David Kundtz

Considered an inspirational nutritionist, David Kundtz provides soulful insights that remind us what matters most.

David has enjoyed several careers, including 18 years in religious ministry and 20 years in the practice of psychotherapy, public speaking on stress and emotional health, and writing.

Born in Cleveland, Ohio, and schooled in Washington, Baltimore, and Berkeley, David holds graduate degrees in both psychology and theology and a doctorate in pastoral psychology.

He also spent several years in Idaho and Cali, Columbia, finally settling between Kensington, California and Vancouver, British Columbia. He is also an adjunct professor at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley and is a member of the Board of Directors of GroundSpark.

David offers reflections, stories, and wise guidance that remind us to live in a state of awareness about the reality that always exists in front of our faces, under our noses, or just below the surface of every moment. He can be reached through his website: Stopping.com.

Cable Guy. Stickman. Bible Guy.

Those are a few of the names that have been given to me through the years by people who were describing me before I had ever opened my mouth and spoken with them.

Back in the early 1980’s, I learned how to play handball, racquetball and squash during a gym class in college. After graduating from school, I joined a gym that attracted some very good racquetball players.

Shortly after showing up at The Courthouse with my short-sleeve shirt and tennis shorts, a few of these fine athletes nicknamed me stickman before they had met me. I now understand that they gave me that nickname because my body resembles the stick figure that is frequently prominent on men’s public rest room doors.  I have a very average size body with 2 lean arms and 2 scrawny legs attached to my torso. To this day, those friends from the 80’s still yell out stick or stickman when they see me in public.

After about a decade at that gym, I joined a new club to focus on weight and cardio training so that I could hopefully shed the stickman nickname by developing the muscles on my limbs.  One of the husband & wife couples who worked out at the gym used to primarily keep to themselves while exercising.  One of the ways that they would communicate with each other about people at the gym is by giving the people they saw on a regular basis nicknames.  There was ladder guy (he drove up to the gym every day with ladders on his truck), Joseph and Mary (a husband with long, wavy hair, a mustache, and a beard and his Mother-of-God looking wife) and Cable Guy (a Jim Carrey-looking character who wore his leftover racquetball head bands and wrist bands to lift weights and run on treadmills).  Yes, I was that guy – this couple called me Cable Guy for quite a while before I introduced myself to them.

Three weeks ago, I was working in my favorite coffee shop writing spot and I noticed a friend who I went to grammar school with who also happens to attend the same church.  She stopped into the coffee shop to get some coffee and hot chocolate with her 10-year old daughter.  I waved at my friend and she gave me a big smile and invited me over for a quick hello.  She said that when they had walked into the coffee shop her daughter pointed at me and said, hey Mom, isn’t that Bible Guy? Because her daughter only knows me from church, she’s only seen me when I’m on the altar serving as a lector (carrying a large, red, Bible-like Lectionary).

So, let’s review:  To the people within my immediate community, I appear to many of them to be a Bible carrying, Jim Carrey-like Cable Guy whose body resembles that of a men’s rest room symbol! If I had not developed relationships with each of these people, that is how they would still see me.

How do we change the impressions that others have of us that are based solely upon our outward appearance? We have to get out of our comfort zones and open up and start revealing our true and complete whole self to others via communication.

We are a combination of mind, body and spirit.  What people see when they can only see us is our body.  When we begin talking with others, we start sharing our mind and our spirit with them.  By revealing our mind and spirit to others, we’re making it safe for them to do the same with us. We begin developing an understanding of each other that was hidden with our external facades – our bodies.

Our bodies hide the beautiful light that radiates inside each one of us.  It’s our eyes, our smiles and verbal communication that allows that light to be spread and made visible to each person within our sphere of influence.

What types of light to I see in others once they open up to me?  Love, compassion, consideration for others, understanding, humor and humility.

When we start revealing our true self to others, that action sometimes makes us feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. What will he think of me if I speak the truth about myself along with my likes and dislikes? is a feeling many of us might have.

I think that it’s just the opposite. When people begin to open up and start talking with me, I always feel much better about that person because I understand them better.  Any slightly negative thoughts or impressions that I might’ve had when they were not speaking with me magically disappear when I start to learn about who this person really is and how she became the person that she is today.  Each of us has an interesting life story that has lead us to this very day.  These unique stories that we share with others about ourselves gives people a much clearer picture of our background, where we are today and where we intend to go in the future.

Every look of sadness, anger or despair that is on the face of another human is there for a reason.  We just don’t know what it is–yet.

You and I were created in the image and likeness of God.  We have nothing to be ashamed of.  It’s our spirit and our soul that contains our eternal light.  Our body is but a place for our souls to dwell while on the earth.

One of the gifts that each of us can give freely is to let our light shine on those around us.

The more people that we speak with and develop a relationship with, the more we extend our reach into the universal mind and the universal spirit. We are all connected via the same spirit.  We were all created by the same creator. When we develop a relationship with others we’re forming a spiritual bond that gets larger and larger as we allow more people into our lives.

Have you given nicknames to people that you don’t know?  How about introducing yourself to them so that you can get to know the real person and so that they can get to know the real and wonderful you.

Are there people within your community – neighborhood, gym, church, school – that you’ve noticed for a long time who are still strangers?  Why not say hello to them?

Every fear is eliminated through communication with people who appear to be different than we are. People were all good at birth and are all good today deep down inside.  It may be the love shown by you towards them that allows their light to begin peeking out and shining on you and the rest of the world.

Over the last few days, perhaps like you, I’ve heard from many family members, friends and followers. While some people shared good tidings, it’s clearly a time of year when many of us are taking stock of our relationships. As much as holidays are meant for us to celebrate, inevitably they also cause us to reflect on the state of our lives. Each gathering brings memories and perhaps evokes visions of what we think our lives should be.

Several people who reached out to me shared very emotional thoughts; revealing anger, sadness or remorse over the loss of a loved one, an estrangement or simply a conflict that doesn’t seem to be resolvable.  You can read some of these in my comments section.

People are in tears over their inability to hug, kiss or talk with a person that they loved. For those dealing with a death, it doesn’t seem to matter whether the loss was predictable given their loved one’s condition, or completely unexpected. The people “left behind” are spending sleepless nights, questioning themselves about what might have been. Many are crying nearly uncontrollably, with an emotional hole in their hearts.

In addition to those suffering “real” loss, I’ve spoken with many other people who are not participating in holiday events – parties, dinners, worship – because of tension between family members. This is another kind of loss, and it’s fundamentally more difficult to comprehend.

This second type of emotional pain also doesn’t seem to be connected to whether the tension was predictable given the history of the relationship, or a fracture that came from a single event. Sometimes the argument started over money. For some, it’s about how-to-care for a parent. For still others, the struggle is over the inability to exchange material gifts of equal value with family members. It seems logically impossible, but many people don’t even know why they’re not speaking with the other person. Maybe there was a series of small schisms that were never addressed, and therefore never healed. Lastly, some anger just wells up and we can’t frame it in order to express it, even to ourselves.

In any case, loss is loss. In my experience, the feelings of losing someone to death are very similar to the loss of an important relationship with someone who is still living on earth.

Bad feelings happen. I don’t think that most people intentionally hurt others. On any day in a myriad of ways, even people of great integrity and intention somehow manage to hurt those we love the most.

Is there a lesson for people who are angry with a loved one, to learn from people who are grieving the death of a loved one?

Would it help if I could bring these two groups of people together? If I were able to get them into the same room, would those who’ve lost a loved one to death, be able to convince those who are suffering from tension with a family or friend forgive, forget and love again?

I’ve always considered myself to be a pretty good and strong person. My Dad had impressed upon me the quality of “being the bigger person” and apologizing to another with the hope of returning to peace. He was right then and he still is.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mahatma Ghandi

I learned that quote a little over a year ago. It felt like a nurturing slap in the face when I heard it. It got me thinking, “Are there any people on the planet who need my forgiveness or who are waiting for an apology from me?” Wouldn’t it be great to go through the rest of my life without any anger, envy or resentment in my life? Wouldn’t it be phenomenal to have this person (or these people) back in my life where he belongs?  I liked those ideas a lot.  All of my ideas seem to be good ones!

At that point, I made a list of the people in my life who had distanced themselves from me, and people toward whom I harbored some sort of anger or resentment.  One by one, I picked-up the phone and either had a conversation or set a time to meet with that person.  What were the objectives? I wanted to either apologize and be forgiven by that person if I’d hurt them, or to say “I forgive you” to someone who had hurt me.

I’m sorry. I apologize. I love you. I forgive you.

I think I did something that caused you to feel hurt. I’ve given it a lot of thought but I’m not sure what I did. Will you please help me understand what it was, so I can apologize and do my best not make the same mistake again?

You are really important to me. I feel a hole in my life that’s created by your absence. My hope is once you receive my apology or if it’s appropriate, I receive yours, we each feel forgiveness, and move on to a life filled with love and laughter.

When you or I have done every thing within our power to bring peace to a relationship, it gives us a feeling of serenity.  We control how we think and how we act. We do not control how others respond. Just because we forgive, apologize or extend our hand in friendship, there’s no guarantee another person is in a place to act similarly. This was an important lesson in maturity for me.  Just because I’m ready to love and have peace in my life, it doesn’t mean that the other person is there yet.  When this happens, I’m now prepared to flex my understanding muscle and let the other person know that I’ll be ready to speak, meet and reconcile whenever they’re ready.  What a great feeling!

Holding onto anger is like grasping onto a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. -Gautama Buddha

No one wants to receive coal on Christmas or any other day.  Drop each of your hot coals and watch them dissipate and cool off.

The same thing happens with anger, hostility and resentment when we drop them and replace them with love.  The afflictive emotions that cause us to frown, go away.

They are replaced with love and joy, which cause us to smile in peace.

About a month ago, I found out that one of the two priests from our parish was in the hospital. This particular priest is not just any priest to me.  This priest is Fr. Ouellette.

Fr. Ouellette was one of the many priests at my parish when I was a young boy.  Way back then, daily mass was said several times per day at our church and altar boys were assigned to serve at each mass.  I served with Fr. Ouellette many times at these daily masses, for funerals during the school week and at weddings over the weekend. He always treated me – any everyone else -  like gold. He was one of the most appreciative people that I’ve ever known. He taught me how to show sincere appreciation for the smallest acts of kindness shown by others.

Somewhere around 1973, the Christmas masses were so crowded that we had two midnight masses – one in the beautiful, ornate upper church and a second in the darker, dingier but, just-as-large lower church. On this particular evening, this 12-year old was sick, but still wanted the honor of serving at midnight mass (even though I was relegated to the downstairs dungeon!).  I must’ve been sicker than I thought because I fainted right in the middle of the mass.  This was not just any lazy, quiet, not-get-noticed, graceful faint either.  My entire pudgy body smashed against the kneeler and caused it to crash against the solid marble altar floor with a resounding boom!  My older brother, Bill, and  my Dad rushed up to the altar to carry me into the sacristy as Fr. Ouellette looked-on to make sure that I was okay. Fr. Ouellette followed my Dad and brother into the sacristy to make sure that I was okay before proceeding with mass.  He taught me kindness and compassion.

One of the reasons that he’s been assigned to our parish almost continuously since 1973 is that his dear Mother lived in our city.  The great part of that is that he frequently incorporated stories about his family into his homilies. He wasn’t  a boring priest who spoke in monotone about God,God,God.  He was a human who had a real family. He frequently spoke about real family responsibilities and challenges from first-hand experience. He spoke of each challenge in his life with faith in God and hope and confidence that things would always turn out well. He taught me how to honor and appreciate family-especially when things are not perfect.

The St. Vincent de Paul Society is a group within the Catholic Church that cares for the poor within the parish. Its members collect food and money from the parishioners so that they’ll be able to provide for the poor on a weekly basis throughout the entire year. Fr. Ouellette has always been our biggest ambassador and salesperson. When he speaks about a topic, he never uses notes and always speaks from his heart with tremendous passion.  He doesn’t act like he cares…he cares.  He taught me sincerity and authenticity.

When I went to visit my 83-year old friend a few weeks ago, there were signs all over the door to his hospital room. Disinfect hands before entering. Caution: Infectious matter. Put-on gloves prior to entering. Dispose of gloves before leaving room. Nurses must put on gowns prior to entering. I was afraid to go in.

Once in the room, I saw my friend in bed with visible tubes everywhere  – his nose, mouth and arms.  He was having difficulty breathing. The nurse told me that he’d been unable to eat solid food for three weeks. He looked awful. His mouth was open. His lips were chapped. His arms were badly bruised from all of the the IV’s there were inserted into his veins.  I pulled up a chair and sat next to his bed and began to pray. My mind immediately came to a standstill.  Because of his age, poor health, and the obvious pain that he was in, I wasn’t sure if I was praying for him to recover or for him to die quickly and peacefully.  After a little consideration, I proceeded to pray for about 30 uninterrupted minutes for God’s will and not mine. He was so bad that I expected any one of his gasping breaths to be his last.  I was giving up hope.

All of a sudden, the silence in the room was broken. A chipper nurse entered the room to check on his vital signs. I took that opportunity to step out of the room to give my friend some privacy. From just outside the door, I could hear the nurse wake up Fr. Ouellette and tell him that he had a guest.  When I re-entered the room, he rolled over to face me.  The man who looked like he was ready to breathe his last breath, opened his eyes and said with a top-of-the-mornin’-tone, Hello Bob. I thought that he was about to die and within a matter of a few seconds, he began engaging me in conversation just as he had since 1973. How are you? It’s so good to see you.

Although his body was failing him, his teacher’s mind was as sharp as ever.  He asked me how Virginia (my Mom) was doing.  He told me what a great man Oscar (my Dad) was.  He and my Dad both went to the same high school. He went on to compliment my wife Carolyn and say what a valuable member of the parish she’s always been (not bad for a convert!).  He praised both of my kids (again by name). He then asked me about both of my brothers and sister by name. Because each of my siblings lives out of state, he hasn’t seen any of them in years. His name recollection was better than mine and I was not currently on drugs!

A few minutes ago I was considering praying for this man to die and he’s now speaking to me with his usual compassion and the memory of a teen-ager.  What was I thinking?  God does know better than I do.

Fr. Ouellette never complained (he did mention that he missed having turkey on Thanksgiving) during either of my hospital visits. For his entire life he was grateful and appreciative. He’d been lying in bed for weeks without solid food, without the ability to say mass and his thoughts were on God’s will – not his. His thoughts were on me and my family – not himself.  He always looks out for the well-being of those around him.

That is the exact attitude that he’s been preaching from the pulpit and living in his everyday life since I’ve known him. He has an unwavering faith in God. He has trust in God. He knows that God’s will is better than his. He always talks about the importance of family. He talks about how faithful and generous his parishioners are. He makes the people around him feel good about themselves.  He knows that we all make mistakes but, we can always recover.  He always has us leaning in the right direction – towards the positive, towards the good, towards God. I learned each of these things from him.

That is the type of attitude that has made Fr. Ouellette one of my family’s favorite priests -ever!  When our parish had the luxury of having 5+ priests on staff, we’d never know which priest would be celebrating at any given liturgy.  I can remember family members returning home from church saying with pleasure and thankfulness, it was Fr. Ouellette!  It was like someone had won the lottery.  He was always the gift that was given freely.

At mass last Sunday, another dear friend, Fr. Sannella walked down the center aisle of the church, leaned over, put his hand on my shoulder and whispered, Fr. Ouellette died last night.

Although I was a little sad, a smile came to my face after a few seconds of thought.  His entire life was dedicated and focused on helping people get to where he has now taken up residence. As I said prayers that night, I knew that I was not praying for Fr. Ouellette to get into heaven. He created heaven on earth for himself by living a Christ-like life each and every day.  He brought God’s presence with him wherever he went.  He now has a permanent residence in His Father’s mansion.

A friend’s daughter just walked into the coffee shop where I’m writing today. I told the beautiful 19-year old about Fr. Ouellette. She said with a proud smile, Oh, I love him, he baptized me!

Fr. Ouellette made the world a better place because of his presence: may you and I do the same each and every day.

Adversity is tough to deal with when we’re very strong.  It can feel overwhelming when we’re weak and vulnerable.  Eleven days ago I received news that made me thankful that I had built-up a strong reserve of internal strength.

My mission is to give people the tools to develop their own internal strength – mentally, spiritually and physically – so that they’ll be able to live the best lives possible each and every day.

If I haven’t said this lately, if I had to choose one of the three – and I don’t – it would be spiritual strength.

The knowledge that God exists and is dwelling within our minds and spirits is the strongest support that we can have in dealing with our every day realities. It is my faith that gives me the power to remain strong and focused during my life’s challenging times.

Having strong mental health means creating and maintaining a positive, efficacious  mind. It means that you’ve intentionally built a very strong self-image and are great at noticing each of the strong qualities in the people around you.

Maintaining a healthy body provides a peaceful home in which our minds and spirits can dwell for as many days as we’re fortunate enough to live.

With positive minds, healthy bodies and the spirit of God alive and well in our being, we’re positioning ourselves to be constructive souls across the planet. We’re also better prepared to try and understand our setbacks and the setbacks of those around us.

On December 3rd, I started receiving news from people around me that I love which made me thankful for God and my internal strength: my great friend Tracy from high school called me that day to tell me that his sister, my 47 year old friend and first girlfriend, Leah, had succumbed to breast cancer. Leah was happily married and the mother of two beautiful children. She was part of a loving family who welcomed me into their world when I was 15 years old and kept me there in their minds forever. Although Leah and I dated for only about a year, she has maintained a place in my mind and heart and will be there forever. She gave me her gift that will last a lifetime.

You and I have the ability to positively, negatively or neutrally impact each person  we touch throughout our lives.  It’s not the length of time we’re with someone, it’s the impact we have during the time that we’re given. Leah was very high-impact.

When Tracy called me to tell me of his sister’s death, I had just returned home from a 3-day business trip and was scurrying around trying to play catch-up.  At that instant, all of the very important things that I had planned for that day suddenly seemed very unimportant.  As I was listening to Tracy speak, in the back of my mind I knew that I was leaving the following morning on a 6AM flight for another 4-day trip.  I was petrified that I would be out of town during the wake and funeral. Tracy, Leah and the entire family are all very dear to me.

Leah’s funeral was held last Saturday, December 12th.  She was all I could think of that morning at home and at the gym.  I left the gym at 8:40 to make sure that I arrived at the church early.  My brand new car doesn’t have GPS and I made every possible wrong turn imaginable. Was my mind elsewhere?  Yes.  Instead of arriving between 9:15 and 9:30 for the 10AM funeral and relaxing in the parking lot, I pulled into the parking lot perspiring at about 9:50.

My compassionate friend Tracy came out into the 19 degree parking lot without a jacket, scarf or hat to greet his old friend. After signing the guest book at the back of the church and winding around the perimeter of the church in a long line of people, I found myself at the side entrance to the church which is at its’ front. The hallways, choir loft and church were filled with family and friends and every seat and space appeared to be full with the exception of the front 2 pews which were reserved for the family. I did not want to miss a single word of this service!  Out of desperation, I asked an usher if she had any suggestions where one person could sit. She turned around and pointed to a single seat just to the right of the pulpit. Am I lucky or had that exact seat been reserved for me by someone very special?

I was thankful to be seated on time prior to the arrival of the family into the church.  Once the family was seated, I realized that I had a direct line of view to Leah’s mom and dad, so I knew that I couldn’t look in that direction unless I wanted to break down uncontrollably. I’ve loved her parents for almost 35 years and couldn’t imagine the sadness that they were feeling if I was feeling despair and emptiness over a person I hadn’t even seen in 14 years. The last time that I saw Leah was at my Dad’s wake.

Leah’s beautiful sister Heidi spoke on behalf of the family.  Heidi looked me right in the eyes and gave me a big, radiant smile as she climbed the steps into the pulpit. Heidi then gave an uplifting message of joy as she spoke to Leah’s husband, children, parents, brothers, family, neighbors and friends.  Heidi wasn’t speaking to have us feel sorry or sad, she spoke to remind us how Leah lived – with smiles, light and humor and to invite us to do the same. She was a very bright light in the world who loved her family, friends, strangers and God.

The Episcopal minister was phenomenal!  It was easy for her to speak because she really knew Leah and journeyed with her during her  two-year sickness. She spoke of Leah’s concern that her children knew that she hadn’t given up on them.  Leah loved in life and she loved at the time of her death. She knew that it was time for her to leave her family and friends and to go to God. She was at peace with her awareness.  Her faith had kept her strong in spirit.

After the 55 minute service, I waited in a 30-minute line in order to get into the church hall for the reception. There was no way I could leave without seeing the family that I’ve loved so much for such a long time.  When I finally saw Leah’s mom, she gave me what might be the best hug that I’ve ever had.  The barely 5-foot woman hugged me with tremendous strength and held on to me for what must’ve been 60 seconds. Neither one of us wanted to let go.

I’ve maintained my friendship with Tracy over the years and had dinner with him on November 17th. As always, I inquired about Leah, his Mom and Dad and the rest of his family. Neither one of us knew at that time that Leah would be leaving us this soon.  We never really know when will be the last time that we’ll see, talk with, hug or kiss someone.

Wakes and funerals are always tremendous reminders for me to do those things today. I’m sure that’s what Og Mandino meant when we wrote in his book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, “I will live this day as if it is my last”.   What would I say to you if this were my last day with you?  How would I hug you?  How would I kiss you?  How would I treat you?

My life has been filled with one blessing after another. In my life today is a fantastic wife of 25 years, two phenomenal children, a loving, generous mother, two great brothers, a caring sister, numerous cousins, uncles and aunts and many dear and great friends. Each one is irreplaceable.

I felt a sense of tremendous loss when my father and mentor died 14 years ago.  I’m feeling a very similar sense of loss today over the loss of Leah. I’ve come to realize that there wouldn’t be any feeling of loss if that individual had not given so deeply of themselves to me. This knowledge allows me to be unbelievably thankful for the special time that I did have with them.  Those are the thoughts and memories that will remain with me forever.

Special people provide us with something unique that can only be given to us by them. It’s the thought of his love, her smile, his hug, her giggle, his voice or her humor that brings smiles to our faces and stirs happy memories inside.  To say that each of us is  unique is an understatement of great magnitude.  When you and I give our unique gifts to the world every day with such effort that we drop into our beds each night with nothing left to give, it’s a tremendous feeling of knowing that you’ve given all that you could to the world.  It’s a feeling that although we were not perfect, we did the absolute best that we could in everything that we did.

Each night before falling asleep I review the activities of the day and ask myself that exact question: Did I do the best that I possibly could in every circumstance throughout this day?  When the answer is yes, I’m at peace.  If the answer is no, I’ve already begun my list for tomorrow.

Only you can provide the unique gift of yourself to the world.  Your smile is unique. Your eyes are unique.  Your voice is unique.  Your spirit is unique.  You are you-nique!  Please don’t hold back. We need you to share yourself with us – today.

You cannot be replaced.

Your job can be filled.

There is no one or thing that can ever replace you.

You are truly special.

I miss you Dad.  I miss you Leah.  I’m looking forward to seeing both of you in heaven.

Signs of God’s love are everywhere when we choose to pay attention to them. There are opportunities for us to give love and receive love every single day. Smiles come to our faces as our prayers are answered in the funniest ways. It’s our responsibility to be aware of those opportunities.

I communicated last week with a friend (I’ll call her Faith) who is deeply involved with her church.  Her ministry is dedicated to serving the youth within her parish.  After ten+ years of working with them, she was wondering if it was time to move on.  In her words she said to herself, “I’m just not feeling it right now!”  She went on to say in her prayer to God, “I don’t think that I’m making a difference in their lives.  If you still want me to continue in this ministry, I’d appreciate some kind of sign”.

Faith went to the church that day to do some work and noticed a letter in her mail box.  She figured that it would be a letter from someone complaining about something.  What she found was a beautiful letter thanking her for her courageous and loving work for others within her ministry.  The envelope also contained a crisp $50 bill with instructions to “prayerfully use it where you see best in your work”.  The letter was mysteriously signed, A Friend.

Faith smiled to herself and said, “Good one, Lord.  You really know how to answer my prayers and give me a good slap on the head at the same time!”

After leaving the church filled with the love of God in her heart, Faith headed to the post office to mail a few letters. She accidentally missed the post office closest to her home and found herself driving toward the main post office downtown which is about 2 miles further from her home.

When Faith got into the post office parking lot, she noticed a van with fluorescent pieces of poster board taped to it with sayings written on them in black magic marker such as, “Free food. Feeding all families in need. Evangelical Ministries”.  Another read: “Love one another as I have loved you, says the Lord, Jesus Christ.”

A couple of seconds after noticing the van, a man got out of the driver’s side who looked very discouraged and worn down.  For some reason, Faith waived at the man and he approached her. Faith then said to the man, “Excuse me, but I think I’m supposed to give this to you.”  Faith handed the stranger the $50 bill.

The man (let’s call him Bill) went on to tell Faith that he was called into the ministry of feeding and worshiping with the hungry.  He lines up tables filled with food in the center of town each Saturday and feeds people while they pray together.  Because times have been so tough lately, he’s found the ministry’s finances so tight that he was unable to pay the rent on the van.  On that day, he got down on his knees and prayed, “Lord, You’ve called us to this ministry and You’ve always provided what we need to do Your work. But Lord, You know we have to rent this van to collect and distribute this food. And, Lord, we don’t have the $50 to pay for the van this week. I’m asking you to provide what we need.”

Faith and Bill  proceeded to pray with and for each other right smack center of the post office parking lot.  In addition to praying for each other’s ministry, they prayed that each would continue to have faith that God will always provide whatever they need to fulfill the ministries that He’s called them to.

Faith realized that when she was questioning her ministry, she was asking herself lots of  I and Me questions:  “ Am I still….?”,  “Is it good for me…?”  She noticed to herself that whenever our thoughts are focused on “I” or “me”, our thoughts drown out God’s thoughts.

Faith’s prayers were answered by God in the form of a hand-written letter, receipt of a $50 bill and prayers from Rev. Bill.

Rev. Bill’s prayers were answered by God in the form of kindness, prayer and a $50 bill from Faith.

Faith will allow us to pay the Bills.

A Spark to Ignite Your Joy

Download A Spark to Ignite Your Joy and Faith
Right click the link and click save as.

Thank you for your interest in this ebook, and being a part of our community of faith.

This book as a continuation of my mission to bring peace to the world, through the increase in wisdom and knowledge. We believe that peace will only come when each of us has peace in our own minds and hearts and when each of us is living a life of love and compassion within our own family and community on a daily basis.

Cultures are comprised of the collective thoughts of the individuals within a particular group of people. Groups of like-minded people form mini-cultures within families, cities, regions and countries around the world. Although our unique cultures are good and provide us with wonderful richness and diversity, we sometimes lose track of our commonality as humans as we focus on our differences instead of all that we have in common.

Peace will come as we spread the message of our spiritual connection to each human in the world. If each person is truly a spiritual brother and sister, it makes no sense whatsoever to continue practices, which cause us to hate, hurt and kill one another.

My primary strategy for bringing peace is to do it one mind at a time by increasing the knowledge of the principles of peace, love and compassion that are found within the world of faith. I believe that it is usually our ignorance on a particular subject that causes us to fear or hate another person or group of people.  Wisdom, which comes as a result of education, typically resides in the area of our minds that used to be taken up by fear and ignorance.

This foundation brings the best practices and wisdom from the worlds of faith and psychology into easily understood and simple practices that can be implemented on a daily basis.  Practices include reading, prayer, meditation, community service and the recitation of affirmations to slowly fill our minds and souls with loving and peaceful thoughts. If our thoughts are loving and peaceful, our actions will also be loving and peaceful.

Please accept this e-book as a small gesture of thanks for the role that you’ve played in communicating this message so far. I invite you to forward this book to every person in your family, company or school and entire network who will either benefit from its contents or assist us in spreading its message.

Peace and love,
Bob

You can download the free e-book here.

Prior to the Fort Hood killings, Reverend David Rinas, a Lutheran Minister in Chelmsford, Massachusetts and Imam Hafiz Abdul Hannan from the Islamic Society of Greater Lowell (MA) had planned an Interfaith Thanksgiving Service. The timing of their service could not have been any better. It was a great time for people within Massachusetts to learn more about Islam and other faiths different than their own.

When I saw the notice in my local paper announcing the service, I immediately tore the clipping out and entered the 7PM service into my Blackberry.  That slot was locked-in on my calendar for several days until I found out on Sunday morning that the New England Patriots-New York Jets games started at 4:15 (which meant it wouldn’t end until about 7:30PM)  The interfaith service would significantly cut-into an evening of relaxing football!

As it got to be about 5:30PM, it was pitch black, cold and raw in Massachusetts.  I was comfortably settled in front of the football game with the gas fireplace in our family room cranked to the temperature of a pizza oven. I had to decide whether to finish the football game while toasty warm, or change clothes, freshen-up and head-out into the dark, dreary night.

Why does doing the right think always make us feel good?

I strolled into the Trinity Lutheran Church at about 6:55PM after listening to the Patriots game on my car radio in the church parking lot up until the last minute.  Like most church services that I’ve ever been to, most of the people there were seated in the middle of the church toward the back.  There were plenty of seats available at the front on the left-hand side, so I headed in that direction so that I’d be able to see and have a little breathing room (H1N1 is everywhere!).

At about 6:58, about 6 people and an infant chose the row directly in front of my pew and settled-in comfortably making sure to completely obstruct this 5 foot 8 inch man’s perfect view of the lectern and altar.

After a short greeting by Rev. Rinas, John Kurland from Congregation Shalom lead us in this prayer:

God of all creation, we stand in awe before You, impelled by visions of the harmony of humanity.   We are children of many traditions–inheritors of shared wisdom and tragic misunderstandings, of proud hopes and humble successes.  Now it is time for us to meet and worship–in memory and truth, in courage and trust, in love and promise.

In that which we share, let us see the common prayer of humanity; in that which we differ, let us wonder at the freedom of all; in our unity and our differences, let us know the uniqueness that is God.

May our courage match our convictions, and our integrity match our hope. May our gratitude and thankfulness which brings us together today unite our hearts in love. May our faith in You bring us closer to each other.  May our meeting with past and present bring blessing for the future.

Amen.

What football game? At about 7:02, I knew that I had made the right decision to leave the pizza oven and venture into the cold church that was full of warmth.

The 80 minute service alternated between music and prayer. A member from each faith lead us in a prayer that was deemed appropriate by each of the clergy prior to the service.  They got together to decide how to focus on all that we had in common rather than focus on our differences.  I love that!

One of the guys in front of me who was obstructing my view had the red hymnal open but, was not singing.  It appeared as if he had a piece of paper in the hymnal that he was studying while pretending to be looking at the hymnal.

When it came time for the recitation from the Quran, that man got up and proceeded to the lectern. The most touching part of the evening for me was scripture sung from the Quran in Arabic.  His voice trembled from nerves at the beginning most likely because he was out of his comfort zone–I think that everyone else was too. He quickly settled in to singing the Word of Allah.  Muslims are serious about their faith.

Knowing the little that I do about meditation, the body is divided into 7-8 chakras (energy centers) that start from the base of the spine and proceed up to the tip of the head (the crown chakra). The chakras are called energy centers because these are the places where we have large collections of nerves that can frequently become stuck.  Yoga, meditation and chiropractic are all ways of making sure that these chakras are working properly. When each of them is working properly, our body is at ease and free from dis-ease.

Each of the chakras is related to a unique color and  note from the musical C-scale.  Having the scripture sung to me seemed to touch each of my chakras as his chanting resonated with each energy center from the base of my spine up to my crown.

What I now realized is that I had been lucky enough to sit in the section where the Muslims decided to sit.  In addition to the man who chanted from the Quran, the Imam’s wife was to my right and immediately in front of me was a young couple who had a 5-month old infant in a bassinet in-between them.  Amir (the Dad) could not have payed any more attention to his beautiful little daughter if he tried.  She was gorgeous as she sat there sleeping through most of the service waking up only to have the pacifier returned to her mouth or for a sip from the bottle. When Amir’s daughter occasionally woke up, her beautiful, sparkling eyes were looking directly into mine as if she were peering into my soul.  Her Dad turned around and looked at me for the first time to try and figure out who or what she was looking at so intently.

The keynote speaker was the Imam from the Islamic Society.  If I ever had a doubt about our ability to have Unity Consciousness become our collective reality across the globe, that thought was quickly removed. The Imam and each of the clergy from every faith focused on a common God and the common spirit present in every human.

While Imam Hannan was talking about Islam and how Muslims pray 5 times per day, he also told us how they are thankful for so many things including simple things like clothing.   He reminded us that each of us has so many things to be thankful for that we could never count all of Allah’s blessings bestowed upon us.  Well said.

He went on to say that although Thanksgiving is largely a North American tradition, we should include each member of our global family into our prayers of Thanksgiving and not restrict our thanks and blessings to the United States or Canada only.

The service ended with Rev. Rinas, suggesting that we introduce ourselves to each other before going into the hall for coffee and baked goods. Because of the H1N1 virus precaution, the Lutheran church members have stopped shaking hands and instead started touching each other’s wrists. Because Muslim women are prohibited from touching other men, we were asked to either bow or give a visual hello or sign of peace to each other.

I said hello to the man who had sung the Quran scriptures and told him what a great voice he had. He smiled with appreciation. Amir (the little girl’s Dad) had left the church for a few minutes when his daughter had started crying and didn’t hear the announcement about no hand shaking.   He gave me a big, bright smile that came close to matching the brightness of his daughter’s eyes as he extended his hand as a sign of peace. I ignored the no-hand-shaking rule and eagerly extended my hand to my new friend as I told him how lovely his daughter was.

I didn’t want to leave the football game and drive 15 minutes to get to get to the service. Amir and his wife got their 5-month old daughter bundled up and drove 45 minutes to get to the service to hear his friend – Imam Hannan – speak.  What was I thinking?

Our world is small.

We are all the same at our core.  We’re humans who fall in love with other humans.  We care deeply for our children.  Many of us have come to know God through the faith we learned as a child or deliberately chose as adults.  The more that we learn about each other, the more it becomes easy for us to love each other.

Knowledge brings us together, but it is knowledge of God’s love for us that makes it easy to love each other.

Listen to this post!
 

This weekend, I attended a wake and funeral for a long-time friend’s Dad. Funerals and wakes are great places of unity because people of all backgrounds, faiths and incomes come together in one place to pray for and respect the deceased and to support those who are living.

Because the services were on Cape Cod in Massachusetts (about 2 hours from my home), I had the chance to spend Friday afternoon and evening after the wake and Saturday morning prior to the funeral with my in-laws.  During several hours of conversation over dinner, they asked me about one of my recent posts about Unity Consciousness. When I started engaging them on this topic, it brought back memories from 26 years ago for the three of us.

That was when I asked their daughter to marry me.  They were petrified because their 20-year-old Congregationalist (Protestant denomination) daughter was engaged to a 23-year-old Catholic. Beyond the usual parental sentiment that no one would ever be good enough for their daughter, my in-laws had several fears based on this inter-faith match:

• Catholicism teaches that our faith is the right faith and everyone else’s is wrong. | Fear #1: we would be married in a Catholic church and they would feel uncomfortable to the point of not attending their own daughter’s wedding.
• Catholics have traditionally not treated Protestants well. | Fear #2: my future bride would not be seen by me and my family as an equal in our marriage because she didn’t share our faith.
• Catholicism teaches against birth control. | Fear #3: Carolyn would become pregnant and be unable to earn her college degree and unable to support the baby should we get divorced.

I give you that background because fear is a very strong emotion that gets in the way of our ability to love and our ability to learn. Fear frequently puts up an artificial barrier which prevents us from hearing, seeing and learning the truth.  Fear inhibits our senses and ability to receive new, helpful and valuable information (fear causes us to act sense-less).

A natural instinct for many of us is to focus on the differences which exist between people rather than focus on and appreciate all that we have in common. After 25 years of marriage, my in-laws and I laugh at the fear that wasn’t funny for any of us at the time. Not only do we attend each other’s church services when visiting each other, my fantastic father-in-law sings with our choir on Christmas eve each year.  Each of the fears has been transformed into tremendous love and understanding.

My basic definition of Unity Consciousness is an awareness that each person in the world is our brother and sister and is connected to us and to God by the spirit of God that resides in each of us.

Each of us was born innocent and good.  For a variety of external reasons, some of us have turned away from good and hold bitterness, hatred and fear in our minds and souls. Ignorance, hatred and fear are signs of an absence of God.

An awareness of Unity Consciousness, allows us to look at each person with God-sense.  God-sense is perceiving humans with God’s senses of love, understanding and compassion.

It’s through a conversion of mind and soul that disenfranchised people will come together and live in happiness and peace with all humans.

As I began thinking about states of mind and faith that each of the 6.7 billion people in the world might fall into, I came up with the following categories:

People of differing faiths who believe in God, whatever his name may be

People of differing faiths who don’t believe in a God, but practice actions that are similar: love, compassion, wisdom

People who were raised within a faith community who do not make their faith – God or Spirituality – a part of their daily lives

People who have been raised without any practical knowledge of God, spirituality or religion

In my opinion, there is a huge overlap between the first two categories. What I mean by that is people of faith – whether they worship a God or not – display many of the same characteristics.  The faith that they follow allows them to pursue a life that is led with love, compassion, wisdom and a pursuit of peace (internal first, external after that).

Are there gaps that exist between different faiths? Yes.

Are the gaps easily filled in as a result of conversation and understanding? Yes.

Can each of us learn from faiths that are different than ours? Yes - once we are open to expansion of thought.

In every relationship that we have, we have to choose whether we want to focus on all that we have in common and on all of the good that exists within the other person or whether we’d like to focus on the thing(s) that we don’t have in common or that we don’t like about this individual.

If we chose to distance ourselves from people who are different than we are or from people who display traits that we don’t find attractive, we’d all be hermits. When we choose to focus on all things that unite us, we’re able to surround ourselves with friends from every nation, faith and socio-economic class. We become full of love and compassion and absent of fear.

The third and fourth categories have much in common too. These two categories also have people with gaps in their potential. In these cases, the gaps exist because of religion gone bad or because of a gap in knowledge – education.

I define religion gone bad as when an individual becomes turned-off to faith because of an interaction or incident with a relative (parent, grandparent, sibling), or clergy that has caused them to divorce themselves from that faith, and frequently from all organized religion.

I love this passage from James (1:27): Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. Religion in and of itself is good. It can be abused and misused by people.  The tongue is a very useful and helpful body part.  It too can be misused and become an instrument that harms rather than heals.  I choose to keep religion and my tongue but, endeavor to use both as tools of love and peace.

I would say that the gaps in knowledge that exist in each of us can be easily filled-in with education. When one becomes exposed to the words of Jesus by reading the new testament or to Buddhism by reading the writings of the Dalai Lama, how could anyone not embrace these ways of thinking, acting and living?

Until each of us reaches perfection and comes into perfect truth, fullness and knowledge of God, gaps exist in each of us. Those gaps are filled through a daily practice that is designed to close the gaps (distance) that exist between us and God.

Buddhists have created the antidotes to the afflictive emotions of lust, hatred and ignorance.  The antidotes are love, compassion and wisdom.

Enlightenment comes as a result of a daily pursuit of faith, hope, love and knowledge.  It comes to us via prayer, meditation, reading, service to others and worship. It’s an environment where everyone is welcomed and appreciated. The more that we serve God and others and come to understand God and others, the more we come to know and understand ourselves.

At wakes and funerals, everyone is welcomed and appreciated. They are a time to focus on our spiritual life on earth and our spiritual life after the death of our earthly bodies. We go to wakes and funerals out of service to others and end up reflecting on our own lives and our own spirituality.

Unity Consciousness is our united relationship with God and with all humans.

Listen to this post
 

“And he came and preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who were near; for through him we both have access in one Spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers and sojourners, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure is joined together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord; in whom you also are built into it for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.”

That message is from Paul’s writing to the Ephesians – Chapter 2.  I wrote to you earlier about our ability to change our lives at any age and at any stage by finding God in the silence of our hearts and minds.  It is in our silence that we come to know and hear God. It is in that silence that we allow God’s Spirit to dwell within our earthly bodies.

It is in these times of silence – prayer, inspirational readings, meditation- in which we develop our faith in God and ourselves, our hope and trust in God and ourselves and our deep passionate love of God and ourselves. For it is in our relationship with the Holy Spirit of God that dwells in each of us that we are united with God, our families and with each human around the world.  We become conscious that we are truly united with each person once we realize that the Spirit that resides within you is the same Spirit that resides within each other person.

When we’ve developed our unity consciousness we no longer feel alone because of our relationship with God and with all people. We realize that we’re not separate but, in fact we are one in the Spirit.

The Spirit of God does dwell in each human in the world. For many people, that Spirit is waiting for our invitation to “invite God in” to our selves.  It’s only when we allow all of our thoughts to disappear in silence that we enable God’s thoughts to become dominant in our minds.

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with might through his Spirit in the inner man, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have power to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”  Ephesians 3

In the above message from Paul, he is writing to the Ephesians to tell them that he is praying for them constantly. His desire is for their hearts to be filled with Christ, that their beings be rooted and grounded in love and that they may be filled with all the fulness of God!

Can you begin contemplating those three desires for yourself? Try meditating on these thoughts for a little while each day:

May my heart be filled with Christ.

May my being be rooted and grounded in love.

May I be filled with all the fullness of God.

As we continue this process of continuous change and improvement, the benchmark that I’m aiming for is quite simple: To become Christ-like. When I say that it’s simple, I mean it. Jesus didn’t bring us a lot of rules and laws to obey. He brought us messages of love such as  “Love one another as I have loved you.” He brought us a message of compassion, “Whatsoever you do to the least of my people that you do unto me.”  He brought us the message of forgiveness with, “He or she who is without sin may cast the first stone.”

My brothers and sisters, be loving, compassionate and forgiving.

After praying and meditating on the above intentions for a period of time a strong feeling of peace will overtake your entire being.  We are literally filling our mind, heart and entire being with all that is good – all that is God. We are at peace because there is no fear when we are filled with God.  When we’re in touch with the Holy Spirit that dwells within us and know that that same Spirit resides in all humans, we become masters at noticing the positive traits and qualities that are abundant but, sometimes hidden in the people around us.

Once we’ve filled our minds, hearts and being with God’s peace, it becomes natural to wish and pray for these feelings for our family members and people we love.  The prayers and meditations might sound like:

May your heart be filled with Christ. (I usually think of a specific person that I’m praying for)

May your being be rooted and grounded in love.

May you be filled with all the fullness of God.

Over time, it becomes natural to desire these feelings for people whom we feel neutral about and for people who may have hurt us in the past or whom we’re finding it difficult to love.  I can almost feel my heart melting and softening as I pray those intentions for people who I barely know and especially for people that I do know – family and friends – who have been estranged.

We all know the song  “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.”  I now understand what that song really means.  The only place that I can find true peace is with my relationship with God.  With God there is nothing but love, there is no room for fear. There is no room for hatred.

Once that peace dwells within us, we become beacons of light bringing God’s peace and love to our families, our communities and our places of work.

When the Spirit of God is nourished inside of you, your light is shining bright and visible in your eyes and your smile. Just by looking at people with your sparkling, compassionate eyes and loving smile, you’re bringing God to those around you.

You and I are the light of the world when we bring the love, peace and compassion that is solidly rooted within every cell of our beings into the world.

May the peace and love of God be with you. May you share your loving, peaceful gifts with all those around you.