Given the gift of faith.

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I am the product of a French-Canadian father and an Irish mother.  The faith that my parents brought to me impacted me more than my French or Irish heritage.

The faith that my parents brought into their marriage and shared with our family taught us how to be good people.  Their Christian faith taught us how to be loving to each other and to all people. It taught us how to be compassionate to the poor, elderly, disabled and each other.  It taught us how to respect people – especially our elders. It taught us the gift of prayer. In short, we were taught to love your neighbor, love yourself and love your God.

Like all gifts that we receive, each of us has to choose whether to open, nurture and develop the gift of faith or to ignore it. Like any skill that we wish to perfect, it takes daily practice.

Here is a cliff notes version of how my faith was nurtured from early childhood by my parents and how I built upon it once I was an adult. My faith was not developed because of an event like the sacraments of First Communion or Confirmation. It was developed because it was the result of a way of life within my family which happened to include the sacraments. My faith came to be the defining piece of who I am as a human. It’s infiltrated my mind, my body and my soul.

A very basic practice that was repeated 3 times per day was the ritual of saying prayer prior to each family meal.  “Bless us O Lord and these Thy gifts which we are about to receive from Thy bounty, through Christ our Lord Amen”. This is still the prayer that we say prior to each meal within my family.  I think that prayer prior to eating (eating-my favorite part of the day!) helped make me grateful for food, family and so many things for which I’ve never lacked. Each and every time I say this prayer, I can still see my Dad (who passed away 13 years ago) sitting at the head of the table in the kitchen leading us in prayer.  I know that he was very thankful for his many blessings. Especially the blessings who were seated around that meal table.

At our home, it was never a question of whether or not we were going to church, it was only a question of which Mass we’d be attending each weekend.  Attending church for our family was as regular as eating, drinking or breathing. It’s what we did.  I can still see my father kneeling in church prior to Mass beginning with his head bowed in deep, reverent prayer.  I’m pretty certain that he was asking God for strength and guidance as he tried to keep our family together and on the “right track”. Now that I’m a father of two and husband (of one) and have my own company, I have a MUCH better idea of the prayers that he was saying!

Do you have to go to church to be a good person? No. Do you have to go to the gym to have a healthy body?  No.  Does daily and weekly repetition of all good habits lead to sustained health?  Yes.

My earliest recollection of going to church was with my Mother. She was always an “early riser” as I am.  She and I would go to 7:30AM Mass together and then sometimes go to “Gormley’s” -the luncheonette right across the street from the church – for creamy hot chocolate and very buttery, grilled english muffins.  I will always have the  wonderful memories of church with my Mom and our cherished diner breakfasts together – just the two of us!

My Mother spent her entire adult life in her kitchen although she occasionally left the kitchen to bathe or sleep.  She considered herself a valuable person when she was in the kitchen preparing food for the people she loved. She always had a very inexpensive, very poor quality radio on in the background keeping her company as she prepared breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner for her precious family. I can recall with great clarity the religious program that she’d listen to after dinner while doing the dishes when everyone else was watching television or reading the paper. A Catholic Mass would be on the radio. She was always working on improving her relationship with God and at becoming more Christ-like.

I understand that today. Back then, I thought that she was too religious. My parents were great role-models.

As soon as I was old enough to be an altar server, I was signed-up and on the altar proudly sporting my black and white cassock and surplice (robes).  Not only was I on the altar each weekend but, I was paid cash by brides and grooms to serve at their weddings. I especially cherished being asked to serve at funerals within our parish because I could get out of school classes for a couple of hours.  Serve God and get out of class. Life is good!

My first paying job was working at the rectory where the priests lived.  I had several responsibilities: answering the phone and door, counting the money from church collections and trying to decide what to do with the people who came to the church looking for money or food (or both!).  It was a big responsibility for a 14 year old boy. I learned that people sometimes reach out to God when their lives are going well but, are much more likely to do so when things aren’t going so well.

At that point, I committed to stay close to God at all times.

After my tour as an altar server, I began teaching religious education to 7th and 8th graders.  I had to learn the weekly lesson well-enough to understand why this material should be important to the 13 and 14-year old angels in my class. The process really caused me to question many things: why was I Catholic?, why do I have faith?, why was it so important for these young souls to develop and nurture their relationship with God?, why should faith be so important to them now and even more so in the future? Through the process of trying to get good enough to teach, I had convinced myself that I was on the right track with my relationship with God and my spiritual maturation process!

Somewhere around the time that I was teaching religious education (in my early twenties), I was asked to become a Eucharistic Minister.  Eucharistic ministers are the lay people who are allowed to distribute holy communion.  What a privilege and honor that was!  Prior to allowing Eucharistic Ministers to distribute communion, it was only the priests who were allowed to perform this special job. Now, I’m standing up in front of the congregation and distributing the “Body of Christ” to faith-filled individuals.  Wow!

Today, I am still a Eucharistic minister and have become a lector. Lectors read 2 readings (usually one from the old testament and a second from the new testament) and psalms during the mass.  In order to be able to properly own and proclaim the readings, I study them and rehearse them several times prior to each mass. I try to imagine myself knowing them well enough to be able to explain them without reading them or to proclaim a homily based upon the readings. Understanding the Word of God brings me closer to God and to each person in my life.

As I look back on the progression of my faith, I see that it was woven into everything we did. Our faith was a big part of our social community. Prayer was a part of our meals.  It was a part of the highs and the lows within our family – weddings, wakes and funerals. It was the real reason for each of the important holidays (Holy Days) within our family – Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Our faith is an important part of our marriage. My relationship with God has helped me with my marriage and continues doing so on a daily basis.

The concept of love your God, love your neighbor and love yourself became the foundation upon which I’ve been able to build my life. I know that when I accomplish each of those things on a daily basis, that day has gone very well! What a remarkably simple process to follow.

At this stage in my development, I’m at the point where this God-centered, love-focused thinking effects each of my thoughts, each of my words and each of my actions.  For me, it’s a great way to bring God into each and every aspect of my life by simply thinking “How would God respond?”, “What would God say?”, or “What would God do?” in each and every situation.

I now realize that the gift of faith is one that keeps on giving.  It is a gift that can be developed and nurtured on a daily basis.

Thanks Mom and Dad for the most important gift that I’ve ever received!