Unity Consciousness is Possible When You Are You

Adversity is tough to deal with when we’re very strong.  It can feel overwhelming when we’re weak and vulnerable.  Eleven days ago I received news that made me thankful that I had built-up a strong reserve of internal strength.

My mission is to give people the tools to develop their own internal strength – mentally, spiritually and physically – so that they’ll be able to live the best lives possible each and every day.

If I haven’t said this lately, if I had to choose one of the three – and I don’t – it would be spiritual strength.

The knowledge that God exists and is dwelling within our minds and spirits is the strongest support that we can have in dealing with our every day realities. It is my faith that gives me the power to remain strong and focused during my life’s challenging times.

Having strong mental health means creating and maintaining a positive, efficacious  mind. It means that you’ve intentionally built a very strong self-image and are great at noticing each of the strong qualities in the people around you.

Maintaining a healthy body provides a peaceful home in which our minds and spirits can dwell for as many days as we’re fortunate enough to live.

With positive minds, healthy bodies and the spirit of God alive and well in our being, we’re positioning ourselves to be constructive souls across the planet. We’re also better prepared to try and understand our setbacks and the setbacks of those around us.

On December 3rd, I started receiving news from people around me that I love which made me thankful for God and my internal strength: my great friend Tracy from high school called me that day to tell me that his sister, my 47 year old friend and first girlfriend, Leah, had succumbed to breast cancer. Leah was happily married and the mother of two beautiful children. She was part of a loving family who welcomed me into their world when I was 15 years old and kept me there in their minds forever. Although Leah and I dated for only about a year, she has maintained a place in my mind and heart and will be there forever. She gave me her gift that will last a lifetime.

You and I have the ability to positively, negatively or neutrally impact each person  we touch throughout our lives.  It’s not the length of time we’re with someone, it’s the impact we have during the time that we’re given. Leah was very high-impact.

When Tracy called me to tell me of his sister’s death, I had just returned home from a 3-day business trip and was scurrying around trying to play catch-up.  At that instant, all of the very important things that I had planned for that day suddenly seemed very unimportant.  As I was listening to Tracy speak, in the back of my mind I knew that I was leaving the following morning on a 6AM flight for another 4-day trip.  I was petrified that I would be out of town during the wake and funeral. Tracy, Leah and the entire family are all very dear to me.

Leah’s funeral was held last Saturday, December 12th.  She was all I could think of that morning at home and at the gym.  I left the gym at 8:40 to make sure that I arrived at the church early.  My brand new car doesn’t have GPS and I made every possible wrong turn imaginable. Was my mind elsewhere?  Yes.  Instead of arriving between 9:15 and 9:30 for the 10AM funeral and relaxing in the parking lot, I pulled into the parking lot perspiring at about 9:50.

My compassionate friend Tracy came out into the 19 degree parking lot without a jacket, scarf or hat to greet his old friend. After signing the guest book at the back of the church and winding around the perimeter of the church in a long line of people, I found myself at the side entrance to the church which is at its’ front. The hallways, choir loft and church were filled with family and friends and every seat and space appeared to be full with the exception of the front 2 pews which were reserved for the family. I did not want to miss a single word of this service!  Out of desperation, I asked an usher if she had any suggestions where one person could sit. She turned around and pointed to a single seat just to the right of the pulpit. Am I lucky or had that exact seat been reserved for me by someone very special?

I was thankful to be seated on time prior to the arrival of the family into the church.  Once the family was seated, I realized that I had a direct line of view to Leah’s mom and dad, so I knew that I couldn’t look in that direction unless I wanted to break down uncontrollably. I’ve loved her parents for almost 35 years and couldn’t imagine the sadness that they were feeling if I was feeling despair and emptiness over a person I hadn’t even seen in 14 years. The last time that I saw Leah was at my Dad’s wake.

Leah’s beautiful sister Heidi spoke on behalf of the family.  Heidi looked me right in the eyes and gave me a big, radiant smile as she climbed the steps into the pulpit. Heidi then gave an uplifting message of joy as she spoke to Leah’s husband, children, parents, brothers, family, neighbors and friends.  Heidi wasn’t speaking to have us feel sorry or sad, she spoke to remind us how Leah lived – with smiles, light and humor and to invite us to do the same. She was a very bright light in the world who loved her family, friends, strangers and God.

The Episcopal minister was phenomenal!  It was easy for her to speak because she really knew Leah and journeyed with her during her  two-year sickness. She spoke of Leah’s concern that her children knew that she hadn’t given up on them.  Leah loved in life and she loved at the time of her death. She knew that it was time for her to leave her family and friends and to go to God. She was at peace with her awareness.  Her faith had kept her strong in spirit.

After the 55 minute service, I waited in a 30-minute line in order to get into the church hall for the reception. There was no way I could leave without seeing the family that I’ve loved so much for such a long time.  When I finally saw Leah’s mom, she gave me what might be the best hug that I’ve ever had.  The barely 5-foot woman hugged me with tremendous strength and held on to me for what must’ve been 60 seconds. Neither one of us wanted to let go.

I’ve maintained my friendship with Tracy over the years and had dinner with him on November 17th. As always, I inquired about Leah, his Mom and Dad and the rest of his family. Neither one of us knew at that time that Leah would be leaving us this soon.  We never really know when will be the last time that we’ll see, talk with, hug or kiss someone.

Wakes and funerals are always tremendous reminders for me to do those things today. I’m sure that’s what Og Mandino meant when we wrote in his book, The Greatest Salesman in the World, “I will live this day as if it is my last”.   What would I say to you if this were my last day with you?  How would I hug you?  How would I kiss you?  How would I treat you?

My life has been filled with one blessing after another. In my life today is a fantastic wife of 25 years, two phenomenal children, a loving, generous mother, two great brothers, a caring sister, numerous cousins, uncles and aunts and many dear and great friends. Each one is irreplaceable.

I felt a sense of tremendous loss when my father and mentor died 14 years ago.  I’m feeling a very similar sense of loss today over the loss of Leah. I’ve come to realize that there wouldn’t be any feeling of loss if that individual had not given so deeply of themselves to me. This knowledge allows me to be unbelievably thankful for the special time that I did have with them.  Those are the thoughts and memories that will remain with me forever.

Special people provide us with something unique that can only be given to us by them. It’s the thought of his love, her smile, his hug, her giggle, his voice or her humor that brings smiles to our faces and stirs happy memories inside.  To say that each of us is  unique is an understatement of great magnitude.  When you and I give our unique gifts to the world every day with such effort that we drop into our beds each night with nothing left to give, it’s a tremendous feeling of knowing that you’ve given all that you could to the world.  It’s a feeling that although we were not perfect, we did the absolute best that we could in everything that we did.

Each night before falling asleep I review the activities of the day and ask myself that exact question: Did I do the best that I possibly could in every circumstance throughout this day?  When the answer is yes, I’m at peace.  If the answer is no, I’ve already begun my list for tomorrow.

Only you can provide the unique gift of yourself to the world.  Your smile is unique. Your eyes are unique.  Your voice is unique.  Your spirit is unique.  You are you-nique!  Please don’t hold back. We need you to share yourself with us – today.

You cannot be replaced.

Your job can be filled.

There is no one or thing that can ever replace you.

You are truly special.

I miss you Dad.  I miss you Leah.  I’m looking forward to seeing both of you in heaven.