I have two thoughts about Christmas:

#1: It is a time of love, peace, and happiness

#2: It is a time for giving and forgiving

I’d say that the second thought is more important than the first.

Do we give people gifts to show how much we love them or do we give gifts because we’re incapable of speaking or showing our love with our words and actions?

Material gifts never replace the love shown with your words, kindness and compassion.

Christians are celebrating the birth of the Son of God – the Savior- on Christmas.  Christians believe that Jesus died for all of our sins. We believe that each of our sins is forgiven once we ask God to forgive us.

If I expect God to forgive me (and I do), should I not be as willing to forgive others?  Yes, I should.

As Christians celebrate the birth of Christ, it’s also a time to celebrate the birth of new God-like actions in ourselves. Forgiveness is one of the best God-like attributes that I know.

I’m pretty certain that non-Christians will enjoy reading Jesus’ words of love, peace, compassion and forgiveness as much as I enjoy reading about how people of other faiths have come to know and love God.

When we apologize to another person or forgive another, we’re potentially making two people feel better. When we remove all of the anger, animosity and hostility from our lives, we create the room to allow love to take their place.

Christmas is the time for forgiving.  Forgive yourself. Forgive others.  Welcome family and friends back into your life.  Start this habit today and maintain it for the rest of your life.

Learn from those around us who can no longer hug and love the people they’ve lost.  Love everyone today while you’re still given the gift of that person. All that we’re certain of is today.

We are the only gifts that matter.  Our spirits are forever.  The material gifts all perish.

Forgive during this season for giving.

It used to be a holiday tradition for our family to watch Christmas specials together. On a daily basis, we’d scour the newspaper or TV Guide to find out when Charlie Brown Christmas,  The Grinch, It’s a Wonderful Life and other specials would be on television.

As our children got older, started working, began dating and left for college and boarding school, it’s become a challenge to get the four of us together to keep this tradition going. Recently it’s been very hit or miss and we’ve probably missed more than  we’ve hit the last several years.

On Tuesday evening, my son James organized our schedules so that we could watch a VHS copy of Charlie Brown Christmas together.  We had to watch it on an old television (non-plasma) that still has a VCR attached to it. My wife and I sat on our leather sectional with our son, daughter and my daughter’s very cool boyfriend and enjoyed watching and listening to each other laugh.

There are several reasons that it’s a good practice to re-read or re-watch material many times. One reason is that we only allow information that is pertinent and relevant to be processed. All of the other information is blocked-out as excess, useless information. Another reason is that as our life experiences change,  we react differently to the same information when we read it or see it the second or 35th time.

As I watched Schroeder playing the piano, I thought about how many times that James (my son) has played those songs and what a phenomenal pianist he’s become.

I watched Frieda (the girl with the naturally curly hair) and remembered Emily (my daughter) playing that part in a school play.  In that same play, James was Schroeder. My 15 and 20 year old kids have really grown up.

The same issues that Charles Schultz wrote about in 1964 are the same ones that we’re dealing with today.

• Overly ostentatious lights
• The commercialization of Christmas
• Charlie Brown’s feeling like something’s missing from the holy day

Charlie’s quiet, blanket-sporting friend Linus unassumingly comes to his rescue and points out to him exactly what the real meaning of Christmas is-Christ.

Emily bought the It’s a Wonderful Life DVD for me as a gift recently so that we could watch it whenever we want. I’m so happy that she enjoys that movie as much as I do.  My Dad made me and my siblings watch it when we were kids and I will be forever grateful to him.

Last night, Emily let me know that the original cartoon version of The Grinch was on at 8AM.  We made a date with each other to watch The Grinch at 8AM and then watch It’s a Wonderful Life at 8:30.  What a great evening I was looking forward to.

At 8AM, my in-laws, Carolyn (my wife), Emily, Cosmo (our dog) and I settled onto the couch for an evening of family Christmas togetherness.

I used to enjoy The Grinch because of the animation, the songs, the Who’s, Boris Karloff’s voice and Max (The Grinch’s dog).  Last night, I had significantly different reactions to this familiar animated classic. I thought about how The Grinch transformed his life as a result of a single thought – maybe Christmas is not about the toys, trees and presents…… That thought caused his heart to grow 3 sizes. I thought about how often my heart grows in love or compassion at the realization of a new thought or way of thinking.

I noticed how The Who’s got up on Christmas morning and completely disregarded the fact that all of their gifts, decorations and food had been stolen. They immediately assembled in the center of Whoville and began singing Fah who for-aze! Dah who dor-aze! Are we capable of disregarding everything in our life that is unimportant and focus on God and each other like The Who’s?  Yes, we are capable.

I really paid attention to the lyrics from Welcome Christmas (Fah who for-aze) and noticed these gems:

Christmas day will always be

Just so long as we have we

Welcome all Who’s

Far and near

I realized that we are all Who’s. We are all equal.  No single Who is better or more valuable than any other Who.

Just as long as we have God and each other, nothing else matters!  Can we bottle that thought and keep it with us for the next 364 days???

After that uplifting cartoon, we enjoyed 130 minutes of smiles and tears in It’s A Wonderful Life.  Here are a few of my observations from a movie that seems to get better each year:

It’s always best when we’re working together with God: George Bailey had very specific goals for his life but it appeared that God had other plans for him.  I thought to myself how many times that’s happened to me. Our will versus God’s will.

Love today: George had dinner with his Dad and during that dinner he told his Dad that he did not want to take over for him at the crummy-old building and loan.  That same evening his Dad had a stroke and died shortly after.  We never know when will be the last time that we’ll be with the people we love.

The tongue can be a very sharp instrument: I saw kind and loving George slap around his Uncle Billy after he’d lost the $8000 in cash. After that episode, George goes home and takes-out his financial problems on his beautiful wife and children. I thought about times when I’ve done the very same thing (hurt people with my words) and how sorry I am for each time that my words had hurt my wife or children.

Come to your senses quickly: In another scene, Mr. Potter tries to get George to come and work for him for $20,000 per year.  At the time, George was earning $45/week at the Building and Loan that he owned.  Mr. Potter was offering to pay him almost 10 times what he was earning!  For less than a minute, George was tempted to take the cash until he learned that the Building & Loan would no longer exist.

Rely upon God: When George’s is at the end of his rope, he does what the rest of us would do at that point when nothing else seems to be working- he prays, God, please show me the way. Why do many of us only reach out to God in times of trouble instead of maintaining a relationship on a daily basis?

How cool would it be to be able to see what the world would be like if you had never been born?  We don’t always realize how much we positively contribute to the world’s beauty.

I love George’s reaction to having his second prayer answered – God, please give me my life back!!! What was he thankful for in addition to his wife and children? The crummy old Building and Loan, the end cap on his stairway banister, his $8000 debt, the prospect of going to jail and his drafty, leaky old home. We tend not to appreciate anything until we don’t have it any more.

When the bell on the Christmas tree ornament rings and Clarence the Angel gets his wings, I think about living a life today that will be worthy of getting my own wings when it’s time.

Please send me your stories about your favorite parts of these or any other Christmas specials that have impacted you.

I am thankful for my family, the 15 degree weather in New England, my drafty, old home, my faith in God and for you.

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Moina Noors is from Connecticut and was raised with Islam as her faith.  Her son – Bilal – was born 8  months prior to 9/11/01. Her blog appeared on nytimes.com on 9/11/09.
Moina was dreading having to answer the question from her son, “Mom, what happened on 9/11?” Since 9/11, she has taken it upon herself to educate people about her faith by saying things such as, “We are like you.  Islam is peaceful. Complex sociopolitical factors create lunatics who kill people. Please don’t judge a billion people by a few bad apples.”

In her blog she notes that according to a survey conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life in 2007, “35 percent of respondents had an unfavorable opinion about Islam”. Could one of those 3 in 10 people be Bilal’s (her son) teacher or soccer coach?”

People are persecuted daily for many reasons – different faith, different nationality, sexual preference, body size, etc.  In each case  the persecution is coming from a position of hatred versus one of love.

Our thoughts are a choice. In each instant we can choose to hate another because he is different or we can choose to love another because we are fascinated with how wonderful and different this person is.

Most people in the world were raised in a family that professed at least one faith.  These days, many children are raised in families where the parents are of different faiths and get exposed to both.  The faith that we profess today for many of us has to do with what family we were born into and into which country we were born.  If you were born in the United States, there is a very high probability that you were born into a Christian family. If you were born in the Middle East, you were most likely born into a family whose faith was Islam.

Why is religion so valuable? It teaches us about a creator of the world who created us and loves us.  Faiths teach us about the traits of God and how God loves us and how God suggests that we live our lives and ways of treating each other.

All religions teach us to love God, ourselves and each other.  What we call God, or how we come to know God, should not matter as much as how we treat God and how we treat each other.

Even if a person doesn’t believe in God, the individual can learn from his or her faith the attributes of God  that have been revealed to us through prophets and tradition and assimilate those traits.

What attributes could we choose to assimilate that are taught by all faiths?  Loving, compassionate, forgiving, merciful, understanding, humorous, generous, wise, kind, patient, encouraging, positive and illuminating.

Try placing the words “I am” before each of those words and assimilating those traits into your mind.  Here are a few examples:

I am loving at all times.

I am compassionate to all people.

I am forgiving of myself and others.

I am merciful towards all.

Can you envision a world where you and each person in the world thought and behaved  with those attributes?

If we believe in God, these are the types of traits that people of faith are called to live by on a daily basis.

If we don’t believe in God, these are the types of traits that are required to live in harmony with others in our cities, states, countries and around the world.

These traits are at the core of our being. Each of us was born with the potential to nurture and develop these traits so that we can become a reflection of God and all that is Good.

We are all part of the same spiritual family.  When I hurt you, I am hurting myself and my family. When I love you, I am loving myself and loving God.  I choose to love you!

We are not going to convert our world into a peaceful, loving planet with guns, tanks and hatred.  We are going to change our collective consciousness by accepting responsibility for our thoughts and actions – one person at a time.

All religions are good because they show us a path to come to know God.  Some religious people from every faith do very bad things in the name of God. They are the very small exceptions.

All people of all faiths are good at their core.  All people without faith are good at their core.

You and I must choose to bring out the best in each situation every day and see the good and God-like qualities that are hidden deep inside each human.

We all possess a soul and God’s Spirit.  Become the person who exposes the good in others!

If I choose to go to California there are many ways of getting there – plane, train, car, bicycle, walk etc.

If I’m choosing to know and love God and others (God’s family), there are many ways of getting there- Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Hinduism,  Christianity, Buddhism, etc.

Let us respect the paths to God that have been revealed to others.

We are all looking for the way, the common thread is love!

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While at the hotel gym this morning and half-paying attention to CNN’s HLN, I saw a clip of a Philadelphia Phillies baseball fan catch a foul ball.  This is a once in a lifetime event that most fans never get to experience.  Many of us come close but, we seem to be one seat or one row away or we’re too slow bending over and a more nimble fan around us scoops up the baseball.

After the middle-age man caught the ball, he immediately bent over and handed his cherished souvenir to a little girl who appeared to be about two years old who was sitting next to him (I’m assuming that it was his daughter).  What did the beautiful little girl do?  She did what most children of that age would do when you hand them a small ball. She immediately took the ball and threw it (right back onto the field)!

The gift was gone forever!

What did the man do?  He picked up the girl and gave her a huge hug and kiss with a big, beautiful smile on his face that said I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! It was a beautiful expression of unconditional love between a father and daughter.  He knew that she had no idea of how much he valued the gift – if only for a second or two.

I began thinking about the cherished gift that the father gave to his daughter and how she innocently rejected the gift because she had no understanding of its value.  That thought led me to think about the God-given gifts that we’ve all received at birth and how we sometimes throw them back onto the field.

How do we reject our gifts like the girl rejected the ball? Sometimes we hide the gift and don’t share it with the world. We keep it to ourselves. Sometimes we don’t develop the gift and use it to it’s full potential. Sometimes we give-up on the gift or forget about it like a new sweater that is lost at the bottom of a drawer or in the back of a closet.

What are the unique gifts that you’ve been given that you know that you’ve been hiding, accidentally lost or have never developed up to their potential?

Why not make a list of your special gifts and talents today?  After you do, decide how you can share those gifts with your family or your community or turn that special talent into your own business.

You’re getting excited just thinking about it aren’t you?  When we fully utilize, nurture, develop and share the special gifts that have been given to us by someone who loves us very much, we feel like we’re living our purpose. We feel like we’re doing what we were meant to do. The smile appears on our face and our heart starts pumping with joy.

There is only one you. Only you have your unique gifts and talents that were hand-delivered, specially wrapped and custom-made especially for you.

Like the catching of the baseball was probably a once-in-a lifetime event, you and I are only certain of today and how we utilize our special gifts today.  If we neglected our gifts yesterday, God forgives us like the Father forgave and loves his daughter. We’ve been given the gift of today to manifest our special beauty.

Open the gift today if you’ve left it unopened.  Take it out of the drawer or off the shelf if you’ve hidden it away.  Consult yourself and give careful thought about how that gift was meant to be used by God and share it with us.  You’ve been keeping it to yourself long enough.

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I just read the very brief article in USA Today called “Students sent home for wearing ‘Islam is of the Devil’ shirts.“  In Gainesville, Florida a 10 year old student and 3 high school students were sent home because they were wearing those shirts to school.  The Dove World Outreach Center Church’s Senior Pastor Terry Jones said that “spreading the church’s message is more important than education.”

Those are the kinds of messages that promote hatred and violence instead of love, peace, tolerance and compassion.

One of the reasons that so many people call themselves “spiritual” instead of “religious” is that they’ve become turned-off by the fighting that goes on between people of faith (the religious)!

Eight times in the Bible we are told to love our neighbor — one of the Bible’s most repeated commands.  Are we only supposed to love people who share the same faith?  Are we only supposed to love the people who are easy to love?

I’m pretty sure that calling people whose faith differs from ours “devils” is not God’s intent.

Check-out the next few lines from Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Christianity and Hinduism:

Do not get equal with one who has done you wrong, or keep hard feelings against the children of your people, but have love for your neighbor as for yourself: I am the Lord. (Leviticus, 19:18)

“God does not forbid you to be kind and equitable to those who have neither fought against your faith nor driven you out of your homes. In fact God loves the equitable.” Qur’an Chapter 60, Verse 8

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries.  Without them, humanity cannot survive.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (NIV, John 13:34-35)

“The universe is the outpouring of the majesty of God, the auspicious one, radiant love. Every face you see belongs to Him. He is present in everyone without exception.” Yajur Veda.

The Buddhists are talking about love and compassion.

The Christians are talking about love.

The Muslims say that “God loves the equitable.”

The Jews are talking about “love for your neighbor as for yourself.”

The Hindus are talking about love for “every face.” God is present in everyone without exception!

Once we take off the blinders of our own faith, we’ll realize that the other faiths share many of our core values – peace, love, compassion, understanding, equality, reconciliation, etc.

Why are you and I so vehemently attached to our faith?  For many of us, it’s because it’s the faith that we were raised with.  We become very protective and defensive. It’s almost as if we’re afraid that we might lose it if we’re exposed to other beliefs.

Is it possible that people of all faiths who believe in God are all praying to the same God?  Give yourself a minute to answer that question.

Is it possible that because of our strong connections to our families and faith communities we’ve insulated ourselves from other faith-filled people?

Have we formed safe tribes or comfort zones that keep us safe from people of other faiths?

Are we afraid of people who are different from us?  Yes.

Be not afraid.

We tend to celebrate and defend the things that are part of our background and heritage. We get defensive and emotional over our ethnicity. Why do we defend our ethnicity? We didn’t have any say in the matter.  I’m half French and half Irish by birth. I didn’t have anything to do with it.

Many people spends hours each day rooting for a sports team.  Why that team? Because it’s where they happened to be born or currently live.  Because so many people are so entrenched in their “comfort zones” they would never imagine living anywhere else or rooting for another team.  When people do “have to” move out of state, most tend to continue rooting for the team that they rooted for when growing up.  If you were born in a different state would you be cheering on another team than the one you’re committed to today?  Probably.

I think that many of us treat our faith the same way.  I happen to be a Catholic Christian because I was born into a Catholic family.  I was so naive and sheltered when growing up that I didn’t even know that there were other religions until I got to high school.  Now that I’ve begun to study other faiths, I’ve learned just how much each of the faiths have in common.  If you were born into a different family or country, might you be part of a different faith family? We all know the answer to that question.

I wonder if the people from The Dove World Outreach Center Church know that Muslims see Jesus Christ as a great prophet and messenger of God. The Qur’an describes the life of Jesus, including his miraculous birth and his service in calling people to monotheism. Christians have a lot in common with Muslims.

As the world gets smaller each day because of improved transportation and technology, it will be helpful for us to learn more about each other’s faiths so that we can have peaceful dialogue on our shared values.  Once we get beneath the labels – Christian, Jew, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist-our beliefs and values are remarkably similar!

I wonder if it would be a good idea to educate our children in other faiths too. Would they be more tolerant?  Yes. Would they be more compassionate?  Yes.

Here’s the “fear” question.  Would it cause them to lose their current faith?  Probably not .  It just might cause them to deepen their current faith. That’s what happened to me.

Welcome to a new tribe.  Welcome to the Global Tribe!

“The practice of peace and reconciliation is one of the most vital and artistic of human actions.”
Thich Nhat Hanh (Buddhism)

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We’re all connected to each other. We rely upon each other for love, friendship and everything else that we require to live. We can choose whether to embrace each other with love and compassion or to find fault with each other. From a Christian perspective, we look at each person in the universe as a member of the Body of Christ.  If each person is a part of the same body, it then becomes difficult for us to find fault with one of our body parts!

I’ll start today’s discussion about our connection to others with the definition of the word ego?  According to Webster’s II, ego is “the self, as distinct from the world and other selves.  The part of the psyche that is conscious, most directly controls thought and behavior, and is most aware of external reality. An exaggerated sense of self-importance.”

Is your ego (self) getting in the way of your relationship with God and others? For most of us the answer is yes.

From a spiritual perspective, I believe that the separate self does not exist.  We’re all connected spiritually.  It is our collective spirits that make us one with God and with each other.

So where do our problems come from?  We allow OUR egos to get in the way.  We become way too focused on ourselves and don’t focus enough on those around us. A new and better vision would be to look upon each other as brothers and sisters who are truly connected to us spiritually.

In Dr. Wayne W. Dyer’s book  “Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling”, he explains that concept exceptionally well:  “You can see why the word ego is often referred to as an acronym for edging God out.”  When we “edge God out”, we’re creating a huge barrier between us and God and between us and the rest of the people in the world. When we invite God in (igi), we begin embracing love, compassion and well-being for our self and others.

Once we embrace the concept of a spirit (God) that resides within us, we lose all of our fear including fear of death.  Dyer says “There is no death from the perspective of infinity so once you’ve removed the horror of dying from the equation, you’ll have a different perspective.”

In Deepak Chopra’s  “Secrets of Enlightenment CD” he tells us that “fear, addiction, craving and fear of death come from the experience of the separate self.”  When we isolate our “self” from God and others, life is very lonely and scary.  When we commune with God and others every day life becomes a “we” rather than a selfish “I”.  It’s a collective, united consciousness.

Ram Dass in Dyer’s Book explains his philosophy on the united or collective consciousness – our relationship to all other people:  “I’ve firmly come to the conclusion that there are no ‘thems’ for me anymore. I can’t be told who to hate, who to fight, who to subdue–I only see an ‘us’ in my heart.”

Can you stretch yourself far enough to embrace the concept of no more ‘“thems”?  If there are in fact no “thems”, the world becomes very small and we realize that we’re all in this life together.  I no longer feel lonely and isolated.  My “self” is gone.

How can we possibly hate others? How can we hate people who are our connected to us spiritually?  We are literally part of the same body. Our hatred stems from our lack of compassion and from our ignorance. If we believed that each person was connected to us spiritually, I’m convinced that we’d treat each other with dignity, respect and love.

Here is a segment from one of the Dalai Lama’s books – ‘Becoming Enlightened’ on the subjects of ego, self and hatred: “Seeing that defective states of mind such as lust and hatred are rooted in egotism, Buddha taught something that had not been explained before him, the view of selflessness. Buddha taught that a permanent unchangeable self, separate from mind and body, does not exist.  He taught that the self is set up in dependence upon the mind and body.”

In science, we try to isolate the mind and body from the spirit.  What Buddha is telling us is that the three are connected. Our self (spirit,consciousness) is one with the mind and body and can’t exist without them.  When the spirit (self, consciousness) dies, so do the mind and body.

Inviting and embracing God to live and flourish within us naturally has a tremendously positive impact on our mind and body.

The opposite of selfish is altruistic (selfless regard or concern for the well-being of others)

Later in the book the Dalai Lama explains the concept of altruism as part of the path to enlightenment.

Altruism is a source of goodness for yourself and others.

Medicine alleviating all troubles,

The great path traveled by the wise,

Nourishment for all who see, hear, remember, and contact it,

Possessing great efficacy for advancing others’ welfare.

Through it you indirectly achieve your own interests full.

–Tsongkhapa, Great Treatise On The Stages of The Path

The Dalai Lama continues by saying “The fame of other great teachers with great followings, such as Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed, arose from the power of altruism.”

Those sound like pretty good mentors to me!

Let’s embrace and nourish the spirit that resides in ourselves and each other.

We ARE one in the Spirit!

It seems to me that there have been a lot of people in the world of sports to forgive lately–Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz (possibly), Michael Vick, Rick Pitino just off the top of my head. Joe Posnanski writes in a Sports Illustrated website article “ It’s time to forgive Pete Rose for his sins against baseball.”

Why is it so important that we forgive those who have wronged us and to apologize to those whom we’ve hurt?

Forgive your neighbor the wrong he has done, and then your sins will be
pardoned when you pray.
Sirach 28:2

One  reason to forgive others is that most of us are looking for forgiveness after we’ve done something wrong. When I’ve wronged others, I’ve decided to institute the “do unto others” principle and apologize.  I don’t control whether or not people will accept the apology but, I do control whether or not I offer it.  Whenever I apologize, I feel better. Even if the apology was not accepted. Did you ever try asking someone for forgiveness and have them refuse?  I have.

Maybe people like holding on to their anger because of what Ghandi said: “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” I liked that quote so much that I turned it into an affirmation:  “I am a strong individual who easily and happily forgives others.”

On the path to becoming enlightened, the Buddhists implement a strategy to free themselves from what they call “afflictive emotions” — anger, hatred, desire, jealousy, etc.  There are great meditations that allow us to promote happiness, peace and freedom from suffering for ourselves and others. When our minds are full of happiness and peaceful thoughts (Spirit), we don’t allow much room for negativity, anger and resentment. It’s so much easier to forgive others when we’re feeling good about ourselves.

I listened to Deepak Chopra’s “Secrets of Enlightenment” CD at the gym this morning for the first time.  Boy did he pack a lot of information into 60 minutes! One of his comments that I really enjoyed is “When we’re in the state of Love, it’s impossible to hurt or be hurt.”  Meditate on that thought for a while!  Can you imagine and visualize being so full of Love that you’re incapable of hurting others or being hurt by someone else?

Lewis B. Smedes tells us that “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” When we’re holding on  to a hurt feeling that’s been caused by someone else, we’re the ones who are suffering.  When we’ve hurt another person and don’t apologize, we just don’t feel right.  Once we say those magical words, “I apologize” or “I forgive you”, that huge weight is lifted from our shoulders and souls.

Does a man harbor anger against another, and yet seek for healing from the Lord?
Sirach 28:3

Have you ever tried asking forgiveness from another person or from God when in the back of your mind you remember that you have not forgiven someone else?  Now that’s not going to work out real well is it?

Because I’m looking to forgive myself and to be forgiven by God and others, I’ve decided to become God-like when it comes to forgiveness.

Forgive others when they’ve offended you.  Apologize to people at the first sign that you “might have” possibly hurt them. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Who are the people whom you should forgive today?   Who are the people who are waiting for an apology from you?  Give them a call or go and visit them.

I agree with Joe Posnanski. Let’s forgive Pete Rose.

I say goodbye to you today with a laugh from Oscar Wilde: “Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.”

Do we share enought time with those we love?

Who do you really love? What have you done to show your love to that person lately?  How about today?

Who really loves you?  What have they done to show their love for you lately? Would you say that it’s enough?

Every one of us wants love and wants to be loved but most of us don’t give enough of that precious gift away to others.

Who within your community -family, friends, co-workers, people at the gym- could really benefit from a visit or telephone call from you?  Who wouldn’t want to receive your call or visit?  You make people feel better whenever you give them your attention!

USA Today’s Liz Szabo’s article on 8/19/09 titled “Even phone calls help cancer patients” shares information with us based upon a study in today’s Journal of the American Medical Association reports.  According to the report, “asking nurses to reach out to people who have advanced cancer–even if only by phone– can improve patients’ mood and quality of life.”

Why weren’t the nurses or someone from the hospitals making these calls prior to the study?  For probably the same reasons that I don’t call people who could use a “pick-me-up” call from me.

When the nurses telephoned patients, they discussed issues such as coping strategies, managing symptoms, depression, financial worries and end of life planning.  The patients in the study who received this type of care from the nurses lived slightly longer than the patients who did not receive the extra attention. The Director from Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York  – Diane Meier – is quoted as saying “I can’t think of anything more important than to be able to improve patients’ self-assessed quality of life.”

What have you done today to  improve another person’s “self-assessed quality of life”?

Why did the patients who received this extra attention live “slightly longer”? They were cared for and shown love and compassion by the nurses.

In Rick Warren’s best-selling book “The Purpose Driven Life”, he tells us that we spell the word Love, T-I-M-E. We allocate time to the people whom we love and find precious. We are called into relationship with other people. We’re called to love one another.  We show how much we truly love others by how much T-I-M-E we choose to invest in them.

When I hear myself saying “I don’t have time to golf or play tennis with one my kids” or I’ve lost touch with a friend because “I don’t take the time to call him and take him to lunch” what I’m really saying is that I don’t love and value this person. Or, I value the work that I’m doing or the book that I’m reading, or the yard work that I’m doing more than I value time with this person.  That never makes me feel good.

I always feel good when I’m spending time with people and showing sincere love for them.

My new and improved thought process when I have those negative limiting thoughts is to think “I have plenty of time to allocate to the people and relationships that are valued and important in my life.”  After thinking the new thought, I typically pick-up the telephone, send a quick-e-mail or take-out a card and write a simple hand-written note to this person.

Giving makes us feel as good or better than receiving. I do control how much I give, I don’t control how much I receive.

It takes so little effort on our part to show people that they’re valued and loved.  It really just takes our ears and some or our most precious commodity–time.  Most of us just want to be listened to, valued and loved.

“Love is patient; love is kind
and envies no one.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
never selfish, not quick to take offense.
There is nothing love cannot face;
there is no limit to its faith,
its hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things
that last forever: faith, hope, and love;
but the greatest of them all is love.”
1 Corinthians 13

Show your l-o-v-e today and call or visit someone who needs the gift of your t-i-m-e.