Do you sometimes find it challenging to love the people in your family? Your spouse, roommate or the children that you’ve been blessed with are sometimes the most difficult to love. Simply allowing our closest family members to be their imperfect selves can be a challenge.

If it takes practice to be able to remain present with the people we love and remain nonjudgmental, how much awareness and compassion does it take to love those who are sometimes considered to be the “least of God’s children” among us?

A dear friend of mine has touched me twice in the last month with her compassion.  The first instance was when she told me that she’ll be teaching in a prison system next fall.  She’s a writer and college professor and she’s going to bring her gifts to people in prison who don’t get much love or attention from anyone.  How much will she be able to positively impact those troubled minds and souls with her gifts of caring and her passion for writing?  She will melt the hearts of people whose hearts have grown cold and bitter.

This same friend was visiting D.C. last week and from her hotel room she noticed a police woman walking from bench to bench waking up the street people to get them to move along so that the area would be more “presentable” for the businesses in the area.  Following the police woman was a little Asian woman who was handing out bottles of water, smiles and a warm “good morning” to each soul. Wow! “Humanity at it’s best”, said my friend.

Each human in the world shares the same air, water and spirit of God. We are connected to each other whether we acknowledge it or not. There is no separation.

Loving others is loving ourself. Loving others is loving God. You are love.

Don’t miss GregoireToday on Friday 9/03 at 1:30 pm ET / 10:30 am PT!

PRAGITO is an internationally recognized author, trainer and meditation master. She incorporates her experience from 25 years teaching and her own personal and spiritual inquiry. Since 1988 she has worked with executives and employees at organizations including NASA, Autodesk, the UCSF Cancer Resource Center and The Goldie Hawn Institute.

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Last Friday I had the pleasure of interviewing Jimi Calhoun, the author of “A Story of Rhythm and Grace: What the Church Can Learn from Rock and Roll about Healing the Racial Divide.”  From his broad perspective as a professional musician and pastor, we talked about ways to promote love and unity within the church.

In Jimi’s book the concept of tribalism is discussed as it relates to diversity (or lack of) within many Christian churches. Tribalism is defined as “the possession of a strong cultural or ethnic identity that separates oneself as a member of one group from the members of another.

There has been a lot of discussion over the last several weeks about President Obama’s faith.  According to a recent survey, approximately 18% of people believe that he’s a Muslim, 35% think that he is Christian.

Why do we even care?

There was a time when it would have been unheard of to have a Catholic president. That seemed to work out okay. Now we have a Black president who seems to be doing about as well in the eyes of the American public as many of his caucasian predecessors. Because we all fear differences of any sort, many people are afraid that he might be Muslim. If he were Muslim, what difference would that make?

Muslims, Jews,  Hindus, Christians and people of all faiths are worshiping and praying to the same God. There is only one God. Each of us has come to know and love God primarily as a result of the faith we were born into.

A problem for many of us is that our “birth faith” is the only faith we know. Not only that, but we don’t even understand our birth faith that well. The thought of trying to understand any one else’s can be intimidating.  We fear what we don’t understand.

Humans make-up a Universal Tribe that consists of 6.8 billion members. The Universal Tribe is called the Family of God. Geography, nationalities, religions, political parties, languages and sexual preferences have allowed us to isolate from one another on islands of fear and loneliness.  We know that there are other humans  on the next block, island or continent, but we fear that we don’t have anything in common with them. Or, we fear that there are just too many differences to bridge the gap. What could we possibly have in common?

Eliminating our fears over the perceived differences with others is quite simple:

•  Smile and say “hello” to a stranger.
• Walk across the street and dine in a “strange” restaurant.
• Get in a canoe and paddle to the next island with a smile and a bottle of wine.
• Book a flight and visit another country- one very different from your own.
• Walk into a church, temple, synagogue or mosque of a different faith and watch one of their services.

You’ll find people who are remarkably similar to you. You’ll notice that they breathe, sleep, love their children, enjoy eating, appreciate music, like to laugh, want to be hugged and love God very deeply.

You’ll understand with every fibre of your being that your fear was unfounded.  All people are good. All faiths are good. All foods are good. All music is good. Our goal is to acclimate ourselves to the new.  We do so with the attitude that “good exists within every person.” When we look for the good, that is what we see.

When we deliberately break out of the comfort zone of our tribe, we learn about the beautiful diversity that exists very close by. Enjoy the smells. Savor the tastes. Embrace the warm hugs. Dance to the music.  Experience scripture that is not from your “birth faith.”

We don’t have to give-up our faith or any part of who we are in order to reach out and embrace others. 

Let yourself extend beyond your small, comfortable tribe to hold the hand and embrace another from the Universal Tribe. The bridge is always love and is the exact length of your arm.

Knowing that I am created in the image and likeness of God, I eagerly embrace opportunities to love, uplift and unite all of my brothers and sisters.

Jimi Calhoun is originally from the San Francisco Bay Area. After demonstrating an aptitude to play several musical instruments he settled on the bass guitar and embarked on a career path that would take him around the world.

During one of his trips to England he became interested in spirituality and began to explore a variety of paths searching for God and inner peace. Jimi’s spiritual odyssey included a couple of brief stops to study Buddhism and Metaphysics. Jimi also studied martial arts which he continues to incorporate into his spiritual disciplines to this day.

Jimi’s spiritual quest would ultimately lead him to return to his Christian roots. He became an ordained minister which would again lead him to travel around the world – this time not as a rock and roll musician, but as a messenger of God’s love for people, and an instrument of healing between them.

As Calhoun interweaves personal stories with reflections on race, he challenges Christians to reach out for racial healing and reconciliation and offers hope for racial harmony in the church and in the broader culture. EXCERPT I’ve lived my life in two cities. One city, popular culture, has made racial tolerance as a very high priority in recent times. The other city, the primarily white evangelical community, has emphasized loving God and loving people as a core value and an indication of authentic faith.

www.jimicalhoun.org

Rabbi Shmuley Boteach is one of the world’s leading relationship experts and spiritual authorities. His twenty-two books have been bestsellers in seventeen languages, and his award-winning syndicated column is read by a global audience of millions. He is the host of TLC’s award-winning Shalom in the Home and was Oprah Winfrey’s love, marriage, and parenting expert on Oprah and Friends. He served for eleven years as rabbi at Oxford University, where he built the Oxford L’Chaim Society into the University’s second largest student organization. Today, Newsweek calls him the most famous rabbi in America. The winner of the highly prestigious London Times Preacher of the Year award, Rabbi Shmuley is also the recipient of the National Fatherhood Award and the American Jewish Press Association’s Highest Award for Excellence in Commentary. He lives in New Jersey with his wife, Debbie, and their nine children.

Our culture is showing the cracks of a growing fracture. Soaring divorce rates; a crippled economy that rewards the few and punishes the many; religious-fueled hatred; record rates of depression-the headlines paint a grim picture. We inhabit a society that desperately needs fixing. But as Rabbi Shmuley Boteach reveals in his new book,Renewal, our society can made whole again when we as individuals make the choice to live a life based on values. For too long, conversations about values have been derailed by political movements trying to score points over hot-button issues like gay marriage or abortion. Boteach, one of our wisest and most respected counselors and spiritual experts, reaches deep into our history and into our shared religious legacy to revive the key universal values of Judaism for our struggling world. He presents these age-old ideas as guideposts for the challenges of modern times.

www.shmuley.com

I just purchased lunch at  the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport.  I deliberately chose a roast beef sandwich with american cheese on white bread and mustard for lunch. It went against my beliefs about healthy food choices that I’ve been using for about a decade to maintain a healthy body inside and out.

Would I ever eat white bread?  Never.  Roast Beef? Rarely (Ha Ha!) American cheese? Never.

I found out last week that the marble-size kidney stone that was removed about a month ago from my bladder was made of calcium oxylate. I also know that I have several smaller stones in my left kidney and that if I don’t make changes to my diet, I have enough calcium in my urine to create and pass a new kidney stone every other day.

Now, that sounds like fun!

I’ve been modifying my eating habits for the last 25 years to try and achieve the best physical health possible. I’ve made the modifications  based upon the best information available from Men’s Health, my yoga/spin/pilates – instructor wife, my personal trainers and my very knowledgable and exceptionally healthy general practitioner.

Here is what my typical diet looked like last Wednesday:

• Breakfast: Bran buds, oatmeal (or oat bran), whey protein or almonds, coffee with low fat soy milk, vitamin C supplement, men’s multi vitamin and pomegranate juice.
• Lunch: All natural organic peanut butter, whole grain oat bran wrap, sugar-free jelly and low-fat cottage cheese.
• Dinner: Protein (salmon, chicken), whole grain rice/potatoes and vegetables for dinner.
• Snacks In-between meals: Protein bars or a whey/soy milk/blueberries/yogurt shake.

What’s foods should be eliminated or drastically reduced from my diet as a result of last Wednesday’s urology visit?  Bran Buds, whey protein, soy products, whole grains, potatoes, spinach/dark leafy vegetables, peanut butter (all nut butters), peanuts, almonds, brown rice and every single protein bar on the market (they all contain soy,  and most contain peanuts too.) Oatmeal, yogurt, blueberries and coffee should not be consumed more than once per day. Vitamin C supplements and my multi-vitamin have been removed from my diet because they contain too much calcium. The list goes on.

What’s in the new diet? As much meat, white rice, milk, cheese, water, green tea  and red wine (thankfully!) as I like. There is a list of foods broken down into 3 categories: Eliminate them;  Okay in moderation (1/day);  Eat as much as you want.

Although my old nutrition plan had the rest of my body functioning perfectly, the clean diet that I was maintaining was very detrimental to my kidneys. That diet is not right (for me) because of my predisposition to kidney stones (my Dad had them.)

There is no perfect – anything.

Your life is a series of choices which lead you closer to the ideal body, mind, soul  and relationships for YOU.  Although there are fundamental philosophies which are consistent for mental, spiritual and physical health, it’s up to you to create the customized routines and ingredients which work for you. It’s take work and diligence, but it’s very attainable!

When our old beliefs (about anything) stop serving us, it’s time to create or discover new, updated beliefs to replace them.

Are you open to changing your beliefs in order to improve your life and the life of those around you?

In an 8/23 article in USAToday, Cathy Lynn Grossman asks us, “Were you praying or playing this past weekend?”  The title of the piece is, “No weekend worship for Obama, most Americans.”

Although President Obama did not attend public worship at any of the 17 Protestant churches on Martha’s Vineyard, it’s possible that he spoke with a minister, prayed in private or conducted some other worship practice in the privacy of his hotel.  According to the Gallop poll stats in the piece, that puts our President with  the 45% of us who say that we seldom (25%) or never (20%) attend weekend worship at a church, synagogue or mosque.

Why do almost half of us seldom or never attend weekend worship? I think that one reason is that it’s no longer a habit. Most of us do not proactively allocate time on a daily basis for exercise, healthy eating habits or spending time in the morning in prayer, mediation or studying scripture.   We tell ourselves that we are so overwhelmed with work, family, chores around the house and school activities that we don’t have time for the activities  that cause us to nourish ourselves.  Sometimes we allow habits of lesser value to take the place of habits with higher value.

Can you visualize how you would look and feel if you had exercised and spent time in prayer/meditation/reading of scripture  prior to the rest of the world waking up?

Another reason for not engaging in activities or practices that nurture ourselves is that we instinctively spend time each day on mindless activities that we think will allow us to “check-out” and relax. These activities include watching television, surfing the web, engaging in social media, doing cross-word puzzles, etc.  Although these are activities that we need occasionally, we allow them to become default behaviors that suck too much valuable time out of every day.  Too often when we’re done doing them, we feel empty and even more tired!

Can you visualize reducing or eliminating the time spent on activities that are not nourishing and replacing them with ones which build your mind, body and  soul?

My personal experience tells me that the activities that we tend to avoid – exercise, going to church, prayer, planing ahead for healthy eating habits, attending a wake or funeral- are the exact activities that cause us to feel great after we’ve completed them.

I’ve never left church, the gym, meditation, prayer or attended a wake or funeral and felt worse. The things that we don’t think that we want to do are the exact things that cause us to feel great!

When we value our bodies as the temples in which our souls reside, we spend time nourishing them with healthy food, daily exercise and the proper amount of sleep. We feel better after we do it.

When we value our minds and souls, we invest time on a daily basis  engaging in the activities that nourish them.  After we meditate, pray, or study scripture our minds and souls are uplifted.

Weekly public worship is one part of a built-in strategy for nurturing your soul and the souls of the people within your family and community.

If you don’t think that you need to be there, who are the people that you’re not serving when you don’t go?

We go to church, temple or synagogue to unite with God and to unite our souls with the souls of others.  Unity is the major component of a faith commUNITY.

A female teenager  shared with a friend of mine whom she had recently met, “I go to the church that I go to primarily for the music!  I wear a cross, but I don’t know if I’m a Christian?”

Many teens talk incessantly about music, movies, clothing and social media and this young lady just blurts out statements and questions about faith to a perfect stranger! How wonderful.

My friend followed up the girl’s comments with, “Why do you wear the cross?”  She said, “I wear the cross because my Dad gave it to me and I feel close to him when I wear it.”

I found out that the girl’s parents were not in her life any more, so her grandma had been watching over her temporarily.

We learn our values from watching our parents and guardians. Quite often, we adopt their values and beliefs- whether they’re positive or negative. When parents take us to the synagogue, mosque or church we learn that there is something important going on there. When we’re young, we are not quite sure why our parents are going there and bringing us, but we’re determined to find out.

When prayer is a part of life at home and a weekly ritual at a house of worship, we learn that the people we love value God – and God’s values.  When we attend a house of worship with them, it may be the music that first resonates with us. Besides being moved by the melodies and harmonies, certain key words keep getting repeated in the songs – love, worship, forgiveness, compassion, justice, wisdom. Those words become imprinted in our minds – often attached to a melody- and become a part of our being. 

We oftentimes learn about service to God and service to others at these houses of worship.  They frequently become the focal point for activities with our parents, siblings and other families. We end up at car washes, mission trips, blood drives, clothing drives and delivering turkeys to the homes of the poor within our community during the holidays. We see our parents doing things for others and we learn how good that it feels.

We start associating the concept of serving others with service to God.  We learn that when we’re loving and serving others, we’re loving and serving God. We learn how good it feels to love other people.

We sometimes notice a piece of jewelry or other symbol that is being worn out of respect to the God that we’ve never seen but who seems to be very important to the people we love. When we see our parents or guardians as mentors, we start to become like them and value what they value. We may start wearing a Star of David, a cross or other symbol because it was given to us as a gift or we buy it for ourself because we want to be just like Mom or Dad.

We worship with our parents to learn what is of value to God. Ideally, God’s values will become our values.  God’s values are the most precious gifts that we can pass on to our children.

The symbols that we choose to wear or display – stars, crosses, crescents, Buddhas, etc. -  are reminders of those values and the people in our life who taught us those values. The cross that I wear around my neck reminds me of God, my values and my Dad.  The three are intertwined.

Wearing a piece of jewelry does not make us Jewish, Christian, Hindu or any other religion. It may be a visible reminder of what we believe, what we value and the type of life that we’re attempting to live.

A life in alignment with God is best shown by our love and in our actions..

Energy and creativity are produced as a result of setting goals, so I have grand goals in place for each valued segment of my life.

On Monday, I read the story in the New York times about the “Afghan Couple Stoned to Death on Taliban Orders”

In the U.S., lethal injection is an acceptable way to take the life of those we consider to be unworthy of the life given to them by God.  Is lethal injection acceptable and okay, but stoning barbaric or is every form of taking the life of another human wrong?

At what point in life does an innocent, beautiful, little infant become impregnated with a belief that it makes sense and is ethical to pick up  stones and continue  hurling them at another human with the intent of taking that person’s life?  Who taught us that this makes sense?   Why did we listen?

How grievous would the offense have to be for any of us to feel justified killing another human? “I am right in each of my beliefs, therefore you must be wrong.  For your obviously mistaken beliefs and actions, you shall lose your life!”

Beliefs can spread from one mind to another very quickly. That’s good when the beliefs are positive and life affirming. When the beliefs are destructive, judgmental and hateful, they can cause neighbors and family members to pick up stones and hurl them at other living souls. They can cause wars to be fought where the people on the ground don’t have a clue as to why they’re fighting or as to how the war will be won.

When we were toddlers and began to take toys that were not ours or started pinching or biting other children we were told by a loved one, “Stop it! That’s not how we treat other children. Be nice to her. Hug him, don’t hit him!”

At some point along the way, something happens to us which causes us to take on beliefs that our life is somehow more valuable and precious than another human’s.  We adopt a belief that our country is a superior country to all others.  We adopt an attitude that our faith is the only conceivable “truth”  and any human who doesn’t believe in and worship MY God is wrong.

How did we become so self-righteous?

Isn’t every crime, offense or sin committed due to a lack of some sort? As humans, we never have all of the information that is available.  We lack wisdom, education, understanding, knowledge or Spirit.  If you and I occasionally take on beliefs that are wrong, misguided or based upon incomplete information, can’t we develop compassion for others who do the same?  Of course we can.

Who am I to judge the actions of another human? Each person on the planet is doing the best that he or she can based upon the unique set of beliefs that they’ve taken on over the course of their lifetime.

If we adopt the belief that every person is good – at heart and soul -  but may be lacking in something vital – love, education, Spirit – we can work to assist the person to close the gap.

Love, understanding, education and kindness bring miraculous healing and peace to the world – one individual at a time.

We are one in the Spirit. When we hurt or kill others, we’re hurting and killing ourself.

God summons humankind to the abode of peace (dar as-salam), both in this life and in the next. (Qur’an 10:25)

Peace be with you.