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Over this last weekend, I played the organ and sang at three masses at our church. Our regular music minister had to go and assist a daughter at the last minute and asked me if I’d fill-in for her at each of her masses. I immediately said “yes” so that she could return her attention to her daughter. Although I have a piano at home and have been playing the piano since I was 5, I don’t play much any more and I was not 100% comfortable with the organ, the sound system or the songs for this weekend.
The 4PM mass on Saturday went pretty well. On Sunday at 9AM, my wife, my 15-year old daughter and several neighbors and friends were present and all sitting right up front. As I was finishing the end of a song, I must’ve taken my eye off the music for just long enough to get out of alignment between what I was singing and what I was playing. I ended the song on the wrong chord with several wrong notes. It was like a car crash!!!
My eyes went immediately to my wife (who is not close to being a musician) and I saw the look on her face that said, “How could you have made such a horrendous mistake!”? If she knew that it was a mistake then no one could’ve missed that one!
I knew that I had made a huge blunder. The choices at that point were to either let my head go negative and begin beating myself up or to laugh at myself, smile, thank God for such a small problem, and focus on the next song. I chose the latter with the intent of playing and singing the rest of the hymns so gloriously that no one would ever remember the shriek.
It was an intentional choice to stay positive, stay present (forget about the past) and move on.
That was a very recent example of where I would have desperately appreciated a “do over” in my life.
I knew at that moment that I was probably being tougher on myself than anyone else in the congregation. I’m certain that our Pastor was very thankful to have me playing and singing. I know that the music minister who I was filling in for would forgive me. I knew that because my intentions were great – filling in for a friend and to worship God – that God would forgive me. God always forgives me.
Have you ever experienced moments of despair or embarrassment and wondered how you’re going to be able to move forward? Me too. Without giving it too much thought, here are a few of my moments of despair or embarrassment:
- When I was in grammar school and taking piano lessons, my mind went completely blank during a recital. I was in front of a large audience and just sitting there with nothing coming out of my brain or my fingers related to the song(s) that I had memorized (apparently I hadn’t memorized them!). My face was red and I was sweating with embarrassment as the silence in the recital hall seemed to go on for ever.
- In college, I dropped out of the management program half-way though a semester because I was so unprepared for the upcoming tests and overwhelmed with the curriculum – statistics, accounting, economics and finance all in the same semester! “How’s school going?” “I dropped out.”
- When I was out of college and working, I became a political casualty (I was fired) at work when my new manager brought in his own team of friends from his old company. When this happened, my stay-at-home wife was pregnant with our second child (our daughter Emily) and I didn’t have a lot of liquid cash. No job, no income, very little cash and no health benefits. Now what?
- When Carolyn and I were trying to have children we went through numerous fertility tests to try and determine why we were unable to conceive. “Wow! We might never be able to have the family that we’ve dreamed about.” “What’s wrong with me?” “What’s wrong with you?”
- When I finally got a new job, my income was not where it was supposed to be because I had been mislead during the interview process as to the amount of ongoing revenue from existing customers. I had to return the brand new Ford Taurus SHO muscle car that I had purchased and replace it with a used, old man’s Buick Century. I couldn’t afford the payments on the car and the mortgage with my drastically reduced income. I felt humiliated as I drove into work the next day with the clunker.
We are usually tougher on ourselves than anyone else around us would ever be on us. People are forgiving, Life is forgiving. God is forgiving.
It doesn’t matter what mistakes we’ve made because, there is not one that is so serious that we could not recover. It doesn’t matter how bad the cards are that we were dealt -a bad business partner, the loss of a job, a bad marriage, bad debt, a sour economy, a failed business, the demise of an industry. It’s all history. Life is not about history. It’s about living in the present moment. We can always wipe the slate clean or reformat the hard disk of our lives.
You are larger than any problem that comes your way.
I had to get a new computer in June because the laptop which I use to run my businesses and personal life failed. How do we feel about the new computer? It’s nice and shiny and new. The operating system is current. The drives are virus free and full of lots of empty space. There are no old files on the drive.
How do we treat the new computer? We only put into the new computer the information that we choose to and that will serve us in the future. All of the old files and viruses and worms and spyware are left on the old computer.
That how I see my life every day. Our brains are so miraculous that it’s like buying a new computer on a daily basis. We get to fill our brains with the files and programs that serve us today and that will serve us in the future. We get to deliberately leave the worms and viruses and spyware that we somehow picked up along the roads of life in the past. There is plenty of space in the brain for all of the new, exciting thoughts that you want to think, now that you’ve created the space by leaving the viruses and negativity behind.
Give all of your problems to God. Ask God for guidance. Take time to become silent enough with yourself to listen to yourself and to listen to God.
Here’s a simple process to follow:
- Take several deep breaths. Repeat to yourself: “With God’s assistance, I’m capable of solving every problem that comes my way with confidence.”
- Take time each day to be silent. God is present in the silence of our mind and heart.
- Say some prayers.
- Talk to God. God is always listening.
- Listen to God. Trust your highest self.
- Have faith in yourself and your ability and in God.
- Trust that this problem can be solved. Nothing is too big for God
- Reach out to supportive family members and friends.
- There is a new day ahead tomorrow and you get to control your thoughts and decide how you will proceed going forward.
- Thought is the act of creation. Deliberately choose to create positive, constructive thoughts.
- Focus on the positive and remain grateful for all that you have.
- Keep in mind that “This too shall pass.”
Remember that staying positive is a choice made by staying present. There are answers to every problem that exists in your life and you are smart enough – with some assistance from the divine – to resolve each and every situation that you’re dealing with today.
