourselves?

I know that God forgives me for my sins. If God will forgive me then, I should be willing to forgive myself and proceed with my life free from guilt.  Once I get comfortable forgiving myself, it makes it much easier to forgive Michael Vick, and family members and friends who have somehow offended us.

God doesn’t give upon us until we give up on ourselves!

Goodell has shown compassion and forgiven Michael Vick.  Let’s make forgiveness contagious. Who should you forgive today?

Dungy is going to mentor Michael Vick. Who could use your mentoring today?