I thought that this might be fun break for a week of thankfulness.  Someone special gave me this, and I had to share it, as in its humor, it shares much wisdom.

A man is praying to God says  “Lord, I would like to ask you a question”

To his surprise and amazement the Lord responds, “No problem. Go ahead.”

The man then asks “Lord, is it true that a million years to you is but a second?”

To which the Lord responds “Yes, that is true.”

The Man goes on to further ask “Well, then, what is a million dollars to you?”

To which the Lord replies “A  million dollars to me is but a penny.”

“Ah, then, Lord,” says the man, “may I have a penny?”

“Sure,” says the Lord.  “Just a second.”

What do you think the moral of this story is?

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Ethics + Sales = Success, even when you don’t think they do.  After graduating from a state university with about a 2.5 grade point average in business (marketing), one of the jobs that was readily available to me via our placement office was in the world of sales.  Although my childhood desire was not to grow up to be a salesperson, I did grow up with a fantastic father who sold Yellow Pages advertising for his entire career.  If the sales profession was good enough for my ethical Dad, his success was absolutely good enough for me!

Very early into my inside sales job with a small high-tech start-up company, I realized that people don’t always treat salespeople very well – especially those salespeople who are making cold calls! I also realized that some companies and some managers might condone tactics and strategies that did not fit my value system.

So, how was I able to align the stereotypical salesperson persona – fast-talking, slick, insincere, unethical – with my very strong values and integrity-based, Catholic upbringing?

My initial assistance came from my first business mentor on the planet – my Dad.  He was always one of the top producing salespeople at the telephone company and he personified the exact opposite traits of the salesperson that I mentioned above. My Dad was a slow-talking, smooth, sincere, meticulous and ethical individual.  I knew that if my Dad was able to have a very long successful career in this profession by displaying those traits, I was probably going to be okay too.

The next major milestone came in the late 1980’s when I was working for a $700M high tech company based in Irvine, CA.  My new sales manager bought me a book to read that changed my life.  He gave me a small paperback sales book called, The Greatest Salesman in The World, by Og Mandino.

At that point in my life, I was not a big reader but I proceeded to crack the book to learn more about sales tactics and strategies.  Instead of entering a world of sales tactics, I found myself in the middle of an engaging story of a salesman in the Middle East. The story lead up to the finding of ancients scrolls which contained the secrets to success in sales. I quickly found out that the author – Og Mandino (named after St. Augustine) – was an unbelievably talented writer with the ability to take Christian principles and incorporate them into spellbinding stories.

The 10 secrets that were written on the scrolls were explained in great detail with each secret receiving its own dedicated chapter. The reader’s responsibility was to read one chapter, twice a day for several days to allow the information to slowly and permanently enter the mind.  Here are the 10 principles from the scrolls:

Today I begin a new life. I will greet this day with love in my heart. I will persist until I succeed. I am nature’s greatest miracle. I will live this day as if it is my last. Today I will be master of my emotions. Today I will laugh at the world. Today I will multiply my value a hundred times – How will I accomplish this? My dreams are worthless, my plans are dust, my goals are impossible. Who is of so little faith that in a moment of great disaster or heartbreak has not called to his God?

I couldn’t get enough of Og Mandino’s principles for success. After I had consumed that book, I proceed to buy every one of his books and do the same thing until I had completely digested each and every one of his concepts. In case you couldn’t tell from the list, Mandino was not creating a list to assist salespeople with their vocation – he was creating a list of attitudes and habits that are encouraged for success for every person in every vocation.

The most recent gift that I received was when I participated in sales and sales management training from Guru Ganesha Khalsa at Sandler Training. I received that training in January of 1998. Among many other things, this turban wearing, ZZ Top-bearded Guru, let me know that the most important thing that influences our success in sales is our attitude. The Sandler Training concepts that he taught me reinforced the concept that our attitudes are controlled by our feelings about ourselves – mind, body and spirit, – the company that we work for and the marketplace in which we’re selling.

The single-most important component that influences our attitude is our feeling about ourselves – mentally, spiritually andphysically.  This also happens to be the piece over which we have the most control.

Having a strong spiritual component to our lives leads to an internal peace that assists us in all that we do. It allows us to connect with other humans at a significantly deeper level.

Developing a strong, positive mind is essential in manifesting the potential that is inside of us.

Taking care of ourselves physically allows us the stamina and health to be able to live today and each day to the fullest free from disease.

That training impacted me so much that I left my high-tech sales management position at a very successful company that was growing 70% per year to purchase my very own Sandler Training franchise. I spent the next 10 years of my life letting thousands of salespeople, sales managers, sales engineers and executives around the world know that not only is it possible to be tremendously successful in sales when acting with honesty, integrity, ethics and spiritual values but, there is no better way of doing it!

Have you ever seen Jim Carrey’s movie Liar Liar? If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly recommend watching it someday when you’re in the  mood for a mindless, hysterically funny movie. In the movie, Jim Carrey plays the part of a lawyer named Fletcher who made a promise to his young son that he was going to tell the truth – at all times! For the entire movie, he answers every question and responds to every situation with the truth.

Could you imagine saying what you’re really thinking and feeling at all times?

“The dinner was exceptionally bland.”

“No, we’re not busy this weekend. We just don’t want to come to your party.”

“That was an exceedingly boring presentation. Not only was it boring but, you looked very nervous.”

“No, I don’t have to get off the phone right now but, I’d like to because I’m tired of listening to you.”

“How much weight have you gained?”

“Did you misplace your iron?”

“You’re how old?  I thought that you were a lot older than that!”

What would your life be like if you always spoke the truth – to everyone- in every situation?

Here are three of my favorite examples of Jim Carrey’s inability to lie in Liar Liar:

Liar Liar Unable to Tell a Lie example 1:

Cop: You know why I pulled you over?

Fletcher: Depends on how long you were following me!

Cop: Why don’t we just take it from the top?

Fletcher: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!

Cop: Is that all?

Fletcher: No… I have unpaid parking tickets.

[groans]

Fletcher: … be gentle.

Liar Liar Unable to Tell a Lie example 2:

Fletcher: Your honor, would the court be willing to grant me a short bathroom break?

Judge: Can’t it wait?

Fletcher: Yes it can. But I’ve heard that if you hold it you could damage the prostate gland, making it very difficult to get an erection, or even become aroused!

Judge: Is that true?

Fletcher: It has to be!

Judge: In that case I’d better take a quick break myself.

Liar Liar Unable to Tell a Lie example 3:

Secretary: Do you like my new dress?

Fletcher: What ever takes the focus off your head!

In Kathy Kiely’s column on usatoday.com  – “Obama accepts Wilson’s outburst apology” – she talks about  Rep. Joe Wilson’s outburst last night during President Obama’s prime time address on health care.

Rep. Joe Wilson Unable to Tell a Lie example 1:

President Obama: There are also those who claim that our reform efforts would insure illegal immigrants.  This, too, is false.  The reforms — the reforms I’m proposing would not apply to those who are here illegally.

Rep. Joe Wilson: You Lie!

Have you ever done what Joe Wilson did?  Has the emotion that’s been building up inside of you ever been so strong that you were unable to control your vocal chords and tongue? It’s happened to most of us.  For you and I, it most likely didn’t occur in response to the President of the United Stated in front of Congress on live television!

One of the companies that I’ve worked very closely with over the years has a list of core values that employees are supposed to embody.  One of the ones that gets spoken about most frequently is candor.

I think that it gets spoken about frequently at this particular company (and within most organizations that I work with) because it’s rarely utilized.

Candor has one of the shortest definitions within Webster’s dictionary: Frankness of expression: sincerity (honesty).

Why are we so reluctant to be candid with each other?  I know from personal experience that when I’m candid with a prospect, customer, my wife or one of my children, the outcome is always favorable. I don’t mean that it was easy. I don’t mean that every one was smiling and singing Kumbaya because they were so ecstatic with my constructive feedback. What I do mean is that I’ve been very clear (and nurturing) in my communication and the person with whom I’m speaking clearly understands my position.

How about when I’m on the receiving end of the candid communication?  I frequently have to beg people to be candid with me because most people – family, friends, customers, consultants- would rather say nothing than deliver candid, constructive feedback.

Why?

Most people think that we’d prefer being in the dark or unclear about a situation than to risk hurting us with their feedback.  Feedback is ESSENTIAL for our growth. There is no growth without feedback.

When I receive candid (negative) feedback does it sting?  Yes–for a few seconds.  But, now that I’m armed with the truth – or the other person’s perception of the truth, I can determine how to best proceed with improving the relationship, situation and/or myself.

I’d like to thank Rep Joe Wilson for his candor.  I would be very surprised if he and President Obama don’t end up speaking or meeting within the next week or so.

I will encourage him to use another word that I just looked up in the dictionary in future communication - tact: the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing.

I’ll give him a “do-over” on this one.

Thanks for the laugh, Joe!

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I just read the very brief article in USA Today called “Students sent home for wearing ‘Islam is of the Devil’ shirts.“  In Gainesville, Florida a 10 year old student and 3 high school students were sent home because they were wearing those shirts to school.  The Dove World Outreach Center Church’s Senior Pastor Terry Jones said that “spreading the church’s message is more important than education.”

Those are the kinds of messages that promote hatred and violence instead of love, peace, tolerance and compassion.

One of the reasons that so many people call themselves “spiritual” instead of “religious” is that they’ve become turned-off by the fighting that goes on between people of faith (the religious)!

Eight times in the Bible we are told to love our neighbor — one of the Bible’s most repeated commands.  Are we only supposed to love people who share the same faith?  Are we only supposed to love the people who are easy to love?

I’m pretty sure that calling people whose faith differs from ours “devils” is not God’s intent.

Check-out the next few lines from Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Christianity and Hinduism:

Do not get equal with one who has done you wrong, or keep hard feelings against the children of your people, but have love for your neighbor as for yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus, 19:18)

“God does not forbid you to be kind and equitable to those who have neither fought against your faith nor driven you out of your homes. In fact God loves the equitable.” Qur’an Chapter 60, Verse 8

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.  Without them, humanity cannot survive.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NIV, John 13:34-35)

“The universe is the outpouring of the majesty of God, the auspicious one, radiant love. Every face you see belongs to Him. He is present in everyone without exception.” Yajur Veda.

The Buddhists are talking about love and compassion.

The Christians are talking about love.

The Muslims say that “God loves the equitable.”

The Jews are talking about “love for your neighbor as for yourself.”

The Hindus are talking about love for “every face.” God is present in everyone without exception!

Once we take off the blinders of our own faith, we’ll realize that the other faiths share many of our core values – peace, love, compassion, understanding, equality, reconciliation, etc.

Why are you and I so vehemently attached to our faith?  For many of us, it’s because it’s the faith that we were raised with.  We become very protective and defensive. It’s almost as if we’re afraid that we might lose it if we’re exposed to other beliefs.

Is it possible that people of all faiths who believe in God are all praying to the same God?  Give yourself a minute to answer that question.

Is it possible that because of our strong connections to our families and faith communities we’ve insulated ourselves from other faith-filled people?

Have we formed safe tribes or comfort zones that keep us safe from people of other faiths?

Are we afraid of people who are different from us?  Yes.

Be not afraid.

We tend to celebrate and defend the things that are part of our background and heritage. We get defensive and emotional over our ethnicity. Why do we defend our ethnicity? We didn’t have any say in the matter.  I’m half French and half Irish by birth. I didn’t have anything to do with it.

Many people spends hours each day rooting for a sports team.  Why that team? Because it’s where they happened to be born or currently live.  Because so many people are so entrenched in their “comfort zones” they would never imagine living anywhere else or rooting for another team.  When people do “have to” move out of state, most tend to continue rooting for the team that they rooted for when growing up.  If you were born in a different state would you be cheering on another team than the one you’re committed to today?  Probably.

I think that many of us treat our faith the same way.  I happen to be a Catholic Christian because I was born into a Catholic family.  I was so naive and sheltered when growing up that I didn’t even know that there were other religions until I got to high school.  Now that I’ve begun to study other faiths, I’ve learned just how much each of the faiths have in common.  If you were born into a different family or country, might you be part of a different faith family? We all know the answer to that question.

I wonder if the people from The Dove World Outreach Center Church know that Muslims see Jesus Christ as a great prophet and messenger of God. The Qur’an describes the life of Jesus, including his miraculous birth and his service in calling people to monotheism. Christians have a lot in common with Muslims.

As the world gets smaller each day because of improved transportation and technology, it will be helpful for us to learn more about each other’s faiths so that we can have peaceful dialogue on our shared values.  Once we get beneath the labels – Christian, Jew, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist-our beliefs and values are remarkably similar!

I wonder if it would be a good idea to educate our children in other faiths too. Would they be more tolerant?  Yes. Would they be more compassionate?  Yes.

Here’s the “fear” question.  Would it cause them to lose their current faith?  Probably not .  It just might cause them to deepen their current faith. That’s what happened to me.

Welcome to a new tribe.  Welcome to the Global Tribe!

“The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions.”
Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhism)

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“We act in accordance with the truth as we perceive and believe it to be.”  That is one of the cornerstones of the curriculum from The Pacific Institute a company that specializes in changing  the culture (beliefs) at companies and in countries around the world.  The magical word there is truth.  What is the real truth?

That’s probably what we’re fighting about.

Jessica Ravitz wrote a column on CNN.com called “From KKK, Mideast to church, film explores hate and hope.”   Her column and interview of Mike Ramsdell – the creator of the documentary “The Anatomy of Hate: A Dialogue for Hope,”  – tries to understand why and how so many of us have come to hate others.

After 9/11, Ramsdell set out to answer a couple of questions:

1. “Why do people hate?” and
2. “If we are a species that is born with the intent to live a peaceful, prosperous and content life, why is it that we’ve never been able to collectively achieve that?”

His goal at the end of the process was to “understand” not to confront people ideologically.

Where do our beliefs come from?  We  learn knowledge from parents, teachers, coaches, clergy and guardians and we also learn from reading books, watching television and from the internet. Once we get an idea (belief) into our heads, we speak and act consistent with that belief–even if that belief is incorrect!

What I learned from The Pacific Institute is how to change my beliefs. I also learned that when we change our beliefs, effective leaders can cause the people around them to “see things differently” and begin changing their beliefs too.  That is how we go about changing the cultures of families, companies and countries.

When I learned how I could change any of my beliefs that I had outgrown, it caused me to assess my beliefs, determine where they came from and decide if they still served me or if they needed to be updated.

Many of my beliefs needed to be updated.  They were too restrictive. They didn’t allow me to grow. They caused me to be fearful of people who were different. They were causing me to be unhealthy. They were restricting my income. They were too “black and white”. I needed to learn to think in a broader spectrum of colors.

Let’s take a look at the beliefs that are held by the people who are part of the documentary. Give thought as to where their beliefs might have come from.

Ramsdell spoke with Fred Phelps who is the pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.  Here are some of the slogans (beliefs) that the pastor is famous for: “God Hates Fags “, “Thank God for Dead Soldiers“, “America Is Doomed” and “Priests Boys“.    Here is what Ramsdell says about Phelps: “He’s a force of a human being. If you believe what’s written in the Bible (the way he does), then you’re just a man living out your belief systems. Whose interpretation of the Bible is right?”

We act in accordance with the truth as we perceive and believe it to be.

He also spoke with white supremacist Billy Roper. Roper runs White Revolution which is a new neo-Nazi organization that seeks to promote unity and cooperation among white supremacist groups.  Ramsdell says that Roper’s goal was to “create the ideal world for our children.”  Roper’s world “happens to be a white world”.  Ramsdell’s is a more unified world.

Many of our beliefs were formed as children when we were very impressionable. We learned who was good and who was bad. We learned who’s like us and who is different.  We learned who thinks the “right way” and who doesn’t.  We developed very strong beliefs because of the faith that we learned.  Our beliefs are impacted by our teachers and  where we chose to go to school and who we chose as friends.

There is an awful lot of information coming our way from many sources – family, friends, co-workers, the web, radio, television, etc.  Our job is to decide what information we give sanction to.   I’m always asking the question “who said so?” when I hear information.  How do I KNOW that it’s true?

There is a huge difference between believing and knowing.  We know something to be true because we’ve seen it, done it, or been there.  We “believe” something to be true when we’ve gleaned the information from another source. When we’ve heard it second hand.  We don’t know it to be true but, we believe that it’s true.

Who or what is the source of your information that is forming your beliefs or formed them in the past? Were you listening to experts?  Were you listening to people with good intentions but, happened to have very narrow, limiting beliefs? Were you listening to people who were brought up to fear people who were different ethnically, culturally or religiously?

The beautiful part of all of this is that beliefs are just thoughts that we’ve put into our heads and taken as fact or gospel.  We can change some of our beliefs instantaneously.  We’ve all made one-time affirmations.  “I’ll never eat that again.” “I’m could never see myself doing that!” With other more deep-seated beliefs, it will probably take longer.

For many of us, it’s time to do some soul and brain searching.  When we get to the bottom of most of our beliefs, we usually realize that we didn’t have all of the information when we decided “how to think”. We were acting from a place of ignorance.

Do your beliefs still serve you and the greater good?  If not, why not commit to seeking the education and the wisdom and the knowledge to become more tolerant, understanding and loving.

Seek out your own truth.